


Fever

by TheRavingRedhead



Category: A Very Potter Musical, AVPM - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, flangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 78,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRavingRedhead/pseuds/TheRavingRedhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little Voldy knows a lot of things, but he doesn't quite know what's going on with him when he meets the new kid at the orphanage.<br/>StarKid/AVPM canon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a number of things, but mostly StarKid's A Very Potter Musical.  
> No copyright infringement intended, obviously.

Despite his young age, little Voldy knew a lot of things. He knew why the sun was bright, how snakes shed their skin, and he even knew more magic spells than anybody else at Mrs. Cole's orphanage – even the bigger kids. He knew how to make things levitate, control them, transfigure them, and even make them appear out of thin air.   
  
Yes, little Voldy knew quite a lot. But one of the few things he didn't know, and what had been puzzling him for a couple of hours, was why the skinny brown-haired kid was sitting all alone in the middle of the backyard making – of all things – flowers appear out of the ground. Voldy had never really noticed that boy before, and wondered if he was a new kid, or if he had always hidden in the shadows. Voldy had lived at the orphanage ever since he was just a few weeks old and even so, he wasn't even remotely familiar with this new kid.   
  
After examining the skinny brown-haired kid for another half hour, Voldy decided to give in to his curiosity and talk to him. Normally, Voldy wouldn't talk to the other kids because they were either too wimpy or too boring, or simply scared of him. But this kid hadn't made an attempt to get close to  _anybody_ , not even the adults supervising the place, and he looked quite lonely sitting all by himself in the middle of the yard. Voldy grabbed his wand and approached the kid, who was now surrounded by all kinds of different flowers; roses, dandelions, lilies, daisies – the works. It kind of sickened Voldy because he didn't like flowers that much, but he still sat down on the ground next to the kid.  
  
"Hi," was the first thing that came out of his mouth. The skinny brown-haired kid's head shot up in surprise at the sudden company, and he almost fell backwards. "Whoa!" Voldy exclaimed as he grabbed the boy's hand to pull him up in a sitting position again. "Sorry, did I scare you?"  
  
The boy just looked at him with wide eyes, still holding Voldy's pale hand in his own. He swallowed nervously before speaking. "Um, k- kinda," he stuttered and looked away, as if he was afraid of any further conversation.  
  
Voldy tilted his head a bit and let go of the boy's hand. He grinned stupidly and scratched his cheek. "Gee, sorry, didn't mean to," he said and watched as the boy continued to take care of his flowers.  
  
"I- i- it's okay," the boy said nervously while he trimmed some of the roses' thorns. Voldy saw a little smile appear on his face as he did so, and decided to speak some more.  
  
"So… you like flowers, huh?" he asked, flicking his wand in his hand, not sure what to do with it at this point.  
  
The boy's smile widened just a little bit at that. "Yeah, they're my fa- favorite," he said, a little less anxious than a few moments ago. "I- I like roses the most. They're so pretty and they smell so ni- nice. I just d- don't like the thorns. They sting, and that hurts a lot," he added while holding up a single rose and examining it, possibly making sure there were no thorns left on the stalk.   
  
There was silence between the two for a couple of seconds, but the boy didn't seem to mind. Voldy, however, wanted to talk some more. He was starting to get really bored with this kid, and wanted to know if it had really been worth it to sit down next to him. "My name's Voldemort, by the way," he said. "Well, it's not actually my name, I just like it as a nickname. Most people call me Voldy. What's your name?"   
  
"I'm Quirinus Quirrell," the boy replied. He put the rose back on the ground and waved his wand a bit. Roots started to form on the rose's stalk as the dirt took it back, and soon it was standing on its own from the ground. "B- but I'm more comfortable with just Qu- Quirrell. 'Cause it sounds just like 'squirrel', a- and it's easier to remember that way."  
  
Voldy chuckled a bit at that. Okay, so the kid – no,  _Quirrell_  – wasn't as boring as he had thought he would be. Suddenly, he realized that he had gone by a whole introduction without so much as thinking about asking Quirrell about his magic, which was probably the one thing he was the most curious about. "So how are you even doing that? You know, that thing with the flowers."  
  
"Oh, this?" Quirrell said, gesturing to the sudden flowerbed that surrounded them. "Um, well, m- my mom used to do this with me all the time when we…" He hesitated and swallowed. "When we got bored. W- we'd make all kinds of different flowers appear and- and arrange them in patterns and make them spell stuff out and… stuff." His voice cracked a bit at the last word, and Voldy noticed his lip quiver a bit.  
  
"What's wrong?" Voldy asked him. He thought about putting a hand on Quirrell's shoulder, but decided against it because they had only just met and it would be kind of inappropriate.  
  
Quirrell sobbed a bit before speaking again. "I- I'm sorry. It's just--" He couldn't finish the sentence, and bit his lip instead, whimpering slightly. Voldy could only watch as Quirrell's nervous-looking face started to melt into a very sad one, and almost gasped when he saw the tears that were forming in his eyes.   
  
Voldy had never seen anybody cry before (he rarely even did it himself), and had absolutely no idea how to act. Should he just let Quirrell cry out and then let him finish what he had been trying to say? Should he touch him? If so, where? Should he say something? If so, what? He was so confused, and so he only sat there in silence looking at the ground while Quirrell quietly sobbed by his side.  
  
 _Well, this is the weirdest first talk I've ever had_ , Voldy thought to himself. He glanced over at Quirrell, who looked like he was still trying to hold back his tears, as if he didn't want Voldy to know he was this sad. Finally, Voldy thought of something to say. "Hey, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."  
  
Sniffling, Quirrell wiped his eyes with his arm. "Th- Thanks…" he almost whispered. "I- I'll tell you later, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Voldy replied and smiled. At least Quirrell looked a little less sad now. Voldy let another few seconds pass to let Quirrell calm down before he spoke again. "So have you been doing magic for a long time?"  
  
"Ever since I can re- remember, really," Quirrell said, his voice still a little cracked. "I- I think I first realized I could do it when I a- accidentally threw a chair against a wall by just waving my hand. There was wood and p- planks everywhere. It was pretty messy."  
  
Voldy wasn't sure if it was the story or the way Quirrell said it, but something about it was so hilarious that it made him laugh out loud. Quirrell was a little startled at first, seeing as how he had just stopped crying, but soon started chuckling as well. For some reason, that made Voldy very happy. He wasn't sure why, but decided not to think about it for now. All he could think about was baby Quirrell throwing a chair, anyway. As Voldy kept laughing – he seriously could not stop picturing it – Quirrell's chuckles gradually worked themselves up to a real laugh as well, and the two boys just sat there laughing at the chair incident while Quirrell was still trying to describe it some more ("R- really! It almost exploded!"). He seemed to have forgotten all about being sad, which in turn made Voldy feel much better for him.  
  
Finally, they calmed down a bit, and Voldy had to dry his eyes from laughing so hard. What a conversation. First it was really awkward, then Quirrell had started crying, and now they had just finished a laughing fit. It was certainly the most interesting (and longest) conversation Voldy had ever had with anyone.   
  
Quirrell smiled as they both stopped laughing and simply looked at Voldy, who was still drying his eyes with his sleeve. "Wh- what about you?" he then asked. "When did you first realize you could do m- magic?"  
  
"Uh, well," Voldy began and then cleared his throat. "I actually knew all along."  
  
"What?" Quirrell asked doubtfully. "That can't be right, you're like n- nine years old!"  
  
Voldy was impressed – he was in fact only nine years old.  _Nice guessing_ , he thought before continuing. "Yeah, but I never knew my parents, and I kinda grew up here, and since this is an orphanage for wizards, I kinda figured I was one."  
  
"You… you never knew your parents?" Quirrell inquired carefully, probably not wanting to upset Voldy. He didn't need to worry, though, since Voldy had never been upset about it.  
  
"Nope," Voldy continued. "Mrs. Cole told me my mom died when I was born, and my dad… uh, he kinda left her." Voldy had never given too much thought about his parents, and didn't really care about them either. Why should he? He never knew them, and had no intention of trying to find them now, especially since his dad clearly hadn't wanted him.   
  
"Wow, um… I- I'm really sorry about that," Quirrell said, sounding genuinely so. He placed a hand on Voldy's shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look – an almost-smile that seemed to say:  _there there, I'm here_.   
  
"Heh, it's okay," Voldy said and smiled. Feeling Quirrell's hand on his shoulder was strangely nice, and he wasn't sure if he wanted him to let go or not. Sure enough, though, Quirrell did, and Voldy decided he should keep talking. "It's not that big a deal, anyway. I mean, this is pretty much my home, so I don't have anything to miss like a lot of the other kids."  
  
Quirrell winced a little at that. "Yeah, you're lucky," he muttered before going back to looking at his flowers. He was still smiling, but there was nothing happy about the smile. It was like he was trying to cover up the fact that he was sad again, like he still didn't want Voldy to know about it.  
  
Darn it! Now Quirrell was upset again! Oh, if only Voldy had just stopped talking when he touched his shoulder. He watched Quirrell flick his wand aimlessly as the flowers arranged themselves in various forms (diamonds, circles, triangles, and the like), and tried to think of something to say or do that might cheer him up.   
  
"Hey, you wanna go up to my room?" he sheepishly asked. It was the only thing that popped into his head. "You could make some flower decorations for me, and I could show you some of the tricks I know."   
  
Quirrell rubbed his nose and simply kept smiling, trying to cover up a painful expression that Voldy somehow managed to see through the façade. "No, thanks," he said and shook his head. "M- maybe some other time."  
  
"Oh, okay," Voldy replied. He was a little disappointed that Quirrell didn't want to hang out, but still sort of happy because he had said he wanted to later. Voldy stood up and carefully patted Quirrell on the back. "I'll, uh, I'll see you later, then?"  
  
"Sure," Quirrell said and nodded.  
  
"Okay." Voldy stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds, and when Quirrell didn't say anything else, he turned around. "Bye."  
  
Quirrell didn't reply and instead just waved goodbye. As Voldy walked off, he could hear the distant sobs coming from the little boy, and it pained him. Why, he wasn't sure. But he was sure that he was going to talk to Quirrell again tomorrow. After seeing how sad and nervous he was, he didn't want to think of him all alone again. Quirrell obviously needed a friend, and Voldy decided to take it upon himself to take that role.   
  
Yes, little Voldy knew a lot of things. He knew how rain was made, why the sky was blue, and now, he knew that he wanted to be the skinny brown-haired kid's friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Voldy woke up earlier than usual the next morning. He was really excited to talk to Quirrell again, and it was pretty much the only thing he could think about. He hopped out of bed and had a look at himself in the mirror on the wall. He still looked like he always had: his big, red eyes were still very sunken-in, his cheekbones still stood out like he was starving himself, his nose was still almost non-visible and snake-like, and his skin was still as pale white as ever. Voldy slid a hand through his grayish hair and sighed. 

He brushed his teeth and got dressed before rushing out into the backyard. He was one of the first kids out today, seeing as it was so early. Only a small group of kids was already outside, along with a couple of grown-ups on watch duty. Quirrell was nowhere to be seen, so Voldy decided to wait for him. He sat down on the same spot they had had their chat the day before and started playing with his wand. 

He cut some of the grass in front of him, and made the dirt and dust under it form a neat pile that he then made fly around like a ribbon. Though he couldn't see them, he noticed that the small group of kids had somewhat stopped talking; they were whispering now. He didn't mind, and continued to play with the dirt. It was oddly soothing, and was definitely an okay way to pass the time until more kids started to show up. 

As the seconds became minutes, and Voldy was sure that the morning was getting longer, more and more kids gleefully skipped into the orphanage's backyard, all displaying different kinds of magic. There were little girls doing imperfect versions of some kind of light-spell, a few boys unsuccessfully trying to carve their names into a tree with just their magic, and even a group of both genders looking for bugs to do experiments on. Voldy grinned at their stupid attempts at magic. Clearly, none of them had mastered it like he and Quirrell had. 

Speaking of which, where was Quirrell anyway? Voldy had probably been sitting there alone for about an hour and there were still no signs of his new friend. He looked around the yard, trying to see a glimpse of Quirrell's brown hair or his flowerbed somewhere, but he wasn't there. For a moment, Voldy wondered if Quirrell had been adopted already. That couldn't have been the case, though, because he had only just arrived. Right?

Voldy sighed and let the dirt drop to the ground again and with a flick of his wand, he made the grass grow back. He stood up and had one last look around before deciding that Quirrell was probably not going to show up any time soon, if he even planned to. Then it hit him: what if Voldy had upset Quirrell too much yesterday? What if he had made him so upset that he would never want to see him again? Voldy's tummy stung a bit as he thought about it, because as much as it pained him to see Quirrell upset, not seeing him at all would be even worse. He had no idea why, though. Maybe because Quirrell was the only wizard at the orphanage who could do magic as well as he could.

Not wanting to waste any more time thinking about it, Voldy rushed back inside to find an adult. Normally, he hated seeking adults for help since he could look out for himself pretty well, but even he had to admit that he needed help to find Quirrell's room. After running up and down corridors for a few minutes, Voldy finally found somebody he could ask. It was none other than Mrs. Cole herself. 

She was standing by a window looking out into the backyard like an owl watching its prey. Her lazy, gray eyes barely twitched as Voldy called her name, and she looked at him with a tired expression.

"Voldemort?" she said in a deep, tired voice. Her already wrinkled face became even more wrinkled as she developed a curious look. "What brings you here? Don't you usually try to avoid anybody over the age of ten?"

"Mrs. Cole, I need to ask you something," Voldy said, ignoring her last remark. "Do you know where Quirinus Quirrell's room is?"

"Quirrell. Quirrell," Mrs. Cole repeated, and put a hand to her chin in thought. "Ah yes, the new boy. His room is on the third floor, first room to the right."

"Thanks!" Voldy replied before dashing off.

"Although, I should probably tell you!" Mrs. Cole added, stopping Voldy in his tracks. "He's been through pretty rough times. Be careful with him."

Voldy nodded. He wasn't sure what she had meant with that, but decided to definitely take her last advice. He was certainly going to be careful with Quirrell. He didn't want to upset him again. 

Running up the stairs to the third floor took an awful lot of time, and Voldy had become pretty tired once he finally reached it. He took a moment to breathe a bit, and then turned to the right to see the door to Quirrell's room – at least, according to Mrs. Cole. Voldy approached it carefully and raised his hand to knock before hearing faint voices coming from inside. He hesitated and looked around. Nobody was there to see him, so he pressed his ear to the door to try and hear what was being said.

"It's not your fault, Quirinus," somebody (an older man, Voldy guessed) said. "What's done is done, that much I can tell you. But it most certainly wasn't your fault."

Voldy heard quiet sobs before a familiar, though cracked, voice spoke. "B- bu- but it's n- not fair. I should've st- stopped him. I- I could've- could've done something!"

The pain in those words made Voldy's tummy sting a bit more. Why was Quirrell so upset? What wasn't his fault? Why could he have done something? There was a short silence before the man spoke again.

"He was far too dangerous," the man said in a soft and soothing voice. "You're lucky you even survived. Now, I want you to listen to me very carefully, Quirinus. You must not let this take over you, understand? If at any point you feel that these horrible memories are starting to spread throughout your body, I want you to try and remember all the good times with your mother."

"It's so ha- ha- hard!" Quirrell exclaimed before starting to sob louder than before. Voldy bit his lip; there was something about that yell that didn't feel right. 

"I know it is, but you have to try," the man said quietly. "You must do it in order to keep your mother's memory alive. If you let her love and caring fill you up instead of the bad memories, then I know you will be able to find the courage to win. And just so you know, Quirinus, you're not alone. You can tell somebody about this. I promise it'll make you feel a little better."

Voldy wasn't sure at all what the man was talking about, but when he heard footsteps approaching the door, he instantly backed away from it and pretended to have been walking up the stairs just now. The door creaked open, and Voldy saw the man step out. He had long reddish-brown hair and a long beard to match it, but most of it was turning white. His robes were large and thick, and he moved around gracefully for a man of that age. 

"I'll be back tomorrow, don't worry," he said to Quirrell. "Take care of yourself now."

The man turned around to leave the room, and almost walked right into Voldy, who had frozen in his tracks. With a soft smile, the man looked at him as he passed him in the stairway and walked off. Voldy stood there for the longest time just watching the man walk down the stairs before he was out of sight. Voldy heard a sniffle and a door close, and suddenly he remembered why he was there. He rushed up the stairs, positioned himself in front of the door again, and knocked.

A small sniffle was heard from inside the room before Quirrell opened the door just enough for Voldy to see his red face and glossy eyes. The sting in his tummy immediately returned, and it took him a while to think of something to say.

"Hi," was the first thing that came out – just like yesterday. 

"Hi," Quirrell whispered and looked down. He didn't say anything else, so Voldy cleared his throat.

"Uh, can I come in?" 

"S- sure." Quirrell opened the door completely and Voldy carefully stepped inside. Quirrell's room wasn't at all unlike Voldy's: the same gloomy window, a similar-looking bed lying beside the left wall, a closet to the left of the door, a desk sitting in the right corner, and a sink and a little mirror on the right wall. The only difference was that while Voldy's room was dark and green and spooky (just the way he liked it), Quirrell's was brighter and had a warmer feel to it, and there were flower decorations on the empty spots on the walls – wreaths of different shapes and sizes with all kinds of flowers in them. Voldy stared at them in awe.

"Wow, you're really really good at this," he said as he turned around in circles to take it all in. "They all look…" He paused. He never said anything like this about anything, but for some reason, he felt like he needed to say it, just those two words, to Quirrell to hopefully cheer him up: "Really pretty."

Quirrell rubbed his eyes and, just as Voldy had hoped he would, smiled. "Th- thanks," was all he said. He then sat down on his bed and continued to dry his face. Voldy could see that he had been crying a lot; his shirt was all wet and his eyes were swollen and red.

"Say, uh, who was that man?" Voldy asked to keep the air in the room from becoming too awkward. 

"Oh, him?" said Quirrell and sniffled. "Th- that was Mister Dumbledore. He's, um… he's he- helping me with stuff."

Voldy knew he was expecting too much to be asking something like this, but still did. "What kind of stuff?" 

"Just… stuff. I- I'll tell you later," Quirrell replied. 

That was the second time in two days Quirrell had said that. What was it that kept making him so sad? And why wouldn't he tell Voldy about it? He had clearly told this Dumbledore person about it, so why not him too? Voldy wasn't sure what to make of all this. Did it mean that Quirrell didn't want to be friends? Or was he just too afraid to say anything?

"Hey, c- can- can I ask you something?" Quirrell suddenly asked, snapping Voldy out of his thoughts. 

"Sure, anything," said Voldy and sat down next to Quirrell on the bed.

"I- if you didn't know your parents, how come you're always so ha- happy?"

"Uhh…" Voldy drawled. How in the world was he supposed to answer that without making Quirrell upset again? The right answer was that because he didn't know his parents, he had no one to miss – but he had said that yesterday, and that had made Quirrell really really sad. Oh, what to say, what to say? 

He was saved when Quirrell kept talking. "I mean, I know you d- don't have anything to miss and stuff, but wh- what makes you happy? Y- Ya know, since you don't have anything happy to remember, like so- something with your parents." He bit his lip nervously, as if he was afraid he had hit a weak spot or something.

"Uh, I guess I'm just so used to being alone, I never really thought about it," Voldy replied sheepishly. "I don't normally talk to anybody a lot, and just… I dunno, I'm always by myself anyway, so I don't mind it."

"It's just- Well, M- Mister Dumbledore told me to think ha- happy thoughts to get better, but I'm just so scared and s- sad all the time I don't know if I can, and I was wo- wondering how you did it," Quirrell said really fast, but in a way that made Voldy feel sorry for him. 

There was a short silence between the two boys before Voldy spoke again. He had to take a deep breath before he did, because he knew he had to be careful. "Hey, um, just so you know, you're my first ff… f- fr- friend I've made here." The word friend was kind of hard to spit out, for some reason. Maybe it was because he had never had to say it before. "And I dunno, maybe you can think of that when you're sad. Ya know, to make you happy."

Voldy wasn't sure if anything he had just said made any sense at all, but when he saw a small smile appear on Quirrell's face, he sighed in relief. "Thanks, that's r- really nice of you." Quirrell placed a hand on his chest and looked down on it. When Voldy was about to ask what he was doing, Quirrell looked back up again, his smile a little wider. "Hey, I think it just worked."

"Really?" Voldy was surprised. He had only just said that nonsense because he thought it would make Quirrell a little less sad – he had no idea it was actually going to work, especially since this was only their second conversation. "You feel better?"

Quirrell nodded. "A little bit, yeah." He let his hand fall from his chest and into his lap, still wearing that sweet smile of his. "You know, I- I've never really had a f- friend before either. So, um, th- thanks. For being my friend."

"No problem," Voldy replied. He looked at Quirrell smiling at him for a couple of seconds. He wasn't sure why, but there was something about seeing Quirrell smile that made him feel very happy and warm inside. "So how do you like the orphanage?"

"It's okay, I guess," said Quirrell. "I- I mean, at first I thought it was going to be really s- scary and that I was going to be lonely, b- but then you came to talk to me and- and it was all better."

The sting in Voldy's tummy returned. Only this time, it didn't hurt; it just reminded him that his tummy was there. Voldy was pretty sure this was only because Quirrell was the first and only person he had ever considered a friend. 

"I'm, uh… I'm glad," he said and grinned at Quirrell. "Hey, Quirrell, remember yesterday when I said we could hang out? And that you could make me some flower stuff and I could show you some of the tricks I know?"

"Yeah?" Quirrell said innocently.

"You wanna do that now?" Voldy asked. The idea had only struck him just now, and he wondered if Quirrell was up for it, now that he knew that he considered him his friend.

"Sure!" said Quirrell, and he actually seemed excited about hanging out with Voldy. 

The two boys spent the rest of the day teaching each other the spells they were best at. Quirrell had some trouble with moving things that levitated, but did manage to keep some objects afloat for a couple of seconds. He even managed to somewhat make a spider do what he wanted, but that was before they figured out they weren't the ones controlling it. Voldy, however, had no skills in the flower department, and so Quirrell basically had to baby him through every single spell he knew. Even then, Voldy couldn't make decent flowers appear out of the ground, nor could he arrange them into neat patterns like Quirrell could. 

In the end, both boys decided that they were both better at their respective skills. They did have fun, though, and Voldy was particularly pleased with how happy Quirrell was. Not once did he look sad or anything, and he looked much, much happier than Voldy had seen him so far that day. He was energetic, he laughed, he wasn't as shy as he had been when they first met, and just overall much more fun to be around.

That evening, when they had both said their goodbyes and gone to bed in their separate rooms, Voldy stayed awake for a couple of minutes thinking about his day. He knew now just how much he had been missing his first nine years of his life. Having a friend was like nothing he'd ever imagined, especially someone like Quirrell. There was just something about that boy that made Voldy feel very happy. At this point, he didn't mind that Quirrell wouldn't tell him his secret. He could take all the time he wanted, and Voldy would still wait. 

There was just one thing that puzzled Voldy more than Quirrell's secret. Whenever Quirrell looked either especially sad or especially happy, Voldy always felt a weird sting or tingle in his tummy. He had no idea what it was about, but it was just so confusing. Maybe if he slept on it he would be able to think of an explanation in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Days turned into weeks for Voldy and Quirrell, and as they passed, the two became more and more acquainted with each other. They were also much more comfortable when they were together, and the awkward silences had gotten fewer and fewer. Quirrell wasn't nearly as nervous as he had been when Voldy first met him (although his stutter was still present), and even started their conversations from time to time, which wasn't something he had done at first.

Of course, there were times when Quirrell would feel sad again, and Voldy noticed that it was almost always in the morning. As the day went on, however, Quirrell would be feeling better and better, and they always happily said good night to each other in the evenings. Voldy wasn't sure what to make of that, and never dared to ask. When Quirrell was happy, he was happy, and he didn't want to ruin that for either of them by asking stupid questions.

There was still one thing that Voldy desperately wanted to ask somebody – anybody, really – but knew he would never have the guts to do. Why was it that every time Quirrell was around, his tummy felt all light and fuzzy, and when he wasn't, it felt all tight and stingy? No matter how much he tried to shoo it away, it always came back to annoy him, and wouldn't stop until he went to sleep at night. And even then, he would sometimes wake up with sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat. 

No matter how thoroughly he looked those symptoms up at the orphanage library, he could never get a straight answer. Every one of them turned out to be to some little sickness like a cold, stomach problems, and migraines; or some kind of psychological issues like stress. None of them added up for him, though, because they didn't have all the symptoms rolled into one thing. He often pondered over whether he should ask Quirrell about it or not, since he was the smartest person he knew apart from himself. He always decided not to, since Quirrell seemed to have enough on his mind.

Every other day or so, Quirrell would meet up with that Dumbledore person for a few minutes and talk about stuff. Voldy had no idea what went on at those meetings, but decided they were good for Quirrell because he was always especially energetic when they were done. Voldy didn't even know who this Dumbledore was or where he came from, but he must have been a good guy since he was helping his best friend.

Best friend.

Yeah, that was basically what the two of them had become over the course of the last two months. Even though they hadn't shared everything with each other just yet, they still trusted each other and knew that the other one would accept them no matter what. There were no worries about one making fun of the other for anything, even though they had different views and opinions on things. 

One warm summer day, Voldy decided he trusted Quirrell enough to tell him his very biggest secret. It was something he wasn't sure he was proud of or embarrassed about. What he was sure about, though, was that Quirrell wouldn't think it was stupid. At least, not that stupid, hopefully.

The two of them met at their usual spot in the backyard that day, and had been playing with their magic (Quirrell kept himself busy making a variety of bouquets, while Voldy practiced making bugs appear from the end of his wand) when Voldy spoke.

"Say Quirrell, we've know each other for a while now, right?" he asked with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"Right," said Quirrell, not keeping an eye off his newest creation. 

"And we'd tell each other anything, right?"

"Right."

"Then, can I tell you something?" Voldy asked. Quirrell looked up now, and Voldy could feel his tummy get all fluttery again – probably because he was nervous. He had a look around to see how many kids were outside today. It was a warm day, so of course there were a lot of kids around them. Voldy bit his lip and looked back at Quirrell. "In my room?"

Quirrell looked at him with a confused expression. "Uh, okay, sure. But it's gotta be qu- quick, because I'm meeting Mister Du- Dumbledore today."

"Oh sure, it's not gonna take that long," Voldy promised. He stood up, and Quirrell did the same after retracting his bouquets into his wand. Voldy looked at him, impressed, and then the pair rushed inside the large orphanage.

Voldy's room was on the ground floor, so they didn't have to run up any stairs to reach it, but they did have to pass a few corridors and various staff rooms before they were finally there. They went inside and Voldy gestured to Quirrell to have a seat on his bed. He then waved his wand which made the black curtains block the window, making the room even darker and spookier than it was before. Quirrell picked up his own wand and flicked it, causing a light to appear on its tip.

"Wh- what's this all about, Voldy?" he asked, slightly more nervous than usual. "Why'd you b- block the window?"

"Because I don't want anybody but you to see this," Voldy replied, now feeling a bit warmer than he had been a few moments ago. He shook it off and took a deep breath. "Quirrell! I gotta show you something."

"O- okay," said Quirrell and nodded. 

Voldy took a couple of seconds to prepare himself, and then dropped to his knees. He stretched his arm under the bed and came back with an old worn-out muggle radio. Before Quirrell could ask, Voldy shushed him. "Just watch." He gave the radio a tap, and it instantly began tuning itself. The two boys watched as the large button on the front moved left and right and the static sounds from the radio buzzed in their ears. Finally, the tuner slowed down, and the boys could hear a jazzy tune surrounding the room. 

Voldy swallowed as he looked at Quirrell, who was smiling and bouncing in place to the rhythm. "That's a p- pretty neat trick!" he said and started snapping his fingers.

"It's not over yet," Voldy said. He felt his body tremble a bit – he had never felt so nervous in his life. He didn't even know why. After all, Quirrell was his best friend, and he would never make fun of him for something like this. Still, now he was worried that Quirrell would think it was stupid for somebody like him to like doing this. 

After absorbing the tune of the song playing on the radio, Voldy positioned himself on the best spot on the floor, closed his eyes, and began tapping his feet. He tapped them separately, at the same time, slowly, fast, and even turned them in circles on the floor. He flailed his arms, twirled, kicked, and did all sorts of different moves before the song came to a close. When it did, he tapped the radio with his wand again, turning it off, and pushed it back under his bed. He then waved his wand to pull the curtains back, instantly giving the room a bit more light. 

For a moment, he just looked at the floor, his face still feeling really really warm for some reason. He didn't even dare to look at Quirrell, who was probably holding back a laugh anyway. A few seconds of silence passed before Voldy heart a soft clap coming from the person in front of him. At last, he dared to look up and saw Quirrell applauding with the biggest grin on his face Voldy had ever seen. 

"Wow! Voldy!" he exclaimed as he kept clapping. "Tha- that was really, really swell!"

"It… it was?" Voldy asked doubtfully. Surely Quirrell hadn't actually liked that, had he?

"Oh yes! I- I wish I could dance like that!" Quirrell continued as he put his hands in his lap again. "You c- clearly know your stuff!"

Voldy chuckled a little. Okay, so Quirrell did like it. "Well, kinda. I've always loved to dance like that, especially if the song is all upbeat and fun," he admitted. "I just- I never want anybody to see me do it because it looks so stupid."

"Stupid? Are you c- crazy?" Quirrell said excitedly. "It looked really good! A- and hey, we can be d- different together now. I like flowers, you like dancing," he added with the sweetest smile. 

Seeing Quirrell so happy made Voldy's tummy feel all sorts of flutter – what was that? – but he was still very thankful to have someone like him as a friend. He had been worried that Quirrell would think it was silly for someone like him to like dancing, but he did have a very good point with the whole liking flowers thing. Guess we're always gonna be a bit different from the others, Voldy thought to himself.

"Say, it's almost t- time for me to go see Dumbledore," Quirrell said, snapping Voldy out of his thoughts. "You wa- wanna walk upstairs with me?"

"Sure, why not?" said Voldy and shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."

"Okay, p- promise you'll wait for me outside?" Quirrell asked, to which Voldy nodded. Quirrell didn't even need to ask him to wait; he always did. 

The pair skipped upstairs to the third floor, where Quirrell's room was. When there, they gave each other a silent wave to let the other know they'd be meeting again in a few minutes, and Quirrell went inside his room. Voldy sat down on the top of the stairs and waited. Shortly after, he heard the familiar sound of Mister Dumbledore apparating into the room, which was how he always entered. These meetings were usually short, thank goodness, and normally Dumbledore would just talk to Quirrell, who was showing great improvements in the upset-department. That is, he rarely ever cried during these meetings recently, which in turn made Voldy very happy. At least Dumbledore was doing something that was good for Quirrell.

"Oww," Voldy whined. There it was again! That stupid tingly feeling in his tummy! This time, it was accompanied with a bizarre heat in his face, just like he had felt before he had danced for Quirrell just now. He placed a hand on his cheek, and felt that it was extremely warm. He shook his head violently in an attempt to make it go away, but it only made his tummy feel lighter. Several minutes passed and these weird feelings showed no signs of going away. What was going on with him? Oh, if only somebody could tell him what was wrong—

"Voldy?" a voice said from behind him. Voldy turned around to see both Quirrell and Dumbledore standing above him. Quirrell was fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lip, his nervousness clearly shining through. Voldy wondered what this was about. Did Dumbledore not want him to be sitting there because he thought he heard too much?

"Yeah?" he replied sheepishly as he stood up and brushed himself off. He coughed to make it look like the hotness in his face was from heavy breathing or something. "What's up?"

"So you're Voldemort," Dumbledore said in his usual soothing voice. Voldy nodded hesitantly as the man in front of him gestured him to go back in the room with him and Quirrell. "Come, we have something to show you."

Voldy glanced at Quirrell, who still seemed a bit uneasy. He looked back up at Dumbledore, who was smiling and waiting for him to enter the room. Slowly, Voldy did just that. He wasn't sure what to expect, but was careful not to do anything drastic, in case this was about him always sitting in the staircase as if he was eavesdropping or something. 

Quirrell's room looked just like it always did: bright and colorful, with numerous flower decorations on the walls (he replaced them every so often, of course). What was new in the room was the odd-looking stone basin sitting on a small table in the middle of the room. Voldy cautiously approached it and saw that it was filled with some eerie, glowing, silvery substance that swam around in circles. He grimaced a bit when he noticed that they almost looked like a bunch of white hairs in a soup bowl. He then heard the door close behind him and looked back up to see that Quirrell and Dumbledore were back inside.

"Mister Dumbledore, sir?" Voldy began and pointed at the basin. "What is this?"

"This, my dear boy, is a Pensieve," Dumbledore replied. Voldy just stared at him. Did he honestly think he had a clue what that meant? Dumbledore walked towards the Pensieve and placed a hand on it. "The cloud-like substance you see here are memories. To be more precise, they are Quirinus' memories."

Voldy kept staring at Dumbledore, and then looked back into the Pensieve. He watched as the 'hairs' swam in the basin and swirled around one another. He was still very confused. What was this all about? Why was Dumbledore showing this to him? And if he was telling the truth about the memories-thing, why did that matter? "So… what do I do with these?"

Dumbledore chuckled at that. "It's not what you do with the memories, but what is hidden within them that counts. You see, Voldemort, by siphoning the excess thoughts from one's mind and pouring them into the basin before you, one can simply look at past events again from another perspective."

There was a short silence. "Wait- what?" Voldy then asked, still completely puzzled. 

"Perhaps I'm being a bit too formal with this," Dumbledore said, more to himself than Voldy. "Let's say you have a very happy memory, one that you cherish with all your heart, and wish you could live or at least witness again. The Pensieve allows you to do so, even if you see the memory from another point of view."

Dumbledore was quiet for a few seconds to let the information sink into Voldy's head. Voldy, who until that point had no idea what was going on, pondered for a moment, and then pointed at the basin. "Are you saying that you can see stuff that's happened to you with this thing?" he asked, somewhat beginning to understand the concept of the Pensieve.

"Precisely," Dumbledore replied. "I find it especially handy to use when it comes to recalling memories that are a bit unclear in one's mind, or memories that are too painful to bring up in words." Quirrell, who had been strangely silent for the past few minutes, nodded at that last statement. "Quirinus here is facing the latter problem."

Voldy looked back at Quirrell, who was now timidly rubbing his arm. Suddenly, it hit him. "Is this… Is this about that thing you keep saying you'll tell me later?" he asked Quirrell, who nodded silently again.

"I've been telling Quirinus for quite some time now that he should share this with somebody," Dumbledore continued, seemingly ignoring Voldy's last comment. He looked over the two boys, who were still staring at each other in an odd, yet understanding silence. "It seems to me that the two of you share quite a bond, so I thought it was only fitting that you should be the one he should show it to, Voldemort."

Voldy swallowed hard. Was this really what Quirrell wanted, or was Dumbledore just making it up? Quirrell did look uncomfortable enough as it was, so it was pretty easy to make the assumption that it wasn't his idea. Still, Voldy had always known Quirrell had some kind of secret that he kept saying he would just tell him later, so he asked: "Are you sure, buddy?"

Quirrell nodded, and finally spoke. "I wa- want you to see it. You showed me your secret, so I want you t- to see mine."

The sincerity in Quirrell's voice made Voldy's tummy flutter again, and he had to bite his lip to prevent himself from whimpering because of it. Quirrell really seemed sure about this, so Voldy looked back up at Dumbledore. "Okay. What do I do?"

"Simply down your head into the Pensieve, and you will see," Dumbledore replied, as if it was completely obvious.

Voldy peeked at Quirrell one last time (the sting in his tummy still not disappearing) and then looked at his reflection in the Pensieve. The 'hairs' were still floating in there aimlessly. Taking a deep breath, Voldy closed his eyes and plunged his face into the basin.


	4. Chapter 4

The moment Voldy’s face touched the substance in the Pensieve, he felt as if somebody had thrown him into it, and although he expected to hit the stone bottom, he never did. Instead he fell through something ice-cold and black, and he felt like something was sucking him into a giant, spinning hole. Before he could begin to think about what was happening to him and why, he was suddenly standing on the floor in an unfamiliar room. 

Voldy had a look around. The room was almost completely unlit, save for a few cracks in the wooden walls that surrounded it. It was small and warm, and despite the darkness, it felt quite cozy. The only thing that ruined the comfort were noises coming from somewhere outside the room. Voldy took a few steps forward to examine the small room further, while still wondering what could possibly have happened here that Quirrell wanted him to know about. He stopped when the little light that was in the room got a little brighter all of a sudden, and noticed a little boy sitting in front of him. 

The boy was holding a wand, and Voldy saw that the sudden light had come from it. He approached the boy and immediately recognized the brown hair on the top of his head. This was definitely Quirrell. What in the world was he doing all alone in this dark room? Voldy scratched his head as he sat down next to Quirrell’s younger self (he couldn’t be more than three or four years old) and looked at him. Instantly, Voldy’s tummy turned.

Quirrell’s expression was a mixture of fear and sadness, his eyes were teary and red, his face was wet, and he was trembling. Voldy’s heart started beating a little faster. He wanted to comfort Quirrell so badly right now, but had to remind himself that this was a memory, and that Quirrell most definitely couldn’t see him; otherwise he would have already turned around to see who was there. After examining Quirrell for a few seconds, Voldy noticed that he was looking through one of the cracks in the walls. He turned to see what he was looking at, to see what was making him so scared.

It was hard to tell because of how small the crack was, but Voldy could briefly see two persons outside the room. They were arguing very loudly, and Voldy realized that they were the source of the noises that were now echoing in the little room. He pressed his ear against the wall, hoping to hear at least actual words and not just shouts.

“I’ve told you a million times, I don’t want to see witchcraft in my house!” a man shouted. There was an odd growl in his voice that made Voldy shudder a bit.

“Look, I know this is difficult for you because of your condition, but could you please consider our son? Just once?” a woman yelled back, sounding just as furious as the man.

“Our son has nothing to do with this!” the man kept yelling. “At least he doesn’t have any of this nonsense in him! He’s normal, like he should be!”

“Oh! So you’re saying that this is all abnormal, is that it? Am I just a freak to you now?” The woman’s voice was beginning to sound a little cracked, either indicating that her throat was strained from all the shouting, or that she was starting to cry.

“You could’ve at least told me that you could do this stuff when we met!” The man punched something to express his point – a table, Voldy assumed.

The woman gasped, probably not expecting the table-punch. “I thought you loved me enough not to care! You said you’d accept me no matter what, and I believed that!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you were a stinking witch! Do you even know how badly they all look at this stuff? Do you?”

Voldy had no idea who ‘they’ were, and since the man didn’t explain it any further, he just kept on listening.

“I know perfectly well what they think about it, and I’ve told you already that I don’t care!” The woman sniffled as she finished talking. She was definitely crying now. 

SLAP!

Voldy gasped as he saw the man had swung his hand against the woman’s face, and heard Quirrell start sobbing silently by his side. There was a short silence, and Voldy tried to see through the crack if the woman was okay, or if the man was going for another blow. All he could see were the two figures standing completely still, just staring at each other, and not saying a word. Finally, Voldy heard footsteps and a loud sniffle and assumed that the woman was running away. The man punched the table again before he left as well.

When nothing else happened, Voldy looked back at the little boy by his side. Quirrell was crying now, and he tightened his grasp on his wand. He curled up into a ball and lay down, still crying and still holding his wand with the little light. Voldy felt horrible. It pained him to know that he couldn’t do anything for Quirrell right now. His tummy felt like it had dropped, and his heart was still beating like crazy. 

“Quirrell…” he whispered as he reached out a hand to at least pat his friend’s younger self on the back. Before he got a chance to do so, however, he heard a creak behind them, and turned around to see the woman from before coming into the room. She was still sniffling, and an obvious bruise was starting to form on her left cheek. Voldy backed away slightly as she sat down next to the crying Quirrell.

“It’s okay, Quirinus,” she said in a hushed voice as she picked him up and hugged him. “It’s alright now. Mommy and daddy aren’t fighting anymore.”

Quirrell dug his face into his mother’s shoulder and kept on crying. Voldy’s tummy felt so empty now, it was almost sickening. Seeing his best friend so miserable at such a young age was too much to handle. Fortunately for him, just as Quirrell’s mother was about to say something more, the scenery began to fade, and Voldy found himself sitting in a blurry space for a couple of seconds before his surroundings became clear again.

This time, he was in a backyard of some sort. It was definitely summertime, because every bit of nature around him was green and in bloom, and the blazing sun shone brightly. Voldy eyed young Quirrell fairly quickly, and saw that he was practicing his magic. He smiled when he saw that Quirrell was making flowers talks appear out of the ground, and remembered that he had been doing the exact same thing when the two of them first met. Only this time, Quirrell was still very young, possibly only five or six, and his magic hadn’t been perfected just yet. There were no distinct flowers, only stalks and they weren’t neatly formed, seeming to appear at random. Voldy didn’t care, though, because just seeing young Quirrell doing what he loved made his tummy feel a little better than before.

Even though he wasn’t doing anything spectacular, Quirrell was smiling widely, and even let out a few giggles here and there. Hearing them, as well as seeing Quirrell so happy, made Voldy feel much lighter inside. He noticed that his tummy no longer felt heavy, and his heartbeat didn’t hurt as much as it had just now. It was still racing, but it was comfortable. He knew it was because he was seeing Quirrell like he should be: happy. 

This was all ruined when somebody ran up to Quirrell so fast that they almost kicked him in the back. Quirrell gave a frightened gasp (which in turn made Voldy feel emptier inside) and desperately tried to destroy the flower stalks while trying to hide his wand. It was too late – the figure had already grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him backwards.

It was Quirrell’s father.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, young man?” he said in a threatening tone. Quirrell started trembling, his breathing becoming faster and faster. His father noticed the wand in his hand, and his eyes bulged. “Is that… what I think it is?”

“No! No, no, no, it’s just a stick!” Quirrell exclaimed fearfully as he squirmed in his father’s grasp. “I found it on the ground! I promise!”

Quirrell’s father pointed a finger at his face angrily. “Don’t- lie- to me, Quirinus,” he said, putting an extra emphasis on every word. He looked at the ground and just as Voldy thought his eyes couldn’t possibly get any wider, they did. “What are those?”

“What’s what?” Quirrell said while still trying to ease his father’s grip on his shirt.

SLAP!

“No!” Voldy yelled as he saw Quirrell receive a harsh blow to the face and fall to the ground. He crawled to where his best friend had landed, and saw the bruise on Quirrell’s cheek and the tears start forming in his eyes. Voldy now not only felt sorry for Quirrell, but also felt a hateful rage bubbling in his veins towards the father. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, boy!” Quirrell’s father shouted at his downed son. “You’ve been toying with your mother’s freaky ways, haven’t you?” Quirrell didn’t say anything – he only lay on the ground crying. His father kicked him in the side, making him scream in a way that pierced through Voldy’s soul. “Haven’t you?”

Voldy couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t watch Quirrell get hurt like this – he had to get out of there somehow. Before he could see Quirrell’s father lay a hand on him again, the scenery vanished a second time, and Voldy sighed in relief. He was afraid for what was about to come, though, so he braced himself for anything. 

Thankfully, he found himself in a more relaxed place this time. He was back inside the house, but instead of the little room, he was standing in a relatively small kitchen. The first person he saw was Quirrell’s mother, who was sitting at a table, her head in her hands. Quirrell sat next to her, his head low, and he was just looking at his lap. Though his face was barely visible, Voldy could definitely tell Quirrell had a black eye. A third figure was sitting against them, and Voldy almost immediately realized it was Dumbledore. His long hair and beard were still present, as well as his thick robes. What was different about him was that he had a worried expression that Voldy had never seen on his face before.

Quirrell’s mother said something to Dumbledore, but Voldy couldn’t hear anything but muffled noises. He had a look at Quirrell, understanding just now why the memory was so fuzzy. Quirrell was barely paying attention to what was happening around him, probably still traumatized after the obviously recent beatings. Quirrell’s mother and Dumbledore continued discussing whatever it was they were talking about, while Voldy just stood next to Quirrell. His tummy felt emptier and emptier with every second that passed because of how spaced out Quirrell looked, and he whimpered slightly when it began to hurt. Why did seeing Quirrell so miserable always make him feel so hollow inside? 

“Did you hear that, Quirinus?” Quirrell’s mother suddenly said, snapping Quirrell back into reality and Voldy out of his thoughts.

“Huh- wha?” Quirrell muttered, his throat a bit raspy.

“I was just telling your mother about what you can do if things get very drastic,” Dumbledore replied. He bent forward on the table, probably to highlight what he was going to say next. “Quirinus, I want you to promise both your mother and me that if anything remotely horrifying happens in this household, I want you to send red flares into the air. That way, I’ll know when to send help. Do you promise?”

Quirrell just stared at Dumbledore, and then looked over at his mother, who nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay,” Quirrell said, turning back to Dumbledore. “I promise.”

The memory got very fuzzy again, and Voldy wondered if Quirrell had actually understood anything Dumbledore had just said. He just sat there completely still, now looking downwards again. Voldy wasn’t sure what to make of all this. Why did the real Quirrell want to show him this memory if it was so fuzzy?

Soon enough, Dumbledore stood up and left. Voldy saw him, very hazily, wave goodbye to Quirrell before disapparating. After a few seconds, the memory became more solid, and Quirrell’s mother came into view. It was only now that Voldy really saw just how swollen and bruised her face was. She bent down beside her son and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” she asked, although Voldy couldn’t imagine why she did, since her son was so obviously not okay right now.

Quirrell slowly grabbed his mother’s hand and looked up. “Mommy, who was that man? And how does he know us?”

“That man’s name is Mister Dumbledore, dear,” Quirrell’s mother replied. She paused for a moment, shook her head and sighed. “And I guess he’s started noticing how awful I always look at work…”

With that last word, the scenery began fading away, and Voldy was again standing in a blurry space between the memories. He pondered over just how much further this could all go; how much more did Quirrell want to show him? Finally, the new memory started to form, and Voldy scanned his surroundings.

He was surprised to see that he was back in the little room, only now it was better lit, and Quirrell wasn’t alone in there. He was sitting at a table with his mother, and the two of them were making all sorts of flower decorations appear out of thin air. Roses were especially prominent, and Voldy saw that almost all of them came from Quirrell’s mother’s wand. They were probably her thing. Voldy approached them carefully, and heard them speak as they arranged the flowers into different shapes and patterns.

“Mommy?” Quirrell sounded like he did today – he was probably either eight or nine years old. “Why doesn’t daddy like our flowers? They’re so pretty and smell so nice.” It was odd not to hear Quirrell stutter, but there was definitely a sense of anxiety in his voice that Voldy recognized.

Quirrell’s mother chuckled softly. “I don’t know, Quirinus. I guess he just doesn’t see the beauty of them like we do. And besides,” she added as she made a wreath of roses form a heart shape, “he’s never liked our magic anyway.”

“Then why’s he still with us?” Quirrell asked. Voldy could tell that these were both questions that he had wanted to ask his mother for quite some time.

“Well, he does help provide for us,” his mother replied. “And I know he’s given us hard times, but you know he has his good side too. He just doesn’t like our magic, that’s all…”

Quirrell added a couple of lilies and violets into his mother’s wreath. “But he gets mad a lot too,” he whispered, as if he was afraid of what his mother would think of that.

“I know, honey,” his mother said and wrapped one arm around her son’s shoulders. “But he’s not here right now, so we can both relax.” She kissed him lovingly on the forehead before both of them continued taking turns arranging the wreath.

As Voldy kept watching the two, Voldy suddenly came to a realization. When he had first met Quirrell, he had said that roses were his favorite flowers. His mother’s signature flowers were roses. Voldy bit his lip as he remembered that Quirrell was an orphan, and that this memory seemed to be quite recent. His tummy sank once more (how much deeper could it go?) and he started looking around the room to make sure that this memory wasn’t recent enough to be something horrible or traumatic like the other two. 

Needless to say, his hopes were shattered when something banged against one of the cracked walls of the room, creating several more fractures in the process. Quirrell and his mother instantly turned their heads to the wall, the color in both of their faces starting to fade. There was another loud bang and more wood shattered off the wall. Quirrell’s mother stood up with her wand at the ready.

“Impossible,” she murmured. 

“Mommy? What’s going on?” Quirrell said, shaking a bit in his seat. 

Before his mother could say anything back, the wall came crashing down. Quirrell and his mother screamed as wood and dust scattered everywhere, and a figure came storming in, wielding some sort of bat. Despite not being part of the memory, Voldy backed up as far as he could when the figure – who he now saw was Quirrell’s father – inched further into the room. He was panting heavily, the madness glowing from his eyes as he glared at his wife who was still holding up her wand in defense.

“So… Thiss where you been all’s time?” he slurred. “A stinkin’ room ‘re you could hide from me?” He swung the bat in his hand, just barely missing the nearest wall. He then noticed Quirrell quivering at the table. “An’ whass this? My son’s makin’ flowers? Flowers?”

Quirrell’s mother was starting to breathe a little faster, obviously very scared, but still dared to move in front of her husband to prevent him from getting closer to their son. “Casimir, I want you to listen to me very carefully,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. “I don’t know how you found this room, and I don’t know what you intend to do with that bat, but I’ll tell you this. You will not go near our son, is that clear?”

The father – who Voldy now knew was named Casimir – kept glaring at his wife, the bat still in the air. “D’you honestly think you could hide from me forever?” he said, seemingly amusing himself. “Y’don’t get it, do you? How many times d’you think I‘ve seen you both suddenly disappear ‘nto thin air, huh? Y’think I’d just ignore it? Huh?” His voice was now frightfully loud and intimidating, and Voldy saw that both Quirrell and his mother winced. “An’ whass this about me not getting to see my son? My own son! My flesh and blood, woman!” 

He swung the bat again, this time actually hitting the nearest wall with such force that it came tumbling down just like the first one. Voldy braced himself even though he knew nothing could touch him, and heard that Quirrell had started crying now. Casimir swung his head in his son’s direction and pointed the bat at him. 

“What’ve you done to him! You’ve turned ‘im into a bloody sissy!” he shouted, veins throbbing in his forehead and neck. “An’ you’re makin’ ‘im do your stupid tricks too! Why I oughta—“

“You won’t do anything!” Quirrell’s mother screamed. She waved her wand, which caused Casimir to fall backwards. Voldy guessed she had been trying to Stupefy him, but it had almost no effect, for some reason. Casimir stood up, and for the first time, Voldy completely understood Quirrell and his mother’s fear of the man. His frown made his face look incredibly dark and threatening, his panting made him seem madder than he was, and the grunts he made eerily resembled the growls of a predator. Quirrell’s mother froze completely and didn’t even make a second attempt.

“Oh, you did not juss do that, woman,” he muttered before swinging the bat upwards with a scream, preparing for a severe blow. 

“NO!” Quirrell shouted desperately as he hopped off the table to do something. 

“Protego Totalum!” the mother suddenly cried, pointing her wand not at herself, but her son. She had just let go of the last syllable of the spell when the bat hit her in the head. Quirrell let out a long, piercing scream as his mother’s body tumbled to the floor. Voldy’s whole body was aching now, and he covered his eyes when he saw that Casimir was going for another blow. He could only hear the loud bangs and the disgusting cracks of each one, while Quirrell shrieked in horror in the background. 

Finally, the bangs stopped, but Quirrell was still screaming. Voldy dared to remove his hands from his face for a split second, but immediately wished he hadn’t. The entire room, which now resembled ruins more than a room, was covered in bloodstains and splatters. Quirrell’s mother lay dead on the floor, her face and body completely mangled from all the beatings. Voldy felt the need to throw up and looked away again, only to see that Casimir was approaching Quirrell now. 

“Use magic ‘n my house, will ya?” he growled, causing Quirrell to cry even more than before. “Hide it from me, will ya?”

Quirrell swallowed and then pointed his wand in the air, making countless red flares shoot out of hit. They all broke through the roof and exploded in the air. Voldy hoped with all his heart that what Dumbledore had said in the previous memory was true, that he would come to help, but didn’t dare to think about it even a second longer. Casimir was now too close to his son for comfort, and Voldy could hear that Quirrell was trying to speak some kind of incantation, pointing his wand to his father’s face.

“A- Av- Av- A- Ava…” was the only thing that came from his mouth. Whatever he was trying to say, it wouldn’t come out properly.

“You dare to use witchcraft on me, boy?” Casimir roared as he raised the bat once more. 

Quirrell just barely managed to dodge the blow, which smashed the table he had been sitting at. He dashed out of the room, and Voldy followed. His cries were much more prominent now, and that along with his very anxious breathing were making it very hard for him to move. Voldy had to watch him trip over his own feet a number of times, fall down at least twice, not to mention almost crashing into walls. By the time Quirrell reached a corner of the house, he had bruises all over his arms, the knees on his pants were ripped, and he had a swollen lip. He waved his wand in a circle and mumbled something, which made a little hole in the wall open up. He quickly crawled inside it, with Voldy following as fast as he could. Quirrell had only just sealed the hole again when Casimir was heard bellowing outside.

“I know you’re in ‘ere somewhere, Quirinus! C’m out an’ face me like the freak you are!”

Voldy watched as Quirrell curled up into a ball and bit his own arm. He sobbed silently as he bit harder and harder with each second, seemingly trying to keep himself from being too loud. Voldy had never wanted to comfort him as much as he did now. He wanted to let him know that he wasn’t alone, that there was someone there for him. He just wished there was something he could do. Why oh why did this have to be a memory? He could help!

BANG!

Quirrell gasped, and then bit even harder into his arm – he was beginning to bleed now. Voldy shot up as he realized that Casimir had probably seen his son crawl into the wall, and if he had been clever enough to figure out where the room had been, he was sure to know about the hole. 

“Quirinus! I know you’re in there!” Casimir roared and hit the wall again. “C’m out! Now!”

Voldy looked at Quirrell, and was shocked to see that he was actually moving towards the opening of the hole. “No, no, no, Quirrell!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing?” He bit his lip as Quirrell took a deep breath, waved his wand and opened the hole again, and crawled outside. There was something in his expression that made him look like he had given up; like he knew there was nothing he could do and that he couldn’t hide from his father forever. Voldy crawled out as well (while thinking how pointless hiding had been), and watched Quirrell stand up and look at his father. 

Casimir glared at his son, who was still shaking in terror, his eyes red and wet, and the bloody bite mark on his arm clearly visible. Father and son stared at each other for a couple of seconds before one of them spoke.

“So… This’s it, huh?” Casimir said in a jarringly calm tone. “I juss gotta kill the magic in my house.” He sighed and then raised the bat again. “Too bad. You coulda been a good son.”

Quirrell raised his wand again as his father prepared to swing the bat towards him. “Ava- A- Ava- Avada…”

“Stupefy!”

A red flash suddenly surrounded the room and Casimir fell down to the floor, knocked out. Quirrell gasped for air as he dropped to his knees and panted. Voldy turned to see a man run into the room, wand in hand, and dash towards the now completely frozen Quirrell. He recognized the long hair and beard immediately: it was Dumbledore.

“Remove this man at once!” he ordered somebody. More wizards came into the room to make sure Casimir was fully knocked out, and then levitated him to carry him off. “Report him to the muggle authorities if you must! I don’t want to see him near this child, even in this state!”

Voldy had never seen Dumbledore act like that, and was actually kind of scared of him. He watched him pick up the emotional wreck that was Quirinus Quirrell off the floor. The boy was utterly stunned and didn’t even seem to realize that there was a person holding him. His face was white as snow and his whole body was shaking terribly. Dumbledore waved his wand in front of Quirrell’s face, which made his eyes close and his body’s shivering stop. 

The moment Quirrell’s whole self had calmed down, the surroundings disappeared once more, and Voldy decided he had probably seen enough. He focused all his energy on getting back to reality, and suddenly found himself lifting his head out of the basin, mentally exhausted.


	5. Chapter 5

The room was silent. After everything he had seen, Voldy couldn’t even bring himself to talk. He instead sat down on Quirrell’s bed and took a moment to breathe. He just stared at the Pensieve, unwillingly replaying Quirrell’s memories in his head. They had been horrible to witness, and Voldy imagined that they had been even more horrible to live through. He glanced upwards and saw that both Quirrell and Dumbledore were still looking at him, just as they had been before he looked at the memories. For whatever reason, Voldy wouldn’t dare to look Quirrell right in the eyes. His tummy went on a rampage again, and his heartbeat got a little faster. The feelings were all much more prominent than before, probably because he had just witnessed extremely traumatic events in his best friend’s past.

Dumbledore approached the Pensieve and, with a wave of his wand, made it disappear – or teleport or something; Voldy wasn’t entirely sure. He then backed away slightly and let Quirrell slowly walk up to Voldy. Quirrell looked rather nervous, as if he was worried that Voldy would think less of him after seeing his memories. Dumbledore urged him to go on, so he sat down on the bed next to Voldy, who was still in quite a shock.

“Voldy, a- are you okay?” Quirrell said in the sweetest and gentlest tone. It was like he was trying to be careful not to be too loud or get under Voldy’s skin. Voldy’s first thought was to someday tell Quirrell that he didn’t need to worry about that so much. Then he decided to put that on hold and actually look at him – the fact that Voldy didn’t seem to be paying attention was probably what was worrying Quirrell right now.

Voldy looked up and as soon as the two boys’ eyes met, he instantly felt his cheeks get a little warmer. Quirrell looked so sincere and concerned but at the same time so sympathetic. The thought of Quirrell caring about him so much made it difficult for Voldy to hide a small smile that was beginning to form on his face. He nodded, still grinning. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He paused when he noticed that Quirrell saw through the obvious lie. “It’s just… It’s a lot to think about, you know?”

Quirrell chuckled softly. “Yeah, I kn- know what you mean,” he said. “I’m so- sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable or anything.”

That was such a silly thing to apologize for. As if having to go through all that hadn’t been uncomfortable (a definite understatement) for Quirrell himself to begin with! Voldy shook his head. “Don’t say you’re sorry, Quirrell. I think I’ll live, so it’s okay,” he said and smiled wider to make sure Quirrell understood.

A small, sweet grin appeared on Quirrell’s face, and he seemed relieved. Seeing Quirrell smile made Voldy feel the warmth from his cheeks spread across his face and move towards the rest of his body. He quickly glanced over to Dumbledore, who had made himself comfortable by the desk and was looking out the window. He seemed to be completely ignoring the two boys that were also present. Even if he wasn’t listening, Voldy still found it a bit awkward having him there, especially since right now he just wanted to talk to Quirrell alone. He smacked his lips to make Dumbledore notice him. The older wizard turned around in his seat and smiled at Voldy.

“Mister Dumbledore, sir,” Voldy began. “Uh, if it’s not too weird to ask, could you… I mean…” He hesitated. “Can I be alone with Quirrell?” Voldy’s cheeks got even hotter, and he was beginning to wonder when he would start sweating from all the heat. Was the sun really that strong today?

Dumbledore responded by chuckling a little before standing up from the desk. “Of course. You two are best friends, after all. It’s only natural that you would want to discuss things in private,” he said, looking at Voldy in a very odd way. It was as if he knew some other reason for why Voldy wanted to be alone with Quirrell but wouldn’t tell him. Weird.

With an understanding look, Dumbledore walked towards the door and then left the room. Voldy had no idea what he could possibly do to occupy himself (he hadn’t really thought that through), and decided not to aim his attention at Dumbledore, but to Quirrell. Sweet, innocent, amazing Quirrell who definitely had _not_ deserved what he had gone through in his short life. Voldy breathed deeply while thinking about where to begin. Where would be an appropriate place to start? Would Quirrell get more upset if he started talking about his memories?

“Hey, Voldy,” Quirrell suddenly said, snapping Voldy out of his thoughts. “Just so you kn- know, Dumbledore told me I should t- talk about all that stuff with someone.  I dunno if you wa- want to, but, um, that’s what he said.”

“We can talk about it, that’s okay,” Voldy said. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was very happy to hear that Dumbledore had encouraged Quirrell to discuss his memories. He was just so darn curious about all of them, but struggled with finding a way to start asking questions. For a moment, he was completely stumped, but then he decided to just start from the very beginning. “So, uh… how’d your parents meet, anyway?”

“Well, my mom said they f- first met at some kind of dance,” Quirrell replied. “They both lived in the same to- town, so that’s why they were both there. And, um, I- I don’t know anything else.” Quirrell was rubbing his arm nervously now, like he was actually sorry for not being able to answer Voldy’s question more thoroughly.

Voldy patted his friend on the back to let him know his answer was fine. “Don’t worry about it, buddy. I mean hey, you can’t know _everything_ , right?” he added on a lighthearted note, just to prevent the conversation from becoming too depressing too soon.

Quirrell smiled a small smile and nodded. “Yeah, I guess,” he said in his usual, genuine way, making Voldy’s tummy flutter. He focused on not getting distracted by it this time, and moved on to the next thing he was thinking about regarding the memories.

“But what about your, uh… your dad? What was his problem?” he asked, suddenly realizing that maybe this was a hard topic for Quirrell to talk about.

Sure enough, Quirrell became visibly more nervous than he had been just a few moments ago. “My d- dad?” Thinking about his father was obviously very hard for him, and for a moment, Voldy thought about changing the subject just to make sure Quirrell wouldn’t break down. For some reason, though, Quirrell kept his cool and continued. “He, um, didn’t really have a pr- problem.”

“What?” Voldy impulsively said, surprising Quirrell a little.

“Oh, well, I- I mean he had a problem with m- magic and stuff, but he wasn’t crazy. N- not like that,” Quirrell quickly added after noting the flaw in his previous statement.

“So why _did_ he have a problem with magic anyway?” Voldy asked. “Was he a muggle or what?”

Quirrell shook his head. “No, I d- don’t think he’d be so mad about magic if he was just a muggle,” he said. “No, he was a squ- squib. He didn’t like magic because he c- couldn’t do it himself, even if gr- grandma and grandpa were wizards. He h- hated everything about magic, and when he f- found out that mom was a witch, he started being all…” He stopped to think of how to describe his father, seemingly not sure what to say about him.

“Evil?” Voldy finished, hoping to come at least close to what Quirrell was pondering.

“Yeah, b- basically,” Quirrell said. He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. “He never really gave us a ch- chance. When he found out about m- mom and then me, he just… st- stopped caring about us. He’d always h- hit us and stuff if he saw us do anything, so we always t- tried to hide it from him. That’s why we made that r- room. Mom said it was our ‘sa- sanctuary’. ”

Voldy suddenly remembered something, and even though he didn’t want to see Quirrell suffer any more from thinking about his father, he wanted to know one more thing about the man. “Say, there was this one point when he said ‘they’ look badly at magic. Who’s ‘they’?”

“Oh, that,” Quirrell said, his voice lowering a bit. Voldy’s tummy immediately tightened. Was he upsetting him too much? “Dad was in this c- cult or something that r- really, really hated magic. He was always in it, even before he met mom, so wh- when he found out she was a witch, he was really embarrassed. All because of that st- stupid group.”

The hurt in Quirrell’s tone was an obvious indication that it was becoming very hard for him to answer all of Voldy’s questions. Still, he still hadn’t told Voldy to stop talking about the memories, so Voldy decided that it was okay to keep going for at least a little while longer. It pained him like nothing he had ever felt (especially in his tummy area, which was beginning to sting a lot), but he still wanted to keep going, at least until Quirrell stopped him. He was done asking about the father, so to try and make Quirrell feel less down, he asked about the mother.

“What about your mom?” he asked. When Quirrell looked at him in a way that seemed to say: _what about my mom_ _,_ he decided to clarify. “I mean, uh, what was she like?” He bit his lip – hopefully this would make Quirrell feel better and not make him sadder.

After hearing the question, Quirrell looked up in the air and sighed. “Mom was… perfect,” he said dreamily. “She was nice, k- kind, gentle, an amazing witch, and always th- there for me.” He looked back at Voldy. “I l- loved her, Voldy. I still do…”

Voldy wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He had never known his own mother, so he knew he would never be able to fully understand Quirrell’s connection with his. There was also that word, _love_ , and he didn’t quite know what it meant. He guessed that Quirrell was probably just underlining the fact that he and his mother shared a special bond or something.

“I just… I just w- wish she didn’t care for my d- dad,” Quirrell continued. “I think that’s why she c- couldn’t hurt him that night.”

“What do you mean?” Voldy asked. “She did hurt him, sorta,” he added with a shrug.

“Yeah, but the spell didn’t wo- work right,” Quirrell said. “He was supposed to g- get slammed against a wall or kn- knocked out, but there wasn’t a scratch on him. I didn’t know why at first, because my mom was a g- great witch. Then Dumbledore explained it, and now I h- hate my dad even more.”

“Why’s that? What did Dumbledore tell you?” Voldy asked, his curiosity only growing as Quirrell kept talking.

“Well, my mom used to be a c- clean-up person at this helping place Dumbledore works at, and he t- told me that when she met my dad, she was really in love with him. She told Dumbledore she’d never hu- hurt him.” Quirrell frowned. “Dumbledore thinks she accidentally c- cursed herself or something when she said it, so she really _could_ never hurt him. I don’t th- think that’s the whole deal, though.”

“What do you think happened?” Voldy asked. He was quite impressed with Quirrell; he still hadn’t shown any signs of giving up discussing all of this just yet.

“My dad br- broke her,” Quirrell said, a look of malice in his face Voldy had never seen before, and it took him aback slightly. Quirrell clearly loathed his father. “Ever since he st- started hitting her, she couldn’t do her magic right. She just… lost all h- hope in herself. That’s why her sp- spell didn’t hurt him that night. She didn’t think she could.”

Quirrell was silent now, having said everything he wanted to. Voldy examined his face and noticed that he was definitely holding something back. He wasn’t sure if it was sadness or more hatred, but something was gnawing at him. Voldy inched a little closer to his friend, wondering where to go from there in their conversation. He was just about to think of something to say when Quirrell suddenly looked right into his eyes.

“V- Voldy, I have to show you something,” he said, sounding very determined.

“Do I have to go look into the Pensieve again?” Voldy asked skeptically. “Because I don’t think I can watch any more of your—”

“N- no, it’s not that,” Quirrell interrupted. “It’s something I’ve been h- hiding from you for a while, b- because I thought you would judge me for it.” He paused a bit. “B- but now you’ve seen what happened, so I just g- gotta show you this.”

Voldy nodded, not sure what to expect. What on earth was Quirrell talking about? Was this going to be another major confession? Did Voldy have to sit through more details of Quirrell’s traumatic past? Voldy’s assumptions were all proven false when the only thing that Quirrell did was lift up his left sleeve to reveal a circular scar on his arm. Voldy gasped as he stared at it, and realized that he had never seen Quirrell wear short-sleeved shirts before. This was the reason.

The skin around the scar was somehow still red and chipped, even after all this time, and the dots forming the circle were deep and dark. _Tooth marks_ , Voldy thought. He slowly lifted his own arms to take Quirrell’s in his hands and examine the scar some more. Quirrell didn’t mind, but did look down in embarrassment, it seemed.

“It- it still sorta hurts when I t- touch it,” he said, almost in a whisper. Voldy instantly pulled his hands away from the scar, not wanting to cause his friend pain. “But I had to do it. Otherwise I would’ve sc- screamed and he would’ve fo- found me sooner.”

Voldy knew perfectly well who Quirrell was referring to, but that was the last thing on his mind right now. He was absolutely astounded by the fact that Quirrell had been able to hide this from him for so long. He could feel his tummy drop further the more he looked at the scar. “This… this is awful!” was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

Quirrell tried to hide his face with his other hand as he spoke. “It- it’s not so bad,” he said, still in a very low voice. Voldy noticed that his eyes were becoming glossier. “Besides, it hurts more on the inside. ‘Cause- ‘cause even if it makes me ha- happy when I think about her, which is what Du- Dumbledore wants me to do, sometimes my t- tummy hurts a lot and I get these p- pains in my chest and start crying and…”

His voice gave up at that point, and Voldy watched as Quirrell completely broke down and cried. Voldy’s body felt utterly empty now, and the warmth in his face began spreading some more. He hadn’t seen Quirrell this miserable in quite some time, so it pained him more than he could have imagined. He had no idea what to do now, but he knew he had to do something for his best friend.

“Voldy…” Quirrell managed to say between his sobs. “I- I miss her so m- _much_!”

The pain and sorrow coming from that last word was too much for Voldy to handle. He didn’t know what compelled him to do it, but it was the only thing he could think of: in a matter of seconds, he threw his arms around Quirrell’s neck and locked him in a tight embrace. He could actually hear his own heartbeat now, and the heat in his body was starting to get overwhelming, but he didn’t care about that right now. All the mattered was that the two of them were this close.

Voldy had never done anything like this before, so he didn’t know if he was even doing things right, but Quirrell didn’t say anything. He just wrapped his own arms around Voldy and hugged him back even tighter as he continued to cry into Voldy’s shoulder. Voldy himself began rubbing Quirrell’s back to let him know that he was there for him. The empty feeling in his tummy was slowly disappearing as it started fluttering once more.

“It- it’s gonna be okay, buddy,” he felt he needed to say. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Quirrell nuzzled his face into Voldy’s shoulder (which in turn made his tummy feel much, much lighter) and sniffled. “Pr- promise…?” he whispered.

“I promise,” Voldy replied. He suddenly felt an unfamiliar sting in his eyes and throat and realized that he was starting to tear up as well. He gasped for air when the lump in his throat made it difficult for him to breathe. Having never felt this way before, he was shocked when he felt the tears trickle down his cheek. He choked on a sob and proceeded to cry into Quirrell’s shoulder. “You have me now,” he said, surprised to hear his own voice so cracked. “You’ll never be alone again. I- I promise.”

The two of them stayed like that for the longest time, just hugging each other and letting all their tears out. Voldy didn’t even care if Dumbledore had planned to talk to Quirrell some more. He simply did not want to let Quirrell go, ever. Not now, when he knew about his horrible past. Not now, when he had seen him sadder than ever before. And especially not _now_ , when he had learned just how good it felt to hug his very best friend like this.

Gradually, they both calmed down, their loud sobs becoming only soft sniffles. Quirrell loosened his hold on Voldy to dry his eyes. “I’m so g- glad you’re my friend, Voldy,” he whispered.

Voldy’s tummy jumped, and despite the fact that he was still half-crying, he managed a smile as well. “Me too, Quirrell,” he said and sniffled. He really was, too.

Quirrell’s smile widened. He then looked down a bit and took Voldy’s hand in his own. Voldy wasn’t sure what he was up to, but the touch did send his whole body fluttering. He felt light and warm, and didn’t want Quirrell to let go any time soon. “Will you always be my fr- friend?” Quirrell asked, tightening his grip on Voldy’s hand as if he thought he would run away or something.

“Of course I will!” Voldy exclaimed – it seemed perfectly obvious. He felt the need to hug Quirrell again just to prove his point. “You’re my best, best friend, Quirrell,” he said, caressing Quirrell’s back again, “and I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thank you,” Quirrell said softly and hugged Voldy back.

Nothing more was said. The two friends sat there in silent agreement that they would be best friends forever. They would never stop caring for each other no matter what. Voldy wouldn’t have it any other way – even if his body felt so light and fluttery that it seemed like he would start floating at any time. After a couple of seconds, they parted again, both smiling widely at each other.

Suddenly, Voldy heard the door to Quirrell’s room open and in walked Mister Dumbledore. He glanced at the two friends and smirked at them, making Voldy wonder for a moment if he had been listening the whole time. His face felt a little warmer at that thought, possibly because then Dumbledore would have heard every little confession that had been uttered, and it made him feel awkward, for some reason. Quirrell, however, immediately started drying his eyes as Dumbledore approached the bed, seemingly trying to cover up the fact that he had been crying.

“M- Mister Dumbledore, sir,” he said and coughed when he realized how raspy his voice still was. “You’re b- back.”

“Indeed, and I see the two of you have shared your thoughts,” Dumbledore replied simply. He was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Now, Quirinus, you know we still have a few things to discuss, so I was wondering – if it’s alright with you, of course – if we could continue our session.”

“Oh, um…” Quirrell hesitated and looked at Voldy, who was still trying to figure out why he still felt so strange. “I- I dunno. Is it okay with you, Voldy?”

“Huh, wha?” Voldy slurred before realizing what Quirrell was talking about. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’ll just, uh, go to my room,” he said, pointing at the door and grinning sheepishly. “You’ll come by later, right?” he directed at Quirrell, who nodded.

“S- sure.”

“Right, so…” Voldy hopped off the bed, wobbling slightly as his feet hit the ground, like there were no muscles left in his legs. Strange. He ignored it for now and looked back at Quirrell and nodded, hoping to get his _See-You-Soon_ message across with it. “Later.”

He hurriedly walked passed Dumbledore, not even wanting to share the room with the older wizard a second longer, and dashed out of the room. When out in the hallway, Voldy placed a hand on his chest to feel his now racing heartbeat. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down before steadily walking downstairs towards his own room.

This was all beginning to worry him. Something strange was going on with his body but he didn’t know what it was. All this warmth was making him feel sort of lightheaded, and the fuzziness in his tummy stung more than ever. He wrapped his arms around himself to hopefully get the fluttering to stop, but to no avail. Why in the world did hanging out with Quirrell make him feel this way?

Actually, why did _anything_ related to Quirrell make him feel this way? Sometimes, Voldy didn’t even need to be around him in order to flare up all these different emotions; sometimes, just thinking about Quirrell was enough to make him feel so light and bright. Whether it was a happy thought or a memory of Quirrell being sad, the mere thoughts sent his heart beating and his hands and knees shaking.

When Voldy reached his own room, he made a mental note to extensively research every bit of these symptoms to find out what was wrong with him. And even if all else failed, he could always ask Quirrell about it…


	6. Chapter 6

_Okay, now it‘s just getting stupid,_ Voldy thought as he, for the umpteenth time, woke up in the middle of the night bathed in sweat. His head was pounding and he was breathing heavily. He sat up in his bed and dried his face with the edge of the sheets that had barely covered him during his sleep. When done, he fell down on his back again and stared at the ceiling.

Voldy had lost count on how many times this had happened to him, and was actually getting pretty annoyed with it by now. He had tried to do loads of things to prevent this from happening: opening the window up completely; not shutting the curtains in the evening, even though he found it uncomfortable; getting thinner sheets; sleeping only in his underwear, an even more uncomfortable way to solve things; and even doing all those things at once. Nothing ever seemed to work, and he _still_ found himself waking up extremely hot all the time.

Why was this happening to him? Why hadn’t he ever felt like this before? Did it have something to do with having a friend for the first time? If so, did everybody who made friends go through with this? Was Quirrell going through the same thing without telling Voldy about it?

Voldy rubbed his eyes and groaned. All this thinking and all this heat was making it difficult for him to go to sleep again. He instead hopped out of bed, reached for his wand, bent down on the floor to reach his old muggle radio, and tapped it with his wand. Like always, it instantly began tuning itself, looking for a signal that could come through. While he waited, Voldy went back into bed and lay down, taking the radio with him. After a few seconds of buzz and static, the radio button came to a halt and Voldy could hear the old-fashioned muggle music he adored so much.

The song playing wasn’t anything he could have danced to – it was too smooth – so instead, Voldy closed his eyes and let his ears and mind grasp everything about it, letting it calm him down a bit. The woman’s voice was very soft and clean and not too loud, the woodwind instruments ( _saxophones? Clarinets?_ _I think that’s what they’re called…_ ) flowed smoothly with the rhythm, and the strings in the background gave the song as a whole a very dreamy feel. Voldy smiled and sighed. This song was very soothing.

As the song came to a close, Voldy could feel his body go back to normal. He didn’t feel nearly as hot, his heartbeat had slowed down, and his head wasn’t pounding anymore. He rolled over to his side to turn the radio off, but just when he was about to, he remembered what he had been dreaming before he woke up just now. His eyes opened wide as he came to the realization that it had, at some point, been about Quirrell.

Voldy frowned and slapped his own forehead. Darn it! Why did it always have to be Quirrell? Why did everything that involved Quirrell make him feel so weird? It clearly wasn’t enough to be with him or to think about him. No, now he had to feel this way because he was _dreaming_ about him too! Even in his sleep, Voldy wasn’t safe from all those weird and unfamiliar feelings. He slumped down on his pillow face first and groaned again, not even caring about the music anymore.

That was it. First thing in the morning, he was going to the library, and he was _going_ to find out what was going on!

\---

Having paced in front of the library door for probably an hour, Voldy was thrilled when he heard footsteps coming from down the hall. Finally the librarian, Mrs. Craig, was here to open it up. She almost stopped in her tracks when she saw Voldy – probably because it was so early in the morning and he shouldn’t even be awake, but also because she probably hadn’t expected _him_ of all people to be there. She didn’t speak when she unlocked the library door, but kept on looking at Voldy with her surprised yet suspicious expression, like she was telling him that she would be watching him. As if he was up to anything; he just wanted to know what was wrong with him!

The moment Mrs. Craig opened the door, Voldy dashed inside, picked up his wand and made a light appear on its end to be able to navigate himself through the place. He didn’t want to wait for the librarian to light the candles; he had to start looking for answers _now_.

His first thought was to go check on the healing and health books. Those were way in the back in the adult section (since none of the kids ever wanted to read that stuff, and they were mostly there in case something drastic happened), so Voldy had to walk a little before reaching them. He passed numerous shelves and sections, most of which consisted of children’s books, fantasies, or real-life tales. There was even a section of muggle books nobody ever touched, which made Voldy wonder why it was even there. He didn’t care about that now, though. Right now, he had to get to the back of the library to maybe finally find the answer to his problems.

Voldy’s dashing came to a halt when he saw the sign hanging from the air that said _Health/Healing_ in big, bold letters. This was definitely the place. Voldy used his wand to browse through the titles, each sounding more boring than the next: _Fantastic Fatigue_ , _Motion Sickness and How to Avoid It_ , _Why Muggles Should Not Heal_ , and so on. They almost made him feel tired again – almost.

After all the times coming here in search for answers, he sort of knew where to look by now, and that would be in the Psychology section. He wasn’t sure why, but those seemed to be the only books that somewhat had his symptoms nailed down, some more vague than others, but they were still there. Voldy looked up the large shelves to look for a suitable title, and found a few that caught his interest: _Critical Mental Conditions, Stress and Anxiety_ , and a rather thick one called _When Your Thoughts Aren’t Healthy Anymore_. With a wave of his wand, he made all of them levitate from the shelves and into his arms, and then proceeded to carry them to the nearest table to set them down.

He had never given himself that much time to actually read through any of the books he had seen so far, but this time, he was determined to try and go through at least one chapter without getting too bored – which was actually hard for him to do because these formal textbooks were very difficult to read. He opened the first book and began scanning the first few chapters, one boring, text-crammed page after the other, always searching for words like ‘heat’, ‘warmth’, ‘shivers’, or anything having to do with stomach troubles. The only thing close to any of those symptoms in this book was something called ‘rage’, and Voldy was pretty sure that wasn’t the right case, so he flipped the book closed and turned to the next one.

_Stress and Anxiety_ didn’t have anything about Voldy’s symptoms either, but it was sort of an interesting read because it described Quirrell very, very well. Despite only understanding very few phrases (those Healers really didn’t spare the fancy words!), Voldy sunk into the reading completely, taking in every fact and possible quirks about his best friend that he knew about. Sudden change of moods, feeling sad or scared all the time, self-harming, the tendency to hide from or try to forget traumatic events; these were all things Voldy had seen Quirrell do, and it was pretty strange to read about all of this in such a formal manner. When he started to feel his tummy flutter and his face get warmer again, Voldy shook his head and slammed the book shut to remind himself to focus. This wasn’t about Quirrell. Well, yeah, it was, sort of, but this was about finding Voldy’s symptoms, not Quirrell’s.

Despite not having found anything yet, and only having a doorstopper of a book by his side, Voldy turned to _When Your Thoughts Aren’t Healthy Anymore_. He bit his lip when he opened it, expecting to immediately be greeted by a wall of text, but was relieved to see that the letters in the book were relatively large compared to all the other books he had looked at. He flipped through the first few pages to get an idea of how it was structured, and thanked the author for including pictures to accompany the text. That way, maybe Voldy would get a better idea of how the things described in this book worked, even if it wouldn’t help him much.

After deciding that it would be worth it to at least skim the chapters, Voldy started reading. The author didn’t waste any time introducing the subject they were talking about, probably assuming that anybody who would pick up this book would know what they were looking for. It helped Voldy get a good idea of what it was all about.

He found himself reading about all sorts of weird stuff like delusions, hallucinations, breakdowns and personal stories about all of them. The pictures illustrated everything perfectly (although some were a bit more graphic than others) and glued it all very well together. It all really drew him in, and before he knew it, he had read almost a quarter of the book without getting bored.

As he flipped the final page in the chapter he was reading to keep going to the next, his eyes widened at the chapter title: _When Love Isn’t Healthy_. There was that word again, _love_ , and Voldy hesitated a bit before continuing. The last time he had heard that word, it had sounded very genuine and real, but this book made it sound like it was something abnormal. Voldy decided to keep on reading; maybe it would answer some of his questions, though he doubted it.

The chapter was mainly about something called ‘obsessions’ and how they are not love. Voldy also kept seeing the word ‘stalking’ and pictures of people creeping behind other people over and over again. _Stalking is not love_ , one of the captions said, which didn’t enlighten Voldy in the least about what either word meant.

Finally, he gave up on the book, and decided that it wouldn’t help him at all, even if it was very interesting (especially the hallucination part. That had given him a few laughs). He sighed and waved his wand, making all three books float back to their original places in the shelves. He was just about to go looking for more titles when he got an idea. It would be very embarrassing, especially since he still hadn’t really told anyone about all of his new emotions yet, but at this point, he was pretty desperate. He stood up from the table and rushed towards Mrs. Craig’s desk. It didn’t take him long to get there, but even so, she was able to grab the first word.

“Voldemort, what on earth is going on with you?” she said, her tone sounding both curious and mean-spirited at the same time. Voldy opened his mouth to say something back, but she didn’t give him a chance to reply. “This behavior is quite peculiar, if you ask me. Care to tell me why you’re suddenly so interested in books that you wait in front of the library before it opens?”

Voldy rolled his eyes at how weird she sounded using all those funny words, but shook it off quickly as he tried to find the right words to start asking questions. “Uh, well, it’s just that I’ve been looking for something,” he said plainly. Mrs. Craig raised her eyebrows and Voldy cleared his throat. “Mrs. Craig, you’re a smart lady, right?” he added to hopefully get to her good side.

She chuckled. “Well, I don’t like to brag, but yes. Yes I am,” she said in a very proud way, almost as if to flatter herself; Voldy had to focus on not rolling his eyes again.

“Sooo…” he dragged to make her more interested in the subject, “I was wondering if you could help me out a little.”

Mrs. Craig nodded, a pleased grin still present on her face, and giggled slightly. “I’ll do what I can.”

Voldy then took a deep breath and started telling the librarian all about his symptoms. He didn’t tell her the cause of them, of course, because that would just make the situation more awkward. He did tell her about the heat attacks, tummy aches, and shaking, though, and as he went on, the librarian kept nodding understandingly. When he was finally done talking, Voldy was very relieved that he had told somebody about this, even if it was just Mrs. Craig.

The librarian kept nodding, saying things like “Hmm” and “I see…” to herself more than Voldy, it seemed. She then looked Voldy straight in the eyes and simply asked: “Voldemort, has it occurred to you that you might have an allergy?”

“A what, now?” Voldy said, completely confused. What was the talking about?

“An allergy,” Mrs. Craig repeated. “It’s when your immune system is… ugh, how do I explain this to a nine-year-old…” Voldy frowned at that statement; surely he was smart enough to know what was coming! “Basically, it’s when your body is too sensitive to something, and thus begins trying to fight back what’s making it weak, showing all kinds of different symptoms. Some are more obvious or painful than others, and some are barely noticeable. The main point is that if one is allergic to something, they should avoid that thing at all costs.”

Voldy swallowed. This allergy stuff didn’t sound good at all. He had always had his doubts about whether or not Mrs. Craig was actually intelligent, but she sure sounded like she knew what she was talking about. “So you’re saying that I feel so weird all the time because I’m allergic to something?”

“It’s definitely a possibility,” Mrs. Craig replied. “All your symptoms sound like they could be a part of an allergy. But just to be sure, I’d visit the nurse if I were you.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” Voldy simply said as he started walking out of the library.

“Any time, dear boy,” said Mrs. Craig. “And just remember that if you have questions about anything regarding informational things, I’ll be more than happy to answer them for you.”

Voldy rolled his eyes once more, glad that the librarian couldn’t see his face now. She sounded so pretentious using all those fancy words all the time. He snapped out of his thoughts when he stepped out of the library and realized that he had spent almost three hours in there, meaning that most if not all the other kids must have woken up by now. He fastened his pace to avoid having to look at anybody on his way to the nurse.

Having a nurse’s office in an orphanage had always baffled Voldy a bit, seeing as how there was barely any need for a nurse anyway, but now he was very glad she was there. If he really did have an allergy, then his whole life would be a serious problem, because if what Mrs. Craig had just told him was true, he would have to avoid Quirrell forever.

Voldy stopped in his tracks, his eyes open wide. Oh no, he would _never_ be able to do that! Quirrell was his best friend, his _only_ friend, so not being able to be around him would mean that Quirrell would be alone again. Actually, both of them would be alone again. Voldy’s entire body instantly felt very hollow at the mere thought of all this and sprinted towards the nurse’s office, now not even caring if somebody got in his way or looked at him strangely. He had to make sure that Mrs. Craig was wrong.

He ran past numerous rooms and hallways, his breathing getting faster with each step, although he wasn’t sure if it was because of the running or because of the supposed allergy. He skidded to a halt in front of the door to the nurse’s office. Thankfully, there was no line (possibly because it was still kind of early in the morning), so Voldy knocked on the door, hoping that the nurse was there. He waited anxiously for any sort of reply for a few seconds, and then heard footsteps coming from inside. The door opened and revealed the plump nurse, who smiled curiously when she saw who had knocked.

“Oh, hello. Can I help you?” she said, her voice much more polite than any of the other staff members Voldy had talked to at the orphanage.

“Yes, I need an allergy test _now_!” Voldy hurriedly exclaimed, surprising even himself with his anxiety.

The nurse was taken aback slightly and looked at Voldy with a puzzled expression. “I’m sorry?”

Voldy took a moment to breathe, feeling his face get warmer. “I just need to know if I’m allergic to… something,” he said. He couldn’t just say ‘to my best friend’ – that would sound way too weird.

Still looking a little puzzled, the nurse placed a hand on Voldy’s shoulder and led him into her office. “Why don’t you come inside and tell me more?” she said calmly.

The office was very tranquil, especially since the walls weren’t painted in the same cold colors as the rest of the orphanage. There was a bench beside one of the walls, a sink to the left of it, and a desk on the other side of the office. Really, it could have been any other room in the orphanage, if not for the size and stillness of it all, and the medicine cabinet beside the desk. The nurse closed the door behind her as Voldy continued to stare blankly at his surroundings, amazed by how much it had calmed him to just walk into the place. He then eyed a flask on the nurse’s desk and grinned. _Calming Draught,_ he thought. _Should’ve figured._

He snapped out of his thoughts when the nurse patted his shoulder, and looked at her. She was still smiling sweetly. “Why don’t you have a seat over there,” she said, pointing at the bench. Voldy nodded and climbed on top of it, hoping to be able to get his test done sooner than later.

To his surprise, the nurse didn’t immediately go to the medicine cabinet to start testing him, but instead positioned herself in front of him with a notepad and a quill. Voldy raised an eyebrow. What was she up to?

“Now, are you sitting comfortably?” she asked. Voldy nodded, still completely confused. “Good. Now, Voldemort, is it?” Voldy nodded again, “I want you to tell me why exactly you want an allergy test.”

Voldy swallowed. He couldn’t tell her exactly why, not yet at least. “Uh, because, well, I was just talking to Mrs. Craig about stuff and she said I probably have allergies and I just wanna make sure,” he said very fast.

The nurse let out a small laugh, making Voldy develop a curious expression. “Oh, I don’t think you should take everything Mrs. Craig says seriously, my dear,” she said while she wrote something down on her notepad. “Between you and me, I think she believes she’s a lot smarter than she actually is,” she added and winked, as if to tell Voldy that she shouldn’t really be saying that about a colleague.

Voldy grinned a little, feeling a bit more comfortable around the nurse than before – or maybe it was just the Calming Draught kicking in. He quickly snapped out of it when he remembered why he was there in the first place. “But- but she was sorta right. I mean, just because she’s not _that_ smart doesn’t mean she’s stupid, right?” he said.

“Sort of right about what?” the nurse asked, now looking straight at Voldy.

“About my, uh, condition,” Voldy replied sheepishly, feeling his cheeks heat up again.

“And what would your condition be, if I may ask?” the nurse asked, and then added: “Mind you, you can tell me anything. I’m bound to secrecy; whatever you tell me, I won’t tell anybody else.”

Having learned that, Voldy started to reconsider not telling the nurse about the real reason he was there. He repositioned himself on the bench, and awkwardly started rubbing his shoulder. He took a deep breath, and decided to let it all out. “Okay, so I have this friend I really like hanging out with, because he’s cool and all,” he began, feeling a little sting in his tummy. “But lately, I’ve been feeling really weird around him.”

“How so?” the nurse asked, now back to writing on her notepad.

“Well, uh, my tummy always feels pretty bad,” Voldy continued, automatically touching his tummy while he spoke. “And then my heart beats faster, and- and my face gets warmer, and my hands won’t stop shaking, and sometimes- sometimes I can’t breathe and…” He trailed off, noticing a now familiar sting in his throat. He was tearing up again. As he talked, he noticed that he was feeling more and more hysterical about all of this, and decided to just let it all out in one cry: “And now I’m really, really scared because I don’t know what’s going on or why my body’s acting all weird!” He squinted and bit his lip to keep himself from sobbing.

“Oh, my dear boy…” the nurse said, now reaching to comfort Voldy as he struggled to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to escape from his eyes.

Voldy sniffled loudly, and with his remaining energy, he bellowed out the one thing that had been on his mind since the librarian had brought it up: “I don’t wanna be allergic to Quirrell!”

He didn’t even care that he had said Quirrell’s name now. He just wanted the nurse to know what was bothering him so she would give him that darn allergy test already. Shockingly, she still didn’t rush to get her equipment, and instead just sat beside Voldy with an arm around his shoulders and tried to calm him down. Whether it was her presence or the Calming Draught, Voldy didn’t know, but he was quick to recover after that confession. He took a few breaths to make sure he had stopped crying and then cleared his throat. He was just about to think of something to say when the nurse started talking.

“It’s alright, dear, you’re perfectly fine,” she said. “You have nothing to worry about. These ‘symptoms’ are in no way connected to allergies of any kind.”

Voldy could feel his heart racing again – out of excitement, of course. “Wait- what? It’s not?” he said and rubbed his eyes.

“Oh no, not at all,” the nurse replied, now finally getting off the bench to tend to her notebook again. “If anything, these are signs of nervousness. Have you ever actually mentioned this to your friend?”

“No, not really,” Voldy said, feeling rather stupid about having not done that yet. “I didn’t know what was wrong with me, so I wasn’t sure I should.”

“Well, if he truly is your friend, then I’m sure he’ll understand that your nerves are just playing tricks on you,” the nurse said with a smile. “Is he by any chance your first very close friend?”

How did she know that? “Uh, yeah, kinda,” Voldy replied awkwardly.

The nurse chuckled. “Well there it is, then. You’re just unfamiliar with how to act around another person you care about, so naturally, your body is adjusting to all that. You don’t have to be worried about allergies or anything like that. Now, when you start sneezing or itching when you’re around him, that’s when you’ll need an allergy test. But for now, just tell him what you told me. I’m sure you’ll get over it soon.”

Voldy wasn’t sure what to say to that. Sure, it sounded very easy when she put it like that, but to him, it was easier said than done. Then again, the last time he and Quirrell had shared something personal, Quirrell had really taken the cake with his abusive past, so maybe it wouldn’t be so hard in comparison. And besides, they had probably reached a point in their friendship where it would be okay to say something like this.

“Now, was there anything else?” the nurse suddenly asked, snapping Voldy back to reality.

“Wha? Oh, uh, no thanks, that was it,” he said, hopped off the bench and walked towards the door. He stopped when he touched the handle and turned back to the nurse, smiling. “Thanks,” was all he could think of.

“Any time,” the nurse said and nodded politely before urging him to go and find his friend.

Voldy dashed out of the room and made his way towards the backyard once more. His newfound inspiration made him feel more confident than before, and he was sure that he would be able to pull this off. When he reached the backyard, he instantly began looking for Quirrell’s brown head, or at least his signature flower bed. Naturally, Quirrell was sitting in the friends’ usual meeting spot, so finding him was fairly easy, and Voldy instantly ran towards him. His tummy fluttered a bit, but he didn’t want to think about that right now. He jumped into the air and landed right next to Quirrell, who jumped and gasped.

“V- Voldy!” he exclaimed as Voldy made himself comfortable on the ground. “You sc- scared me!”

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to,” said Voldy and patted Quirrell on the back.

Quirrell smiled at the touch, clearly not able to stay mad for much longer. “Aw, it’s okay. I’m just g- glad you’re here. I d- didn’t think you’d show up today.”

Voldy’s tummy dropped a bit at hearing Quirrell say that. He really doubted that he would meet him? “Well, duh, I promised you’d never be alone, remember?” he assured his friend playfully, although every word was true.

“So wh- what’s up?” Quirrell asked, now looking much more cheerful than just a few moments ago.

Voldy wasn’t sure to begin, and had a look around. As always, the backyard was full of kids, but they were all pretty occupied, so he wasn’t that worried about anybody eavesdropping on them. He knew he could never be too careful, though, so he inched a bit closer to Quirrell (followed, of course, by more stomach fluttering and a faster heartbeat) and spoke in a low voice. “Can I be honest with you?”

Quirrell came closer, a curious look on his face. “Of course you can. We’re b- best friends,” he said, his voice lowered as well, like he knew things were about to get a little serious.

“Right, right,” Voldy said, shaking his head at how stupid that question had been. “Well, I’ve been talking about this all day and I just gotta mention it to you too, okay?”

“Okay,” Quirrell whispered, now looking more excited than curious.

“See, I dunno if you’re good at this kind of stuff, but I really want you to know about this. So… Here goes,” Voldy said and prepared to launch. “Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, my heart starts beating really, really fast, and my tummy hurts, and I feel all warm and stuff.” He paused to let the sentence sink in, feeling everything he had just mentioned come right back in his body. He shook his head to bring back his focus, and decided to ask Quirrell what had been haunting him for quite some time. “Do you… Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”

Quirrell didn’t reply, but just stared at Voldy’s face. Voldy didn’t say anything else either, and just stared back, feeling his cheeks burn up once more. Did Quirrell notice it? Was that why he was staring at him like that? Voldy’s tummy jumped at that thought. What would Quirrell think if he could see how hot Voldy’s face was getting?

Before Voldy could even begin to think about answering those questions, Quirrell placed a hand on his forehead. The moment Quirrell’s hand touched Voldy’s skin, Voldy could feel his entire face heat up rapidly – more so than ever before. It was as if Quirrell was sending heat vibes all over Voldy’s body with that one touch, not to mention how much it made his tummy turn. For a moment, Voldy felt like his intestines were ready to learn to fly or something, and he could hear his heartbeat pound in his ears. _Please don’t let it actually be allergies…_ he thought as he squinted.

After what felt like forever, Quirrell took his hand back and, to Voldy’s surprise, started laughing. Voldy’s tummy dropped completely and he just looked down on the ground. Quirrell _did_ find this funny. Voldy was just about to stand up and leave when Quirrell spoke again, still grinning wide.

“Of c- course there’s nothing wrong with you, silly!” he said chuckling. “You just have a f- fever, that’s all!”

Voldy looked up at his friend, his mind spinning. “Wh- What?”

“You don’t have to w- worry about anything, Voldy,” Quirrell continued, still grinning. “Is that really what’s been up- upsetting you?”

Voldy nodded shyly, now feeling a little less bummed out. “Uh-huh. So, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with me?”

“Nooo, Voldy. It’s ju- just a fever! You’ll be fine,” Quirrell assured Voldy and patted him on the back. “Now c- come on. It’s a- almost time for lunch.”

Quirrell stood up, grabbed Voldy’s hand and tugged him along. While they ran towards the cafeteria, all Voldy could think about was what Quirrell had said just now. He had never heard that word before, _fever_ , but if Quirrell said it was nothing to worry about, then he wasn’t going to make a bigger deal out of it.

The two boys went through the rest of the day with their usual routine (showing off their magic to one another, trying to teach the other one; lay around in the grass just talking; Voldy even started teaching Quirrell a few of his dance moves), and for once, Voldy was able to ignore all the fluttery feelings. Finally, somebody had made it clear to him just what they all were.

By the end of the day and when he was curled up in his bed, Voldy was finally relaxed enough to be comfortable thinking about Quirrell. Up until now, he had tried to avoid it because it made him feel weird, but now that he knew that Quirrell wasn’t the source of all the weird stuff happening in his body, he didn’t feel nearly as bad doing it. Besides, Quirrell was the most amazing person he had ever met, and he deserved to be thought about.

Oh, there it was again; a fluttery feeling in his tummy. Voldy grinned and patted it, now actually getting used to this because he knew what it was: a fever! That’s all it was, a fever. Nothing else. 


	7. Chapter 7

After learning about the fever, Voldy had almost completely stopped noticing all the weird feelings he kept getting. Sure, there were times when he would feel pretty faint, or almost in pain, but at least now he knew why, and he knew that he just had to give it time to subside. He would get better eventually; he was sure of that, even if it had been almost a year since he and Quirrell had first met.

Voldy curled up in bed some more as he thought about this, hoping to be able to get some sleep soon. It was fairly late in the evening, and the wind outside was making loud whistling noises that had been keeping him awake for a while. After lying there for what felt like hours, Voldy finally shoved his head under his pillow in an attempt to block out the noises. They faded, and he thought that he could finally get some sleep.

Just when he felt like he had started to dream, he heard a faint tapping noise coming from somewhere in his room. Annoyed, he groaned and sat up to find out where it was coming from. He rubbed some of the sleep from his eyes and listened for the tapping. It had stopped; how typical. Voldy frowned and gritted his teeth. Whatever had been responsible for that tapping was going to get seriously hurt if he ever found it.

TAP, TAP, TAP.

In a flash, Voldy glared towards the door to his room. Somebody was knocking in the middle of the night. If this was just some kind of prank, then Voldy would certainly _not_ be amused. He picked up his wand and stomped towards the door, still frowning sleepily. When he was about to reach for the handle, he heard a familiar sniffle coming from outside, which instantly erased the frown from his face.

No. It _couldn’t_ be…

Voldy slowly opened the door to be absolutely certain that nobody was pulling pranks on him, and when nothing jumped inside or was shot at him, he figured it was safe to look. When he did, his tummy plummeted. Quirrell was standing in the hallway, face red, eyes wet, and his scarred hand covering his mouth. In his other hand was his wand, a very weak-looking mist emanating from its tip.

“Quirrell, wha... What’re you doin’ here?” Voldy slurred. His mouth still hadn’t woken up, apparently.

“It- it won’t w- wo- work right,” Quirrell sobbed, sounding both scared and worried. 

“What?” Voldy had no idea what Quirrell was talking about, but was a little disturbed. He had never seen Quirrell this scared, save for his younger self in his memories, and seeing him like this in the middle of the night didn’t help matters. “Are you alright?”

Quirrell kept sobbing silently, not moving a muscle, and the little mist on the tip of his wand faded some more. The brown-haired boy gasped at that, looking very afraid. “Vo- Voldy, he’s br- breaking m- me!” he whispered, his stutter shining through more than ever.

Feeling very concerned (not to mention hollow, now that he had seen Quirrell so very upset), Voldy grabbed his best friend’s free hand, tugged him inside his room and used his own wand to light it up. Voldy knew very well that kids at the orphanage weren’t supposed to roam the hallways late at night, let alone come into each other’s rooms, but he just had to make an exception. Quirrell didn’t even seem to notice that he had been moved from one spot to another, and just kept staring at the tip of his wand, a look of horror still present on his face. Voldy, still holding Quirrell’s hand, led his friend to his bed and sat him down on it before positioning himself beside him.

Quirrell was now panting frantically, and still didn’t seem completely aware of Voldy’s presence. Voldy could fell his tummy sink lower and lower with each passing second, a painful sting accompanying the feeling. He squeezed Quirrell’s hand in an attempt to snap the horrified boy back to reality. It somewhat worked, as Quirrell was now finally able to take his eyes off the tip of his wand and turn to Voldy.

“It- it’s alm- most g- gone,” he whispered and bit his lip, then flung his arms around Voldy and pulled him closer to him, now crying into his shoulder once more.

Voldy wasn’t sure what to do – he didn’t even know what was making Quirrell so upset in the first place. He wrapped his own arms around Quirrell and caressed his back, trying to at least get his friend to stop crying. “Hey, it’s okay, buddy. I’m right here,” he said in the most soothing voice possible, which was hard because he was still pretty tired. He let a few minutes pass before doing anything else, allowing Quirrell to finish crying in peace.

After a few minutes of comforting, hugging, and in Quirrell’s case crying, the two friends parted. Quirrell slowly dried his eyes while Voldy focused on getting his intestines back to normal – they had sunk, twisted and turned all at once, and his heartbeat had raced the whole time, so he was quite exhausted. Then he looked at Quirrell and decided to speak again.

“Quirrell, what’s going on? Why are you up so late?”

“I- I had a ni- nightmare,” Quirrell replied and sniffled. His hands moved aimlessly about his wand, and Voldy wondered what had been the deal with that mist.

“A nightmare? Well, that’s not so bad, is it?” Voldy said, trying to sound like he wasn’t too worried. “I mean, was it really bad enough to come all the way down here for?”

Quirrell shook his head and rubbed his face. “No, not r- really…”

“Then what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?” Voldy couldn’t help himself. He had to know straight away, in case it was something severe. Maybe he could help.

“B- Because it was about my d- dad…” Quirrell said, and Voldy instantly felt his heart skip a beat. Oh no, this wouldn’t be good. “It- it all looked so r- real. He was ch- chasing me with a b- bat and screaming and- and then he got me and started h- hitting me and sc- screaming at me how I was w- worthless and stupid and di- didn’t deserve to live and…” He bit his lip again, seemingly holding back another sob, and grabbed Voldy’s hand to squeeze it. “It was so sc- scary!”

Voldy didn’t know what to say. His fever was acting up again, making him feel all sorts of emotions, but all he could think about was that he had to come up with a way to make Quirrell feel better somehow. Seeing his best friend like this made Voldy feel bad too. Before he got a chance to say anything, though, Quirrell lifted his wand again and stared at it.

“It’s not the f- first time, you know,” he said, his voice sounding a little less raspy. “I have ni- nightmares all the t- time, so I’m sorta used to them by now.”

How a traumatized little kid like Quirrell would be able to get _used_ to having nightmares every other night, Voldy simply couldn’t understand. He was amazed at how brave his best friend was, and squeezed his hand back to show him that he cared.

“How?” he had to ask. He hoped it wasn’t too forward of him.

Still staring at his wand, Quirrell replied. “D- Dumbledore taught me a way to f- feel better. And- and it’s worked so far, but tonight it just… b- broke.”

Quirrell looked like he was ready to start crying again, so to keep that from happening, Voldy kept talking. “What did he teach you? Was it a spell or something?”

“S- sorta,” Quirrell said and sniffled, apparently distracted enough to not start crying just yet. “H- he said that if I got sc- scared or sad when I was a- alone, I should think of so- something that made me feel h- happy.”

_His mom_ , Voldy thought, remembering the very first time he had approached Quirrell’s room. Dumbledore had said something about ‘keeping his mother’s memory alive’. Then of course there was that time he had seen Quirrell’s memories, and Quirrell had said that thinking about his mother made him happier, even if it was very hard for him.

“And- and then,” Quirrell continued, “I was s- supposed to let it fill me up and only f- focus on that happy thing, and then do this sp- spell to see how well it worked.” Now his eyes were getting glossy, and Voldy dreaded what was coming next. “But- but now it didn’t work! And I’m really sc- scared, Voldy, because I think I’m br- broken!”

Voldy wrapped an arm around Quirrell’s shoulders and let him bury his face in his chest in case he wanted to cry. He only sniffled silently, but he didn’t move from where he was, which assured Voldy that he was comfortable where he was (Voldy liked having Quirrell this close too, so it was no big deal). Voldy patted his friend on the back to calm him. “Quirrell, you’re not broken.” He felt Quirrell twitch slightly, indicating that he was about to protest, so he kept talking. “No, no, lemme finish.” Quirrell calmed down. “Look, I… I know I don’t say this a lot, but… You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Quirrell, and I’ve never seen anybody do magic like you.” Saying all those things made Voldy’s fever act up again; making him feel very warm and fuzzy inside, and his tummy felt like it was turning upside down. “You’re really smart, and brave, and a really, really good friend. And if there’s one thing you’re not, it’s broken.”

At that point, Voldy’s face was burning up like crazy, and his heart was racing in his chest. For a moment, he wondered if Quirrell noticed just how fast he was breathing. But Quirrell just slowly sat back up, drying his eyes, and sniffled. “Voldy, I- I dunno what to s- say…”

Voldy smiled and shook his head. “You don’t have to say anything,” he said sweetly. “Just… don’t ever think about yourself like that again, okay? You _really_ don’t deserve that.”

Quirrell let out a small laugh, which in turn made Voldy feel much better for him. “Oh, uh… th- thank you,” he said. Voldy was just about to reply when he kept talking. “Hey, um, c- can I sleep here tonight?” He began nervously fidgeting with his fingers, indicating that he felt uncomfortable about the question, but was definitely very sincere about it.

Taken aback slightly, Voldy still knew exactly what to say. “Sure! No problem!” He didn’t even care that it wasn’t allowed, or that he would probably get scolded for it when the staff found out. Right now, Quirrell needed somebody to comfort him, and Voldy was going to be that somebody.

Although he tried to hide it, Quirrell’s face beamed at Voldy’s reply. “R- really?”

“Duh,” Voldy said playfully as he let go of Quirrell and hopped backwards in his bed to make some room for his friend.

“A- are you sure?” Quirrell said worriedly as he crawled towards the middle of the bed.

“Quirrell, would I really make room for you on my own _bed_ if I wasn’t sure I was gonna let you sleep in it?” Voldy said while he put the covers over Quirrell and himself. His heartbeat was furiously fast, but honestly, he simply didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything right now. Just the fact that Quirrell had actually come to him for comfort was so overwhelming, for some reason. Voldy lay down on his side and watched as Quirrell lay down on his back, pulling the covers all the way to his chin.

“Hey, Voldy?” Quirrell whispered when they were both comfortable.

“Myeah?” Voldy replied drowsily – he had just closed his eyes and was ready to get some _sleep_.

Suddenly, Voldy felt like all the blood in his body had been pumped straight into his head, his still racing heartbeat ringing in his ears, as he realized that Quirrell had turned to his side and sort of snuggled up to him. He was so close now; Voldy could feel Quirrell’s hot breath on his neck, which made him shiver. Stupid fever…

“I th- think you’re amazing too,” Quirrell said and cuddled up to Voldy some more, one of his arms now wrapped around him.

Voldy smiled, eyes still closed, and held back a sigh. He was surprisingly comfortable with this. He had never shared his bed with anybody before, and had never really imagined how it would feel. As it turned out, it felt pretty good. Quirrell was much calmer than he had been when he first came into the room (though he was still shaking a bit), and having him this close was very nice. After a few seconds of marveling the fact of how incredibly awesome Quirrell and everything about his company was, Voldy slowly drifted off to sleep, happy that he could be there for his best friend.

\---

Voldy had barely slept for two hours when he woke up again, though this time nothing in particular had stirred him. He was used to waking up once or twice in the middle of the night, so it was nothing new. Normally, he would just roll over to his other side and try to fall asleep again. This time, however, he wouldn’t dare to do that just yet, because what he saw when he opened his eyes (and felt before he did) wasn’t exactly very soothing.

Quirrell was jerking about in his sleep, whimpering a bit as he did so. Cautiously, Voldy placed a hand on his shoulder to try to calm him down, but that only made Quirrell gasp and slap it away. That made Voldy highly worried – what could Quirrell be dreaming about now? The thought of Quirrell having another nightmare made Voldy’s heartbeat get faster once again, now because of worry. What if Quirrell woke up feeling just as upset as he had been when he had showed up in Voldy’s room earlier? Voldy couldn’t take that chance, and decided to shake his friend out of his sleep.

“Quirrell! Quirrell, wake up!” he exclaimed, though careful not to be too loud. He wasn’t sure if it was the shaking or the shouting, but Quirrell’s eyes almost immediately shot up and he grabbed both Voldy’s hands and gasped before panting extremely fast. Voldy’s eyes widened when he saw this, and proceeded to try and calm Quirrell down.

“Whoa, whoa, hey,” he said and cupped Quirrell’s face in his hands to get him to look straight at him. “It’s just me, you’re okay.”

Still panting, Quirrell stared at Voldy with an intense yet frightened expression. It apparently took him a while to realize where he was and who was with him, but when he did, he gradually started calming down, his breathing getting slower. Voldy decided it was alright to let go of Quirrell’s face, so he did.

“Oh,” was the first thing that came from Quirrell’s mouth. “Voldy, I- I’m sorry. Did- did I wake you?”

“Does it matter?” Voldy said, having already forgotten about his previous plans of sleeping silently throughout the night.

“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to…” Quirrell said, but Voldy drowned the last few words with a groan he didn’t even mean to let out.

“Quirrell! Don’t apologize, alright?” he said, trying not to sound annoyed or anything – because he wasn’t. He just couldn’t understand why Quirrell wouldn’t see that he was no way to blame here.

Quirrell looked downwards and sighed shakily, nodded, and then firmly grabbed Voldy’s hand. Voldy was confused at the sudden change of moods, but then remembered what he had read in that book once, and that this was perfectly normal for someone like Quirrell to go through. He watched Quirrell reach for his wand and then close his eyes. Before Voldy could even think of asking his friend what he was doing, Quirrell squeezed his hand. His face then tightened and he started waving his wand a bit, and it suddenly dawned on Voldy that he was probably focusing on that spell Dumbledore had taught him.

For the longest time, nothing happened, but Voldy saw that Quirrell was muttering some kind of incantation under his breath. Voldy didn’t dare move a muscle or let out a single noise, so he just sat there silently and watched, his hand still in Quirrell’s. Suddenly, he felt the heat returning to his face, his heart started fluttering and his tummy started turning. He almost let out a whimper because of how unexpected it all was, but held it back in order for Quirrell to keep his concentration. It was so hard, though, because the feelings were stinging him more than usual right now – Voldy felt like he could faint at any second.

Voldy was saved from passing out when a light appeared from the tip of Quirrell’s wand, but it wasn’t bright like the usual Lumos light. Instead, it was misty and flowed like the softest fabric, becoming longer and longer as the seconds passed. Mouth hanging open, Voldy stared at the mist that was now surrounding the room, and noticed that it was taking some kind of form.

“Quirrell, what are you doing?” Voldy needed to whisper, his curiosity bubbling in his veins.

He was surprised to see that the mist still hung in the air when Quirrell opened his eyes – he had half-expected the whole thing to disappear once Quirrell’s focus had been broken. Quirrell seemed a bit startled when he saw just how bright the room had become, but couldn’t hide the look of astonishment when he realized that his own magic was the cause of it.

“Voldy!” he finally exclaimed happily after admiring the mist for a moment. “I- I’m doing it! It wo- works!”

Despite not knowing neither what Quirrell was talking about nor how that spell worked, Voldy couldn’t help but smile because of how happy his best friend looked. “See? I _told_ you you weren’t broken!” he said and laughed.

“Look! Look!” Quirrell shouted and pointed at the mist, making Voldy glance upwards as well. “It’s tu- turning into something!”

Quirrell was right. The mist no longer resembled just soft fabric, but was now beginning to look like something corporeal. It was long and soft-looking as it slithered about in the air, and Voldy was shocked to see his favorite animal coming from Quirrell’s wand like that. He looked back down at Quirrell, who was still gaping at his own magic with the widest grin.

“I’ve n- never been able to do this!” he exclaimed as he used his wand to steer the misty snake around. “This is so c- cool!”

Voldy did a double-take. “Wait- what? You’ve never made that snake appear before?”

“N- no! I mean, D- Dumbledore told me it was possible to cr- create an animal with this spell, but I- I never thought I could do it!” Quirrell was still as excited as ever; happier than Voldy had ever seen him.

Remembering that Quirrell had said that happiness was what triggered the spell, Voldy wondered out loud: “What did you think about? To make you feel happy, I mean.”

For a split second, the snake froze in the air completely as it seemed that Quirrell had lost his concentration. But it stayed airborne and kept slithering as Quirrell sheepishly looked at Voldy with a sweet smile. “Well, I… I used to always think of m- mom when I did this, but s- since that didn’t work when I got my first ni- nightmare tonight, I- I thought of something else.” He looked away, and Voldy noticed a shade of red starting to form in Quirrell’s cheeks. What was that about?

“So, what’d you think about instead?” Voldy asked, his curiosity gnawing him from the inside.

“I… I…” Quirrell hesitated for a moment, then shook his head and looked straight into Voldy’s eyes. “I thought of y- you.”

Just hearing those words, Voldy could feel his tummy leap, started feeling extremely hot, and was sure that his heart was ready to pound out of his chest right at that very moment. For some odd reason, he wanted to hug Quirrell right then and there, and just squeeze him as tight as he dared to let him know how much he meant to him. Voldy thought about all of this so much that he couldn’t even think of anything logical to reply with.

“I know it’s weird, but… being w- with you makes me so ha- happy, Voldy,” Quirrell continued, a tender smile still on his face. “I’d be r- really, really lonely if it w- wasn’t for you, so I’m glad to h- have you.”

That was the last straw – Voldy simply couldn’t take it anymore. Quirrell had basically said everything he felt about him as well, and he couldn’t just sit there with a shocked expression any longer. He threw his arms around Quirrell and held him tight, wearing a stupid grin that just kept getting wider and wider with each second. The fever was driving him crazy, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hold Quirrell like this until his arms fell asleep or something.

With a little laugh, Quirrell hugged Voldy back, the misty snake emanating from his wand becoming even brighter. The hug must have made him even happier than he was, which in turn made Voldy feel so very glad; he still couldn’t stop smiling, even if his cheeks were beginning to hurt.

Without really wanting to, Voldy let go of Quirrell to look at his smiling face. The misty snake suddenly lowered its flight and somehow wrapped itself around the two friends, lighting up the scene even more than it had done before. It gave Voldy a chance to really take in how full of glee Quirrell was, as well as his contagious smile. Looking into his blue eyes, Voldy realized just how beautiful they were – especially now that Quirrell was so cheerful. He chuckled a bit, and then simply said: “Me too.”

Quirrell giggled, and then slowly retracted the snake and the accompanying light back into his wand. When done, he came in really close; so close that Voldy, with his heartbeat racing like there was no tomorrow, wondered if there was a possibility for him to get any closer. Voldy almost squinted when all he could see was Quirrell’s face, but was glad that he didn’t when Quirrell’s nose brushed against his own snake-like one. He calmed down instantaneously, realizing that Quirrell had just approached him to nuzzle their noses together. The brown-haired boy then backed away and smiled at his pale friend.

“W- we should get some sleep,” he then said kindly as if nothing had happened and lay down on his back in Voldy’s bed.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Voldy absent-mindedly replied and lay down as well, although he felt like he could have leapt out of his body by now, or that his head could have exploded. He turned to his side and poked Quirrell playfully in the shoulder. “And hey, you gotta teach me that spell tomorrow.”

“I’ll tr- try,” Quirrell said with a smirk.

For a moment, Voldy just lay there and looked at his best friend. Never in his life did he think he was even capable of caring so much about another person. Heck, he didn’t even know what it was like to care about another person! But now that Quirrell had come into his life, it had all changed. This had definitely been one crazy year for both of them, especially for Voldy and his fever. But he couldn’t help it. Being with Quirrell and seeing him so glad was always the highlight of Voldy’s day. And now, it was the highlight of his night as well.

“Well, uh… g’night, Quirrell,” he finally said as he closed his eyes, hopefully for the last time that night.

“Good night,” Quirrell replied drowsily, and with that, the two friends were finally able to go to sleep peacefully.


	8. Chapter 8

When he woke up the next morning, Voldy almost screamed in shock when he saw that there was something in his bed – and it was pretty darn close to him too! Whatever it was, it was snuggling up to him very closely, clearly having no sense of personal space. Voldy was about to reach for his wand to make the thing go away when he realized that he actually had both of his arms wrapped around it.

Only then did it occur to him that he was actually caught in a tight cuddle with Quirrell, and he remembered everything that had happened that night. He felt the heat rush to his face as he made the realization, wondering just how in the world the two of them had ended up like this. The last time he had checked, there had been a little distance between them, so waking up to this closeness was pretty shocking for him.

Still, it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable or anything like that; quite the opposite, actually. Quirrell was calm and sleeping peacefully, like he didn’t have a care in the world, and having him this close made Voldy’s fever act up like crazy. He tightened his grasp around his friend, but only slightly. He didn’t want to wake him up just yet.

Just looking at Quirrell like this made Voldy realize how gorgeous he was, inside and out. His short, brown hair, his large, blue eyes, his smile that he should show much more often – heck, even his big nose fit perfectly with the rest of his face. Then there was the fact that he was such a kind and caring person and that having him around was always a blast. Voldy wasn’t sure why he was thinking all those things (they made his fever worse), but he felt like Quirrell definitely deserved it. After everything he had been through, Quirrell deserved to be cared and thought about.

As if he had been waiting for some kind of a cue, Quirrell stirred a bit in his sleep. Voldy loosened his grip on him, but didn’t let go completely; he really didn’t want to. For a few seconds, Quirrell just lay there squinting and rolling his head, but then looked like he had decided that he should wake up now. He opened his eyes, slowly at first, but then they shot open for some reason, and Voldy saw that red shade from before reappear in his cheeks. He jolted backwards, releasing himself from Voldy’s grasp, and sat up, his hands covering his mouth.

“Omigosh, I- I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, the red in his cheeks becoming more obvious. What _was_ that?

Voldy propped himself up on his elbows, now feeling very empty for some reason, and stared at Quirrell. “What? Everything okay?” he asked, very confused about Quirrell’s behavior.

“V- Voldy, I…” Quirrell was now gnawing his fists, seemingly in embarrassment. Why would he be embarrassed around Voldy?

“Okay, if you’re gonna start apologizing for being so close, then lemme stop you right there,” Voldy said before Quirrell had a chance to say anything else. “You wanted to sleep over, and I let you. No big deal,” he added and shrugged carelessly to imply to Quirrell that he had been fine with the closeness – which was true.

That seemed to calm Quirrell down, but his cheeks were still beet red. Only now did he seem to notice it, and he touched them with his fingertips. He giggled awkwardly, and Voldy wondered what had amused him.

“Wow, this is so s- silly,” Quirrell said, still touching his face. “I’m b- blushing over something like this?” He laughed and cupped his own face as if to check if it was warm or something.

Wait a minute…

“What’d you just say?” Voldy asked, automatically inching forward a bit as he did so.

“I’m b- blushing, Voldy,” Quirrell replied and giggled some more. “And it’s s- so obvious!”

_Blushing_ , Voldy thought and touched his own face, realizing that he had probably been going through the same thing the whole time. Each time he had felt some kind of warmth in his face, he had been blushing. Oh! But that meant that it had been visible on his face too! He bit his lip awkwardly as he realized that his own cheeks were heating up yet again, and swallowed.

“So… is that, ya know… normal?” he had to ask, still hoping that Quirrell wouldn’t notice that his face was getting redder too.

“Well, it sh- shouldn’t happen all the time, just when you’re n- nervous or embarrassed or s- something like that,” said Quirrell and hopped off the bed, then brushed himself off. “Well, I- I should probably get going. I d- don’t wanna get you into tr- trouble for letting me sleep over.” He picked up his wand, and started walking towards the door.

Blushing came from being nervous or embarrassed? But Voldy never felt like that when he was around Quirrell, and yet he always felt super warm when he was around. Something wasn’t right here, but he didn’t know what. He was about to ask Quirrell to elaborate a bit on the subject when Quirrell turned around.

“Oh, I almost f- forgot,” he said. “We should meet in the b- backyard in a few hours. I can tr- try and teach you that h- happy spell if you want.”

Voldy tried to smile at his friend, hoping that it looked honest and not forced. “Sure, I’ll see you later.”

Quirrell smiled widely back at Voldy as he opened the door. “Alright then. S- see ya.” And with that, Quirrell left the room.

Sitting up in his bed, Voldy started thinking about his friendship with Quirrell. Now, he had never had a friend before, so he wasn’t completely sure how to act around one, but so far everything had been okay between the two of them. Voldy’s fever did get in the way sometimes, but normally he found a way to ignore it and go on with his day. He was sure that being this close to your best friend was perfectly normal, and that having Quirrell sleep over was just another thing that underlined the fact that they were so close.

But what was going on with Quirrell now? Sure, he was always very sweet and kind and would always put others’ problems above his own, but he had been acting much gentler than usual. And what was up with the whole blushing thing? Voldy had never seen Quirrell’s face redden like that, and he wondered if he had caught the fever too. Then again, Quirrell had said that the blushing was a result of feeling stupid and stuff, so that probably wasn’t the case.

Then there was the whole snuggling part. Voldy had no complaints about that at all – he would never be able to stress enough how amazing having Quirrell so close to him was – but it had just seemed so spontaneous and out of the blue. And then when Quirrell had woken up, it was like he regretted it or something.

Voldy lay down on his back with his face in his hands and groaned. This was all so terribly confusing. He just wished there was some way he could put all of his ponderings into words so he could just go on and ask Quirrell about it. He had finally given him the answer about the fever, so he probably knew a lot about the other stuff too. Quirrell was a smart kid. Yeah, Voldy could probably ask him about all of this without looking like he was stupid or something.

Already, he wished that the hours would run by faster.

\---

To pass the time, Voldy had brought out his muggle radio and danced. It kept him occupied for quite some time, which was good because he didn’t want to leave his room just yet. There was something so iffy about doing that after Quirrell had snuck out, not to mention how much trouble they could get in if anybody found out about it. So he had just stayed in his room and danced.

After about an hour and a half of dancing to all kinds of different rhythms and songs, Voldy decided that it was safe to go outside and meet Quirrell like they had planned. He got dressed, brushed his teeth and grabbed his wand before he dashed out of his room and out into the backyard. Sure enough, Quirrell was already there, playing with his flower magic as usual.

As Voldy approached his friend, his fever suddenly started acting up, making his stomach tighten. It stung a lot, and it even sent momentary pains down his arms and legs, almost making him lose his balance. He managed to stay upright, though, and when he was close enough he jumped to the spot Quirrell was sitting.

“Hey,” he said upon arriving. He then noticed all the flowers Quirrell had conjured up, and saw just how much Quirrell’s magic had improved since they had first met. Back then, he had only made one stalk appear at a time, and only arranged them into patterns afterwards, but now he was somehow able to whip up bouquets and streams of flowers with a simple wave of his wand. “Wow, you are _good_ at this!” Voldy added after staring at Quirrell’s work.

“Oh, th- thank you,” Quirrell said, obviously flattered by the compliment. “S- say, you weren’t b- bored while you waited, were you?”

“Nah, I just danced,” Voldy replied plainly as he sat down. “It’s been a while since I did it for that long, actually.”

“Okay, g- good, because I was a little w- worried that you didn’t want to wait that long,” Quirrell said and grinned sheepishly.

“No problem,” said Voldy and smirked back. “Why _did_ you wanna wait that long anyway?”

Quirrell’s grin faded slightly, and he was now wearing the shy smile he always had on when he was about to say something he thought was silly. “Um, well, b- because I wanted to pr- practice something before you’d come out here.”

“What’s that?” Voldy managed to ask just before, with a flick of his wand, Quirrell made all the flowers he had created form a circle around them. Voldy was very impressed, but at the same time very confused.

Quirrell had a look around, and for some reason began waving like a lunatic to somebody in the distance. Voldy turned to see what or who he was looking at, but whoever he was waving at didn’t seem to notice him at all. Well, that was strange. After a few seconds, Quirrell stopped waving and smiled proudly. “Okay! Th- that worked!”

“What worked?” Voldy asked as he looked back at Quirrell. “What’d you do? Why couldn’t anybody see you?”

“Well, I, uh… th- the flowers make it so n- nobody can see or hear us,” Quirrell said, still wearing that _this-is-so-silly_ face.

Now Voldy was really confused. “Why would you do that? Aren’t people allowed to see what we’re doing?” He was beginning to wonder if the reason Quirrell had acted so oddly that morning was because he was ashamed to be around Voldy now. His tummy dropped instantly at that thought. It couldn’t be true, could it?

“N- not really,” Quirrell replied. “See, I’m not really su- supposed to know that happy spell, and D- Dumbledore doesn’t want me showing it off that much.”

“Then why didn’t we just meet in your room or something?” Voldy asked. Quirrell wasn’t making sense at all right now.

Quirrell looked downwards, looking a little sadder now. “B- because I don’t feel well in my r- room right now because of last night. And I didn’t want to g- get you in trouble for letting me sleep over, so… I didn’t wanna take any chances with t- teaching you in there.”

Voldy shook his head, somewhat amused by how precocious Quirrell was. Still, hearing that comment about him being uncomfortable in his own room after that nightmare had made his tummy sting a little. Did Quirrell not feel safe in there or something?

Taking a deep, shaking breath, Quirrell prepared to start talking again. “A- anyway, you wanted to know how to do that h- happy spell, right?”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Voldy replied, snapping out of his thoughts. He lifted his wand to tell Quirrell without words that he was ready to start learning. “So how does this even work?”

“Well,” Quirrell began and cleared his throat. “I d- don’t know that much about it, but I know it’s called a P- Patronus Charm. Imagine f- feeling like everything that makes you h- happy is taken away from you, and all you’re l- left with is feeling sad or scared. Th- that’s where the Patronus comes in. If you can f- focus on something that makes you happy, like a m- memory or something like that, and let it f- fill you up, you should be able to make it appear.” He snickered. “And- and I know it sounds really corny, but it l- lights up your life.”

Voldy chuckled as well. Yeah, it did sound pretty corny, but Quirrell just made it sound adorable somehow. “Okay, so how can I do it? I mean, I’m not exactly sad right now, am I?” he said jokingly, and Quirrell laughed.

“No, I g- guess not,” he said. “But I th- think you should be able to do it even if you’re not s- sad or anything. I mean, I’ve never tr- tried it myself, but maybe you can.” He smiled sweetly at Voldy, clearly certain that Voldy’s magical abilities surpassed his own.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Voldy said, feeling the heat – no, _blush_ – reappearing in his cheeks. He was indeed flattered, even though he wasn’t entirely sure if Quirrell was right. Voldy had never even heard about this spell before, so who knew? Maybe he would screw it up completely and not even be able to conjure up the fabric mist.

“D- don’t be silly, you’ll do g- great,” said Quirrell and then clapped his hands together. “Okay, now, th- the first thing you’ll wanna do is think of something that makes you h- happy. But it- it’s gotta be something so strong that when you th- think about it, you can’t help but cheer up. It can be a memory, a pe- person, a fantasy, anything; ju- just as long as the em- emotion is real.”

Voldy almost asked Quirrell what an _emotion_ was, but decided to put it on hold for now – he had to focus on finding a happy thought. He closed his eyes and let out a small “hmm…” as he brainstormed.

Ultimately, he realized that every single one of his happy thoughts were about Quirrell and the times Voldy spent with him. He blushed deeper, deciding not to open his eyes just yet; he didn’t want to look at Quirrell now that his face was (apparently) very red. After a few seconds of pretend-thinking, Voldy decided it was safe to open his eyes again and face Quirrell.

“Di- did you find something?” he asked, a curious smile appearing on his face.

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” Voldy replied. His face still felt very hot, and he hoped Quirrell wouldn’t notice.

“Okay, so now, you gotta h- hold on to it, and then speak the in- incantation,” Quirrell continued and cleared his throat again. “ _Expecto patronum_ ,” he finished, annunciating every syllable very carefully, probably to keep himself from stuttering:

Voldy closed his eyes again, trying to concentrate. “ _Expecto_ … what was it, _patronus_?”

“ _Patron_ um,” Quirrell corrected.

“Right, right,” Voldy said and shook his head. “ _Expecto patronum… expecto patronum…_ ” He repeated those two words under his breath for a few moments to memorize them completely.

“When you think you’re r- ready, you can st- start thinking of that happy thing, and wh- when you feel like it’s filled you up, sp- speak the incantation.” he heard Quirrell say.

Eyes still closed, Voldy began scanning his own minds for memories of Quirrell and focused only on those. At first he was a little alarmed at just how many Quirrell-related memories made him happy, but then he realized that he hadn’t really been that happy before meeting him, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.

He thought of all sorts of things; meeting Quirrell for the first time and how utterly glad he was about having approached him that day was very high on the list, though. He could already feel his stomach fluttering, although now he wasn’t sure if it was the fever or just the happy thoughts spreading through his body.

“ _Expecto patronum…_ ”

Voldy’s heart started pounding a little harder as he recalled the first time he had hugged Quirrell, and how amazing that had felt. Remembering just how fantastic it was to feel Quirrell close to him was enough to speed his heartbeat up some more, and he felt more heat rush to his face.

“ _Expecto patronum…_ ”

Quirrell was just perfect; everything about him was perfect. He looked perfect, sounded perfect, and his magic was perfect. Then there was the fact that his blue eyes were especially bright and beautiful today, and the thought of them made Voldy’s tummy feel so light.

“ _Expecto patronum…_ ”

He didn’t even know why he was thinking about Quirrell this way. It was as if some force was making sure that Voldy thought well of his best friend so that he would know that even if he had lost his mother, he was still cared about.

“V- Voldy, look!”

Voldy’s concentration almost broke as he heard the voice he liked so much suddenly shout. He opened his eyes only to see almost nothing but extremely bright mist. He was taken aback at first, but as soon as he had taken in the fact that it was his own doing, he couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Wow! I got it on my first try!” he exclaimed.

“J- just like me!” Quirrell shouted excitedly. “See? I kn- knew you could do it!”

Quirrell looked so happy now, even if he wasn’t the one doing the Patronus Charm. He seemed so enthusiastic for some reason, and it made him shine more than usual. Voldy’s fever was acting up bizarrely now. He could hear his eardrums pound to the rhythm of his heart, and for the first time ever, the heat in his body was making him sweat a bit. He could barely take it, but it was worth going through to see Quirrell so eager.

Suddenly, both friends noticed that the misty light emanating from Voldy’s wand had gotten much brighter, and was now starting to take some kind of form.

“Wow, you _are_ good!” Quirrell said admiringly and gaped at the top of the mist.

Voldy followed Quirrell’s gaze and was genuinely surprised when he saw that like with Quirrell’s snake, his own mist was taking some kind of physical form. Thinking that all the feverish feelings were what triggered it, Voldy kept focusing on them, noticing that with each passing second, the mist looked more and more solid. After a few moments, it finally took a visible form, and began jumping and running about in the air in an excited way.

“Oh, your Pa- Patronus is a squirrel! Neat!” Quirrell said as he admired the hyperactive Patronus that was still jumping about in the air.

“A squirrel? Of all things, I get a squirrel?” Voldy said and laughed. “Why didn’t I get something cool like you?”

Quirrell laughed. “H- hey, I think it’s pretty cool. It- it’s just like you! Fun and lively!”

Voldy smiled at Quirrell. He sure knew how to put things in the right perspective. The squirrel brightened instantly, which confirmed to Voldy that Quirrell was indeed the best thing that had happened to him. Hey, if he was able to conjure that bright a Patronus on the first try, then Quirrell’s friendship must have been worth something.

The squirrel came down for a moment, seemingly to look at the boys, and for a split second, Voldy thought he felt his heart skip a beat as it soared around them. This was the second time a Patronus had done this, and he wondered if that was normal for them, or if it was because it could somehow sense that he and Quirrell were best friends.

“Oh, rats!” Quirrell suddenly exclaimed, making both Voldy and the Patronus turn to look at him, although the Patronus did leap into the air once more now that it had been interrupted. “I almost fo- forgot I was supposed to meet D- Dumbledore today!”

“Oh! Right, duh,” Voldy said; the fact that the squirrel was gone now had sent him back to earth.

“You should pr- probably pull that squirrel back before I make us vi- visible again,” Quirrell said and pointed at Voldy’s Patronus.

“Right, sorry!” Voldy said and flicked his wand. The squirrel retracted back into his wand, as did the bright light. Quirrell then waved his wand, making the circle of flowers disappear into the ground. People all around them did a double-take (probably confused as to how two ten-year-olds were able to suddenly appear out of nowhere), but didn’t seem to care all that much about them.

“I _really_ gotta ru- run. I d- don’t wanna be late,” Quirrell said, standing up. “So, uh, I- I’ll catch ya later?”

Voldy stood up as well, rubbing his arm sheepishly. “Yeah,” was all he managed.

“’Kay. S- see ya!” Quirrell said and then ran off towards the house, waving goodbye to Voldy for the first few steps.

“Yeah, see ya,” Voldy said in a low voice, more to himself than anybody else, really. He had a look around, noticing that a lot of kids were still giving him second glances. Did they suspect anything? He decided not to think about them and instead shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky.

Not much had happened today, not really, but Voldy’s mind was still racing at full speed. Had he really just gone through what he thought he had? Had he really been able to conjure a full-body Patronus by just thinking about Quirrell? How big an impact had that boy had on his life? Seriously!

But it wasn’t like Voldy regretted it at all. He enjoyed Quirrell’s company and everything about him. They seemed to share this connection, this mutual understanding that even though they had been lonely before, they would never have to worry about that anymore. So what if the fever made it almost unbearable to witness Quirrell being either especially sad or especially happy? Voldy loved every single minute they spent together, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Wait… what had he just thought? _Loved_? Was this was that word meant? All this crazy stuff he had been thinking? Voldy remembered Quirrell using that word for the first time after describing his mother as being ‘perfect’. Holy cow, Voldy had just been thinking about how perfect he thought Quirrell was!

Instantly, his face turned beet red, and he felt as if somebody had tugged his tummy upwards. No, it couldn’t be, could it? Voldy didn’t even know what the word ‘love’ even meant, so how was he capable of feeling it? This was all terribly confusing, and for the longest time, he wished that Quirrell hadn’t had to go see Dumbledore.

 

Well, there was always the library, then.


	9. Chapter 9

As it turned out, Voldy couldn’t bring himself to ask Quirrell about what love was. No matter how much he prepared himself, or said to himself that today would be the day, he simply could not get the words out of his mouth. It wasn’t just the fever that was holding him back, although that did play a big part in it. No, it was also the fact that he just didn’t want to look stupid in front of Quirrell. Why it worried him so much, he didn’t know, but he just couldn’t do it. Not yet, at least.

There were times where he could have prepared himself, like when Quirrell went to see Dumbledore, but that always backfired because he ended up being too nervous. Even for the past weeks, when Quirrell was seeing Mrs. Cole a lot on top of his Dumbledore meetings (Quirrell said it had something to do with him being interviewed or some stuff like that), Voldy couldn’t do it.

And no, he wasn’t going to go to the library again. He had gone there once after chickening out on asking Quirrell, and all that he had found there were some cheesy muggle stories about men and women being angry or sad at each other. Voldy had only scanned through them (they were _so_ boring!), and not once did he see anything that could help him out. Even if some of them had the word ‘love’ in the title! What a confusing mess.

Two months had passed since Voldy had perfected the Patronus Charm, and although those months had been relatively normal for both him and Quirrell, Voldy couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling that there was something different about their friendship now. Not to say it had turned for the worse or had gotten awkward or anything, but it just seemed like Quirrell was clearly showing signs of the fever now, and for some reason he sometimes acted very weird because of it.

Of course, because Voldy had lived through having this chronic fever for over a year, he understood how distracting its symptoms could be. The constant twisting, turning, leaping and dropping of the tummy; the racing heartbeat that always felt like the chest was ready to burst open; the extreme heat in the face because of all the blushing; the extreme panting; not to mention the shaking hands that made it difficult to do magic properly. But so far he had managed to hide it from Quirrell very smoothly. Quirrell, on the other hand, was another case.

For one thing, he always whimpered when he had the tummy turns, and sometimes even wrapped his arms around himself as if to fight back. Then there were times where his breathing obviously got much faster and he started looking very stressed about something.

But what probably struck Voldy as the oddest part was the blushing: he was noticing just how often Quirrell’s cheeks reddened up. Granted, Voldy’s cheeks did that too – all the time – but ever since they had met, Quirrell hadn’t shown any signs of this. It wasn’t until recently that he started burning up half the time, and Voldy was actually getting pretty concerned about just how bad Quirrell’s case of the fever really was.

Still, despite all the weird goings-on in the fever department, the two still kept on with their days, always together. They were practically attached at the hip, no matter what the circumstances. Quirrell was even beginning to ask Dumbledore if Voldy was allowed to be present during their appointments. Dumbledore always said no, of course, but Quirrell _still_ persisted, as if he didn’t want to be apart from Voldy at _all_.

They had become so close, in fact, that Voldy’s entire body would feel empty at the mere thought of having to give Quirrell a goodbye hug in the evenings before going to bed. He knew they would always see each other in the morning, but for some reason it was so hard to not have Quirrell near him all the time. Oh how Voldy longed for another sleepover…

Voldy was thinking all this through while the two of them sat in their usual spot in the backyard. Winter had been pretty kind to them up until now. So far, it hadn’t snowed, and the wind was normally calm, but it was always pretty chilly outside. Even Quirrell’s flowers wouldn’t stay upright for very long in the cold.

“How does it even ma- make sense?” Quirrell said after yet another bed of lilies withered and died. “They st- stay alive in my room for weeks, but they don’t stand a ch- chance out here. Weird.”

“Yeah, weird. You’d think that someone like Quirinus Quirrell could figure out how to make plants survive cold,” Voldy joked and playfully nudged his friend with his elbow.

Quirrell blushed slightly and laughed. “Hey, I just d- do magic, not m- miracles!”

Voldy grinned. “Better work on it, then!” he teased, promptly receiving a slight shove from a still laughing Quirrell. They then calmed down slightly, and Voldy decided to bring something up since his last library visit. “Hey Quirrell, have you ever read any muggle books?”

“N- not really,” Quirrell replied, now looking straight at Voldy, having seemingly given up on trying to keep any of his flowers alive. “I mean, I d- didn’t grow up with mu- muggles or anything, so I dunno. Why?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just, there’s this section in the library that only has muggle books in it, and they’re all pretty stupid,” Voldy said.

“St- stupid how? Like, boring stupid or si- silly stupid?” Quirrell asked, now looking intrigued and curious about the subject (surprising Voldy a bit).

“Uh, a little bit of both, really,” said Voldy, putting his wand to his chin in thought. “They write about all kinds of stupid stuff that could never happen in real life. Like this one book is about these two men who survive the end of the world by ‘getting a lift’ from a spaceship or something. I didn’t read it,” he added when he saw how confused Quirrell looked (probably waiting for a further elaboration), “but it just looked so stupid. I mean, what are the odds of that happening?”

“Yeah, it does sound pr- pretty weird,” Quirrell said and chuckled. “What about the b- boring stupid ones?”

“Oh, there’s _tons_ of those!” Voldy exclaimed. “At least the silly stupid ones are silly enough to be weird and stuff. The boring ones are just so… ugh! There’s all kinds of books that are basically about the same thing: a man and a woman meet, argue a lot, and then end up being very sad the whole time.”

“W- wait- what?” Quirrell said and laughed. “Who’d wanna r- read about something like that?”

“Yeah! It’s so weird,” Voldy said, chuckling as well. “And get this: they’re apparently ‘love stories’,” he added, accidentally speaking the word he still hadn’t uttered around Quirrell. He froze momentarily, wondering if Quirrell even knew he didn’t know what it meant.

“Really?” Quirrell said with a dumbfounded expression.  “W- wow, that doesn’t sound very l- lovey to me. M- maybe muggles see love differently? I d- dunno…”

Voldy didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t know what love even was, so how was he supposed to know whether or not muggles saw it differently than wizards? Still, the moment Quirrell had spoken the word, something clicked in his head, and he just had to get it out somehow. He had chickened out way too many times to screw this up. He took a deep breath, though trying to keep it subtle, and just asked.

“Quirrell, what _is_ love anyway?” Voldy’s heart started pounding once more, and he felt his cheeks heat up. Oh come on, was he seriously blushing because he finally asked?

There was a short silence, and to Voldy’s surprise, Quirrell started blushing as well. He looked away, probably in an attempt to hide it, fidgeting with his fingers in an awkward manner. “Um, uh, we- well, I, uh…” he stammered and then cleared his throat. “S- see, I’m not sure ex- exactly what it is, but I think it’s caring a lot for another pe- person, and like being around them.”

Voldy tilted his head in confusion, his heartbeat calming down only a little bit. “Wait, I thought that was friendship,” he said and scratched his head. “Are you sure you’re not just talking about that?”

“Oh! R- right, right, yeah,” Quirrell said and laughed in a very odd manner, his hands reaching to his tummy now. “Yeah, I- I’m sorry.”

Glancing at his friend, Voldy noticed just how weird he was acting, obviously because of the fever. It was so strange seeing Quirrell act this way, as if he was hiding something from Voldy that he thought was silly or embarrassing or something. Why would he do that? He should know by now that Voldy would never laugh at anything he said.

“You okay?” he decided to ask to make sure it was just the fever and nothing else.

“Oh, y- yeah, I’m alright,” Quirrell said and rubbed his arm. “It- it’s just, ya know, hard to f- focus when it’s so chilly.”

Voldy grinned. Yeah, it was definitely just the fever. He knew exactly what Quirrell was talking about: all those feelings did make it hard to focus, so now he wasn’t as surprised that Quirrell had confused love with friendship. It made him feel a little better about not being entirely sure himself what on earth love even meant.

“S- say,” Quirrell said, “could you maybe sh- show me the muggle stories? I just wanna kn- know how stupid they are.”

“Sure. But I’m gonna warn you, they’re super stupid,” Voldy said as he stood up. Quirrell did the same and the two walked back inside, passing the other kids in the backyard as they did so. For some odd reason, the oldest kids were giving them weird looks and whispering something to one another. What was that about?

As they walked inside and Voldy felt his body adjust to the warmer temperature, they took their coats off and ran towards the library. Voldy wasn’t sure exactly why Quirrell even wanted to see those silly muggle stories in the first place, but still, if he wanted to see for himself just how boring they were, he wasn’t going to stop him.

When the two finally reached the library door, Voldy opened it up, allowing Quirrell to step in first, and then he followed. They took a few moments to breathe and Voldy had a little look around. He gestured to Quirrell to start walking towards the adult section, and they did just that. Passing the numerous shelves and hundreds of books, Voldy noticed just how enchanted Quirrell was by the amount of reading material available in the library. He obviously didn’t visit the place that often.

“Well, there they are,” Voldy said as they reached the muggle section, and pointed at the shelves that contained the so-called ‘love stories’. Quirrell gazed wide-eyed at the amount of books presented to him. Voldy grinned and pushed him forward.

Quirrell was a bit hesitant at first, probably not sure whether or not he should actually give books like this a chance. But sure enough, he started browsing the titles, and picked one out at random: _Emma_. Voldy cocked an eyebrow at the cover of the book once he saw it, and he noticed that Quirrell was looking at it strangely too.

“Wow, th- this is so weird,” Quirrell said as he kept staring at the completely still woman on the cover. “She’s not m- moving or anything.”

“Yeah, I dunno why muggles even bother with photos, nobody ever does anything in them,” Voldy said as the two friends turned to find a table. They found one quickly and sat down, and Quirrell opened his book. He flipped through the pages to scan it, and Voldy saw that already he looked like he would likely give up on it. Still, he apparently wanted to give it a shot, and started reading the first few pages.

Voldy didn’t have anything to do, so he just sat there and looked either at Quirrell or at random objects around them. For a few minutes, he wondered just what might be so interesting about that book that Quirrell still hadn’t closed it. He decided not to ask him just yet – maybe he really _did_ like that thing.

Voldy was just about to ask Quirrell what he thought of it so far when he heard footsteps in the distance. Quirrell obviously heard it too because he looked up from his reading as Voldy turned in his seat. Mrs. Cole was approaching them, holding a stack of papers and a quill. The two friends looked on as she came nearer, and then at each other. Voldy shrugged and Quirrell raised his eyebrows and shook his head, as if to say: _I dunno either._

After a few seconds, Mrs. Cole was finally at the table and greeted the friends with a nod. “Good afternoon, boys. Having a nice day?” Voldy wasn’t sure what to say, so he just gave a small “Mhmm” and Quirrell nodded. “Good,” Mrs. Cole continued, and then eyed Quirrell. “Quirinus, I was wondering if you would care to join me in my office in a couple of minutes.”

“Why?” Quirrell said, looking slightly confused.

“I have a feeling there’s somebody there who would like to see you,” Mrs. Cole said ambiguously and grinned. “Be there in the next ten minutes or so, alright?” she added as she turned to leave. She looked excited for some reason, and Voldy wondered what was going on. He turned to Quirrell, who looked just as confused as he did.

“Did- did I do something wrong?” Quirrell said when Mrs. Cole was out of sight and scratched his chin. “Do you th- think I’m in trouble?”

“You? In trouble?” Voldy playfully batted his hand. “Please, she’s probably gonna award you for good behavior or something.”

Quirrell chuckled. “Still, I- I really don’t know what she’s up to. Maybe she wa- wants to check how I’m doing with Dumbledore or something. Oh!” He snapped his fingers in realization. “Or maybe it’s about my interviews!”

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” Voldy said and shrugged, not bothering to ask what the latter part was about. He then stood up and knocked on the table. “Now come on. Put that muggle story back in the shelf and let’s go!”

With that, Quirrell closed his book and put it back in its place. He then joined Voldy in running out of the library and up to the second floor, where Mrs. Cole’s office was. When there, Voldy urged Quirrell to knock on the door, and he did. The two waited for a couple of seconds (Voldy kept giving Quirrell assuring grins, to which Quirrell nodded accordingly) before hearing footsteps approaching the door from the inside. The door opened, and Mrs. Cole came into view.

“Ah, Quirinus!” she exclaimed happily. “Excellent. Come right in, dear.” She opened the door completely, and Voldy saw that there were two other persons in the office. What on earth was going on? As Quirrell walked inside, he looked like he was just about to ask something when Mrs. Cole spoke again, this time speaking to Voldy. “Voldemort, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to wait.”

“What? Why?” Voldy said confusedly.

“Don’t worry, this will only take a couple of minutes,” Mrs. Cole said and led Quirrell inside. “Why don’t you just wait in your room, Voldemort, hm?”

Voldy rolled his eyes at how silly Mrs. Cole was making herself look, but agreed nevertheless. He eyed Quirrell and said: “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Ye- yeah,” Quirrell managed to say just before Mrs. Cole closed the door to her office. Voldy stood outside for a few moments, then sighed and began walking upstairs to his room.

When there, he dropped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Now that Quirrell wasn’t around, he had no idea what to do. He wasn’t in the mood to dance, and practicing magic was only worth his time when Quirrell was doing it too. Voldy sighed and closed his eyes.

His heart was fluttering slightly, and his tummy felt a little deeper than usual. He hated when that happened – it was the kind of feeling he always got when he couldn’t be with Quirrell. Having to be separated from him in the evenings was hard enough, but at least then they both knew when they would see each other next. Times like these, though, when somebody just took them apart with no explanation, were rougher. Mrs. Cole had said that whatever was going on wouldn’t take very long, but that was adult talk, and ‘not very long’ usually meant ‘longer than you think’ in adult talk.

Why was it so darn hard for people to understand that he just didn’t want to be apart from Quirrell, ever? Granted, he would never be able to explain why to save his life, but not having Quirrell around always made Voldy’s days seem slower and gloomier. He _had_ to have his company; it always brightened his day. Besides, Quirrell and everything about him was what got his Patronus to work, so his friendship must have been worth _something_.

But then there was the fact that Quirrell was just so gosh darn (Voldy actually squinted and felt himself blush as he thought about the word) beautiful. Voldy didn’t know why, but just looking at Quirrell would somehow send shivers down his spine and make his tummy twist and turn. Especially his eyes – his eyes and his smile. Those were Voldy’s two favorite things about Quirrell’s appearance. He reluctantly let out a small sigh as he realized how much he cared for his best friend, and mentally thanked whatever force it was that had made him talk to Quirrell that fateful day.

Voldy smiled wide as he felt his fever act up again, only this time it was kind of nice. For once, it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable or anything. It just sort of made him realize that his internal organs still worked, and that his blood was still pumping. Voldy then turned to his side and, despite himself, hugged his pillow and kept smiling gleefully. His mind had no idea why, but his body knew there was something going on with him that made him want to do this. Whether it was thinking of Quirrell or just the fever, he didn’t know, and honestly, he didn’t care. He just kept hugging his pillow, snuggling up to it as if it was a real person. He felt super silly, but at the same time so glad.

He probably stayed like that for a good five or ten minutes without even knowing how time was flying. It must have been more than a few moments, though, because before he knew it, he heard a soft tap on his door. He instantly shot up to a sitting position, blushing madly as he realized what he had been doing this whole time. He shook his head to start thinking straight (all he could think about was Quirrell!) before hopping out of bed and went to open the door.

As he touched the handle, he heard someone breathing heavily on the outside, and someone else was whispering something that he couldn’t quite make out. He decided not to think about it and opened the door. As soon as he did, Quirrell barged in and hugged him, making him almost lose his balance.

“Whoa!” Voldy exclaimed while trying to remain standing up. “Quirrell, everything okay?” He felt Quirrell nod, and hugged him back. He then looked up and saw three figures standing over them: Mrs. Cole, and a man and a woman he had never seen, all smiling happily. “Wha… What’s going on?”

Quirrell loosened his grip on Voldy and looked at him in the eyes. For a moment, Voldy wasn’t sure if he was crying or not, and his expression had a mixture of sadness and happiness in it. He sniffled loudly and grabbed Voldy’s shoulders. “I’m getting adopted!”

Three words. Three simple words. That’s all it took to make Voldy feel like somebody had just ripped out his intestines. So _that’s_ what the interviews had been about. Voldy stared blankly at nothing for a moment, taking in what his best friend had just said. He couldn’t feel his legs, and even though Quirrell was still holding his shoulders, he couldn’t feel that either. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything. Just emptiness.

“V- Voldy? Are you okay?” Quirrell said, looking very concerned as he let go of Voldy and took a step backwards. Voldy didn’t reply.  No, he _couldn’t_ reply. There was something lodged in his throat and he could barely breathe, let alone speak. “You’re sc- scaring me. Say something!”

“I… I c- can’t,” Voldy whispered.

Quirrell was taken aback at how sad Voldy was, and his glossy eyes looked like they were about to tear up as well. “Oh, Voldy!” he exclaimed and hugged Voldy again. That was all he needed to do to make Voldy’s waterworks start. He grasped Quirrell tight, not wanting to let him go, ever. Well, he always felt that way when they hugged, but now was different. If he let go of Quirrell now, he would leave the orphanage with his adoptive parents and Voldy wouldn’t be able to see him every day.

Suddenly, Voldy heard the door to his room close, and noticed that he was alone with Quirrell. The adults had probably realized that the two boys wanted to say their goodbyes in peace, which Voldy was sort of thankful for. He hugged Quirrell even tighter and kept on crying into his shoulder.

“Qu- Quirrell!” he sobbed, finally finding his now very cracked voice. “I don’t want you to go!”

“And- and I don’t wanna le- leave you either!” Quirrell exclaimed and sniffled loudly. He then started caressing Voldy’s back to comfort him as he kept talking. “B- but it’s all done. The pa- paperwork, I mean, and I’m g- gonna leave soon.”

The words coming out of Quirrell’s mouth didn’t make sense. He wasn’t supposed to say them. He wasn’t supposed to leave. Why oh why was this happening? Why couldn’t this be a nightmare?

“But Qu- Quirrell, what’m I gonna do without you?” Voldy said, the words a bit muffled because he had dug his face into Quirrell’s shoulder, and in the back of his head marveled the fact that yes, his tummy could plummet even deeper.

“Hey, hey, we- we’ll still be in touch,” Quirrell said and sniffled. He let go of Voldy to look at him straight in the eyes, and smiled. “L- look, I promise I’ll write as often as I c- can, okay?” he said while he brushed some of Voldy’s tears off his face.

Feeling Quirrell’s hand like this made Voldy want to cry harder. Without thinking, he grabbed Quirrell’s hand and pressed it against his own face, nuzzling it with his cheek. “But it won’t be the same.” He had to let out a sob before continuing. “I- I _need_ you,” he said, realizing that he had never really told Quirrell just how much he meant to him. He blushed madly and felt his hands shake to the point that he could barely keep them still. Because of the shaking, he gave up on keeping Quirrell’s hand in his own.

Quirrell gasped when he heard Voldy’s words, but kept his hand on Voldy’s face. The tears returned in his eyes and his lip quivered. “Voldy, I… I had n- no idea.”

“I know, I feel so stupid!” Voldy cried as he limped down to the floor. “I should’ve told you! I just- I just- I can’t! I can’t do this!” He had never felt so sad in his entire life. He was crying more than ever, and he had never felt this empty inside. Unless Quirrell said that he didn’t really have to leave, nothing would ever be able to cheer him up.

Quirrell dropped down to his knees, his hand still on Voldy’s cheek. “It- it’s okay, Voldy,” he said in the sweetest, most comforting voice Voldy had ever heard. “I’ll write, I pr- promise. And hey, sc- school starts next year. We’ll see each other then, right?”

Voldy nodded slowly, although he wasn’t sure if what Quirrell was saying was necessarily true. “But I… I’m gonna feel so- so lonely without you,” he whispered, head down.

“I know, I know,” Quirrell said, inching a bit closer to Voldy. “I’m gonna mi- miss you too, buddy. But it’s not f- forever, okay? I promise.” He then cupped Voldy’s face and made him look up, and pulled him closer to him. Voldy closed his eyes – he knew what was coming – and sure enough, Quirrell nuzzled their noses together. He let go of Voldy’s face and smiled caringly at him, making Voldy’s heartbeat get a little faster.

“Quirrell, I…” was all that came out of Voldy’s mouth.

“Voldy, you’re my be- best friend in the whole wide world, you know that,” Quirrell said as he stood up and then helped Voldy do the same. “And you’ll always be m- my best friend, _always._ I’ll never ever stop th- thinking about you, ever, okay? Because I… I…”

Quirrell hesitated and Voldy used the opportunity to sniffle loudly. He then looked at his best friend and waited for whatever it was he was trying to say. Quirrell’s cheeks were beet red, and he was breathing heavily. Clearly the fever was affecting him again, and Voldy wondered what could possibly be harder to say than ‘goodbye’.

“I… I…” Quirrell still couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. He then took a deep, shaking breath, and looked Voldy straight in the eyes. “I love you, Voldy.” He bit his fist and turned around, obviously embarrassed.

Voldy just stared blankly at the back of Quirrell’s head. _Love._ As if this goodbye wasn’t hard enough, Quirrell just had to say the one word Voldy had no idea what meant, but clearly meant a lot to Quirrell. Why did this have to be so torturous? Before he had a chance to react, however, Quirrell turned back to him, smiling.

“Just, um… Ju- just remember that, okay?” He came in closer and hugged Voldy once more. “Be- because hey, just because we won’t s- see each other all the time, it doesn’t mean we’ll forget each other, right?”

“I… I guess,” was all Voldy could say. It didn’t matter what Quirrell said; the emptiness wouldn’t leave.

Quirrell then let go of Voldy and looked at him with that sweet, beautiful smile of his. “I g- gotta go now, but I _promise_ I’ll write, okay?” Pause. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Voldy said blandly and tried to smile.

After one last quick hug, Quirrell left Voldy’s room. Right now, Voldy couldn’t even think straight, let alone notice what was going on around him. He felt completely hollow, emptier than ever before, and the tears just would not stop running down his face.

Quirrell was gone. Just like that, he was gone, and Voldy was left alone. He absent-mindedly crawled into his bed and curled up into a ball, still crying. He couldn’t stop. Everything he had ever cared for had just been taken from him in a single day. The one person he had ever considered a friend; the one person who had ever considered him a friend.

Voldy would never get over this. Ever. He was sure of that.


	10. Chapter 10

Not having Quirrell around anymore made Voldy feel more miserable than ever. For the first few days after he left, Voldy almost never left his room, and would stay in there for hours curled up and crying. He was never hungry or tired or anything; he just felt completely numb inside all the time. In fact, sometimes he could barely even feel his hands. It was as if his nerves had been completely turned off.

Mrs. Cole had tried to make him feel less empty by bringing him Quirrell's letters from his new home, but that only made Voldy feel worse. He didn't know why, it just did. Maybe it was the fact that he wanted to have Quirrell with him – just seeing his handwriting wasn't enough. He had to have him near; hear his voice; see his face; feel his presence.

Voldy did like reading Quirrell's letters, though, because they reminded him of the fact that he still existed; that he still remembered. The only downside was that, because it always pained him so much to read them, Voldy could rarely ever think of anything to write back. Besides, Quirrell worded everything so perfectly, and it was hard to think of anything that wouldn't just look stupid or something in comparison.

_Dear Voldy_ , the first letter, and Voldy's favorite, began.

_I just_ _finished unpacking and I'm sitting in my new room right now. It's really big – you would've loved it. There's plenty of room for dancing and stuff. I've decorated every wall with wreaths and bouquets and it's already looking pretty nice here._

_My new parents are really lovely, by the way. At first I was a little scared because I didn't think I could trust them, but now I don't think I'll have to worry about them. I mean, Mrs. Cole knows my history, and I don't think she would've picked these two for me if they weren't nice. They're both really caring and stuff, and I know it's weird that I'm saying this already – you know, since I've only been here for a day – but I think we'll make a good family._

_I just really wish this house – well, this town, actually – wasn't so far away from the orphanage. My new parents don't really want to travel that much. The woman is a muggle, so they go everywhere by this muggle thing called a car (it's sort of like a train, only much smaller and it doesn't need tracks), but they can't afford to go out of town much. I just know I'm gonna be really sad in front of them sometimes because of it. I really, really wanna visit you, and I wish that you could visit me too._

_I know it's silly of me, but I miss you already. A lot. If only you'd been adopted too. Wouldn't it be great if we could be brothers? That'd be so cool! But I guess it's gotta be like this. It's really sad, because I really loved hanging out with you. I honestly don't know where I'd be without you. I'd probably still be a total wreck, even if Dumbledore was helping me. I dunno, I guess I just always felt different with you. I was always happier with you, you know._

_And now look at me writing this down instead of telling you this face to face. I should've done that, I'm really sorry. But hey, I still love you – at least I told you that. You're my best friend, Voldy, and I'll never, ever, ever forget you. You'll always be my best friend._

_I don't really know what else to say. My_ _parchment's getting all wet and it's hard to write on it because the ink gets all runny. I'll write you again as soon as I can, okay?_

_Love,_

_Quirrell._

The parchment was crumpled and worn out, and had indeed had some tear stains on it when Voldy had first received it. Since then, it had gotten even wetter each time he read it over. Most of Quirrell's letters were pretty tear stained, either because of him, Voldy or both of them, but Voldy didn't care. He read them over and over again every night before he went to bed to remind himself of the one person he cared about in the world – the one person in the world who cared about him.

Dumbledore of all people had tried to help Voldy deal with his problems for a few weeks. It sort of worked, and gradually, Voldy was beginning to see why Quirrell always looked and felt much better after their sessions. Dumbledore's methods basically consisted of trying to get to the root of why Voldy felt sad that particular day, and what he could do to feel better. Normally, Voldy would just feel worse because everything that made him happier had been taken away from him, but sometimes he was able to remember that Quirrell still cared – he was still writing, after all – and that made him feel much better.

Despite all the help he got, though, Voldy couldn't get over the fact that everything had changed. He was convinced that nothing would ever be the same from now on. He would never be able to make new friends (no kids at the orphanage wanted to come near him anyway because he looked so different), and he would never be happy again. Sure, he could have a temporary joyful feeling after a session with Dumbledore, but that feeling barely lasted for a day.

Quirrell was the one thing that made him happier. That was it. Nothing and no one would ever be able to match up to him. The worst part about all of this, though, was that Voldy had absolutely no clue  _why_  he valued Quirrell so much. Yeah, he was his best friend, but should it really affect him that much? Quirrell wrote to him all the time, so obviously their friendship was still alive, so why was this such a problem?

Before meeting Quirrell, Voldy had never considered anybody a friend, and never bothered with getting to know anybody. He was a loner who knew how to take care of himself. Now, though, he realized just how dependent he had been of Quirrell and his presence, and his days were much less eventful. He would wake up feeling miserable (both fever-wise and missing Quirrell-wise), not want to get out of bed until after noon, stroll the halls with a hung head, and then read Quirrell's letters before going back to sleep again. Nothing happened, nobody talked to him, and he didn't do anything.

Voldy sat alone in the backyard, feeling so numb that he practically couldn't feel the cold wind or the snow surrounding him. The warm tears rolling down his cheeks quickly cooled as the cold hit his face, freezing them in place. He tried to hold them back, he really did, but they wouldn't stop.

How was it that one person,  _one_  thing in his life, could affect him this much? Was it the fact that Quirrell was his very first friend? Was it because their friendship went off so well virtually from the very start? Was because Quirrell had a horrible past and Voldy didn't want him to feel lonely? What?

Voldy threw his hands in the air and yelled in frustration at how confusing everything was at the moment. Everybody in the backyard of course turned to look at him (and snicker, Voldy heard), but he decided he didn't care at all. They would never understand how he felt right now, so why should he bother caring what they thought of him?

He kept on trying to make flowers appear out of his wand like Quirrell used to, but was only able to conjure up weeds and leaves. Everything naturally died on spot because of the cold, but Voldy still cherished them all the same. Despite not being able to master it like Quirrell – and he doubted he ever would – it was nice to see something that reminded Voldy of him. It was as if a part of Quirrell was still there.

The tears started rolling faster and blurred Voldy's eyesight a bit, forcing him to finally wipe his face with his sleeve to dry his face. He sniffled and sighed, pondering just how long it would take him to stop crying all the time.

"Hello, Voldemort. How are you feeling today?" Dumbledore said as he apparated into Voldy's room. Voldy was used to it by now, and just kept lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Fine," he lied. He still felt very numb and careless about everything.

Dumbledore approached him and then sat down on Voldy's bed. He let out a little laugh before speaking again. "At least we're making some progress," he said sarcastically, making Voldy think that he could read his mind or something.

"Myeah," Voldy muttered. As much as he liked having somebody to talk to, he really had the feeling that Dumbledore was just wasting his time. Voldy would never feel better, no matter what Dumbledore did – that was a fact.

"Have you heard anything from Quirinus lately?" Dumbledore asked, seemingly only to keep the conversation – what little there was – going.

"He wrote me a couple of weeks ago. Haven't heard from him since," Voldy replied, recalling how joyous he had been upon receiving a letter from Quirrell for once. It hadn't been anything spectacular, but just knowing that Quirrell was still writing had made Voldy feel all kinds of flutter. Now, though, after not hearing from his best friend in a while, Voldy just felt unhappy.

Dumbledore nodded. "I see. And did you write him back?"

Voldy shook his head and sighed, finally finding the motivation to sit up and look Dumbledore in the eyes. "No, I couldn't think of anything to say. His letters are always so detailed and full of things to say and stuff, but nothing ever happens here. So I dunno." He shrugged lamely.

There was a short silence between the two, and Voldy used the opportunity to look away and out his window. It was very dark out, and he wondered what time it was.

"Is there a specific reason that you're not with the rest of the kids in the big hall?" Dumbledore asked out of the blue, making Voldy look right back at him.

"Why? It's not like they'd like having me around anyway," Voldy said and shrugged again. It was true. The other kids generally tried to avoid him whenever they could, and he was never really welcomed when there were gatherings of any sorts.

"But Voldemort, it's New Year's Eve," Dumbledore continued. "Surely you must at least have some desire to join the celebration?" He flashed a gentle smile, as if to say that even if Voldy didn't want to, it was alright.

"Not really," Voldy said, looking to the side because Dumbledore's smile made him feel guilt-ridden for some reason.

"Oh well," Dumbledore said, seemingly giving in. "At least you can see the fireworks from your window if you wish to see them." He then suddenly looked like he had just realized something, and reached to the inside of his robes. "Oh, how silly of me. I almost completely forgot." He took out his hand to reveal an envelope. Still smiling sweetly, he handed it to Voldy, who was looking very confused now.

Voldy took the envelope and examined it. The address was ridiculously specific (it even had Voldy's room and hallway numbers), and he actually managed a little giggle when he read it. He then proceeded to open the envelope, and took out two pieces of parchment; a grocery list or something, and a relatively short letter.

_Dear Mr. Riddle_ (Voldy's real last name)

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins September 1. We await your owl by no later than January 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Armando Dippet_

_Headmaster_

Voldy read the letter over three times before finally putting together that it was New Year's Eve, meaning that it was his eleventh birthday. He had a closer look at the list and looked it over, seeing just how many things he would have to buy before going there. He looked up at Dumbledore, who was smirking all-knowingly at him.

"I had a feeling you had forgotten about it as well," he said. "Now, we usually don't deliver these letters in person unless the child is a muggle-born, but you know, I was on my way over to see how you were doing anyway. Why not use the trip?"

For some reason, Voldy couldn't help but smile as well. He wasn't sure why, but Dumbledore's presence seemed to have this weird effect on him – kind of like Calming Drought or something. "Thanks," was all he could think of saying.

Dumbledore nodded and then stood up. "You're very welcome." He looked out the window for a second and then turned to face Voldy again. "I believe the fireworks are starting soon," he said, still wearing that same smile. Sure enough, he had just let go of the last word when a crazy light show appeared in the sky, accompanied with loud bangs as the fireworks exploded.

Voldy stood up and walked towards the window, then pressed his face against the glass. He had almost forgotten just how pretty fireworks could be. All the colors and the cluster of lights blended perfectly in the sky, and Voldy could hardly keep his eyes off the display. As he looked on, he wondered if Quirrell was watching fireworks from his new home.

Just thinking of Quirrell made Voldy feel a little sadder. He really wished his best friend was with him so they could watch the fireworks together. Maybe even wish each other a happy New Year and hug in celebration. Oh, how he longed for Quirrell's presence right now. Voldy's tummy stung as he realized how much he missed Quirrell and wanted him in his room.

Suddenly, Dumbledore walked up behind Voldy and looked out the window as well. He patted Voldy on the shoulder and sighed sympathetically. "You really miss Quirinus, don't you?"

Not finding his voice now because of a massive lump in his throat, Voldy just nodded in response to that. He missed Quirrell with all his heart. He would always miss him.  _Always._  He felt his eyes get watery and sniffled as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Listen, Voldemort, I know this is very hard for you," Dumbledore said as the fireworks started decreasing a little bit. "But I want you to know this: it will get better. I promise you that."

Voldy didn't believe that at all. Nobody could make him feel better except for Quirrell, and he wasn't here. Voldy wiped his eyes and kept looking at the sky. The fireworks weren't as extravagant as before, but they were still very pretty. Quirrell would probably think so too.

Already, Voldy wished that the months would just pass.


	11. Chapter 11

Finally. After months upon months of agonizing waiting, September was just around the corner. Voldy could hardly wait. In just a short while, he would be on the train for his first day of school! How awesome would that be? Dumbledore had promised to take him shopping for supplies, and even see him off when the train left. Voldy had of course told him he didn't have to – he could take care of himself just fine – but Dumbledore had insisted.

The whole school business was also somehow keeping Voldy's mind off missing Quirrell. Now that he could actually occupy himself with something, not to mention focus on something other than feeling sad, Voldy felt more content and okay with the world around him. Still, Quirrell did cross his mind every now and then, and he was still convinced that his life would be infinitely better with his best friend around.

One day late in August, Voldy waited anxiously in his room for Dumbledore to show up so they could go prepare him for school. Everything he owned was packed and he was ready to go any second now. He was so excited that he could barely stand still. Finally he could get out of this miserable orphanage and leave all the other stupid kids behind. They had given him a very hard time since Quirrell had left (teased, pointed and laughed, snickered, and whatnot – all from a distance), and he was so happy to just be rid of them.

What was taking Dumbledore so long? Surely he remembered that they were supposed to meet before going shopping, right? Voldy bit his lip nervously and tightened his grip on his wand. He couldn't have forgotten. Dumbledore was always pretty punctual; surely he had just taken more time than usual to get ready or something. Yeah, that was probably it.

Sure enough, only a couple of seconds later, the old wizard apparated into the room. He didn't say anything at first, and just had a look around the room, grinning. He then had a look at Voldy, who was practically bouncing with excitement. "I see you've packed all your belongings?" Dumbledore asked humbly.

"Yeah, I just finished last night!" Voldy said and tried to refrain from jumping up and down. "What took you so long anyway?"

"Oh, I had to make sure you could actually afford everything you need for your education," Dumbledore replied and took out a piece of parchment from his robe pocked. "As it turns out, your mother had assigned you a vault before she passed away. Clearly, she expected you to have magical blood in you."

Voldy stared at Dumbledore and tilted his head in confusion. "My mom did what?"

"Your mother deposited a few dozen galleons into Gringotts, expecting them to expand as the years went by, and then be able to withdraw it for you to use one day," Dumbledore explained, reading off the parchment as he did so. He then folded it together and put it back in his pocket. "Which means that our first stop shall be Gringotts, the wizard bank. To take out some shopping money," he added when he noticed that Voldy didn't seem to grasp what he was talking about. He then grinned and reached out an arm to Voldy.

Hesitating a bit, Voldy grabbed his trunk with one hand, and prepared to touch Dumbledore's arm with the other. He had a look around the room for a quick moment, remembering everything that had taken place in it that fateful year Quirrell had actually been an orphan too. He felt the lump in his throat appearing again, so he shook his head in an attempt to make it go away. Voldy then looked up at Dumbledore and nodded.

"It's going to feel a little tingly, but don't worry, the trip is very quick," Dumbledore said just before Voldy's fingertips touched his arm.

The touch barely lasted a millisecond before Voldy felt like something was sharply pulling him backwards from the inside. His entire room spun rapidly around him, and he felt like his intestines were all going on a rampage. Not like a fever-rampage, though. This was actually somewhat painful. He tried releasing his hand from Dumbledore's arm, but was completely stuck. He tried to let out a little scream, but heard no sound.

After what felt like minutes of mindless torture, Voldy's feet finally found something solid to stand on again. He instantly tumbled down with a yelp, and almost smacked his face on the ground before managing to brace himself with his now free hand. Now that he was actually still, he felt extreme nauseous, and let out a groan as he stood up again.

"Wha… What just happened?" he asked as he rubbed his head, trying not to sound too sick.

"Well, Voldemort, you just experienced your first disapparation," Dumbledore said with a smirk.

Still dizzy, Voldy tried to comprehend what he had just been told. This was what disapparating felt like? Why would people choose this form of transportation? Unless the idea was to clear out sinuses, Voldy saw no point in it.

"Now, the bank should be around here somewhere…" Dumbledore trailed off to have a look around, and then smiled in revelation. "Ah, yes. There it is. My coordinates were slightly off, I see. Well, no matter, no matter. We'll manage a few steps, won't we?" he then asked Voldy.

Voldy had no idea what Dumbledore was talking about, but nodded silently and followed as Dumbledore started walking. He had a look around, and noticed that they were walking down a very short, tight path, with relatively large buildings on each side. Loads of people crowded the small street, children and adults alike, and Voldy wondered just where Dumbledore had taken him. He grabbed ahold of his trunk and dragged it along as the two of them moved forward.

After walking for a couple of seconds, Voldy saw that he and Dumbledore were approaching a large white building at the very end of the street. He gawked at its size, and wondered just how it was standing upright, since some of the pillars holding it up were crooked.

"Hey, uh, Dumbledore, what is this place?" he had to ask.

"That's Gringotts, the wizard bank," Dumbledore replied. "Now come. We can't possibly do your shopping without having a few galleons in our hands, now can we?" He grinned all-knowingly at Voldy as usual and kept moving forward. Voldy followed.

As soon as they stepped inside, Voldy felt like he was in a magical environment. The bank looked much bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, reaching tremendous lengths in all directions; even the ceiling was so high that Voldy could barely distinguish the patterns on it. To his left and right were people waiting behind unreasonably large desks, all of which were occupied by creatures Voldy could only describe as elfish-looking, crumpled, and hook-nosed. They had to be goblins – no elf would ever look this mangled. Voldy shuddered when he accidentally made eye-contact with one of them. He didn't know what it was, but there was something about their gaze that was very intimidating.

Dumbledore walked on until reaching a desk that had no line in front of it, and cleared his throat. The goblin sitting at the desk looked up from what he was doing and flashed a toothy smirk that Voldy wasn't sure was supposed to be welcoming or show malice.

"Ah, Professor. Back again, I see?" the goblin said in an unusually deep and hoarse voice.

"Indeed I am, Griphook," Dumbledore said without so much as batting an eye at the goblin's harsh demeanor. "And I brought a special someone here with me to prove to you that the late Merope Gaunt's wealth was not put here in vain," he added and patted Voldy on the shoulder, making the goblin – no, Griphook – instantly look at him with the same toothy grin. Voldy felt a cold chill go down his spine, but tried his best to look calm.

"Hm, pity. I could have sworn Miss Gaunt was delusional when she deposited her money here all those years ago," Griphook said, shaking his head in disappointment, apparently. Voldy frowned. "Well then, I shall escort you to the vault." He stepped down from wherever he was sitting and gestured only Dumbledore to follow him. When Voldy tried to follow, Griphook held up a hand to stop him and shook his head.

Voldy was not amused. "Hey, wait a minute!" he exclaimed annoyingly. "This is my money! Why can't I come too?"

Griphook turned around and drummed his fingers together. "Because technically it isn't your money, it is your mother's," he said. Voldy immediately pointed at Dumbledore and was about to protest when Griphook noted what he was about to say. "Dumbledore just so happens to have the key to her vault and all appropriate information needed. Now, if you will excuse us…" He walked on.

Voldy folded his arms and pouted. He glared at Dumbledore, who simply shrugged, smiled, and said: "What can I say? Being me certainly has its benefits. Don't worry; we'll be back before you know it."

"Whatever," Voldy grumbled as he watched Dumbledore and Griphook walk towards something behind all the desks. He frowned some more and turned his head, looking for a suitable place to sit and wait. Conveniently, there was a small bench just a few feet away from Griphook's desk, and he instantly rushed towards it, dragging his trunk along. He sat down and then lamely began staring off into space.

For a day he had looked so forward to, it certainly started slowly. Voldy sighed and repositioned himself, now only looking towards Griphook's desk in hopes that Dumbledore would be back with his money sooner than later. He just wanted to go shopping already! Of course they were much longer than they had said – Voldy should have guessed. He hated the way adults measured time, because it always ended up being way longer than they anticipated. Ugh.

Still, sitting on this bench and not doing anything was certainly an okay way to let the mind wander. Despite this day starting out this slowly, Voldy was definitely excited about what had to be done. All the books he could scan, all the equipment he could browse, not to mention the fact that he would get his own set of robes, specifically fitted for only him. How cool would that be?

"Hi! Can I join you?"

Voldy almost jumped in his seat when he suddenly heard someone speak to him. He snapped out of his thoughts and turned around to see a dark-skinned girl with crazy, curly, black hair standing next to him. She was smiling sweetly at him, pointing her wand at the empty spot next to Voldy on the bench. Voldy looked down at it, unsure what to do. This was the first time in months a kid had actually spoken to him, so he was quite rusty in the social department.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he replied plainly and scooted slightly to make more room for the girl. She hopped on the bench and sat down next to him, then sighed.

"I really hate waiting, don't you?" she said, clearly not expecting Voldy to reply because she then kept talking. "I mean, my parents know they have enough money to buy me school stuff, but they still wanna check out their vault! And because it 'technically'," she used air quotes, "doesn't have my name on it, I can't go in with 'em. It's just so… ugh, you know?"

"Yeah," Voldy said, without knowing what else to add to that. Boy, this girl was really talkative.

"I know it's only my first year, but still!" she continued, not noticing how uninterested Voldy was in her complaints. "You'd think they'd be more prepared!" She let out a high-pitched laugh that probably would have pierced into Voldy's ears if he had been paying more attention to what she was talking about. She then reached out for a handshake and smiled wide. "My name's Bellatrix, by the way, Bellatrix Black. Most people just call me Bella for short."

Feeling a slight tingle in his stomach that had no business there (was it because this moment seemed familiar?), Voldy took Bella's hand and shook it. "I'm Voldemort, but, uh, you can call me Voldy if you want," he said and grinned sheepishly.

"Ooh, Voldemort," Bella said, putting extra emphasis on Voldy's name, as she let go of his hand. "That's such an awesome name! And it sounds so spooky… I like it!"

Instantly forgetting to tell Bella to tone down her voice a bit, Voldy just stared at her, looking puzzled. "Really? You think so?" he said, feeling slightly more comfortable around her than just a few moments ago. "Definitely haven't heard that one before. I mean… really? My name's spooky?"

"Well yeah!" Bella said excitedly. "It's like, it sounds so powerful and- and just so cool. It could totally be the name of a bad guy in a fairy-tale or a book or something!"

Voldy snorted at that. "Wow, I never thought of it like that before," he said. He really hadn't. All these years of calling himself 'Voldemort' and he never made the connection that it sounded genuinely fierce.

"Oh hey, is this your first year at Hogwarts too?" Bella asked, making Voldy stop giggling at his own silliness.

"Yeah, it is. I'm actually waiting for my money too," he replied. "See, I'm an orphan, but my mom put some of her money in here for me before she died, so I'm having someone pick it up for me."

By just saying the word orphan, Voldy noticed that the excited look on Bella's face melted away to make room for a sympathetic one. "Aww, you poor thing!" she said in a way that only a girl would sound. "Are you okay?"

What kind of a question was that? "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I never knew my parents anyway, so I don't have anything to miss." He stopped talking immediately as he felt another tingle. This conversation was sort of familiar. Why was that?

"Still, it stinks that you never got to meet them or anything," Bella said, and then completely changed the subject (Voldy wasn't sure if it was because she felt uncomfortable or because she didn't want Voldy to elaborate more on him being an orphan). "Anyway, which house do you hope you'll be sorted in? I know I wanna make Slytherin," she continued without giving Voldy a chance to reply. "Since, you know, my whole family's been in Slytherin for generations, and I wouldn't wanna disappoint them or anything."

She stopped talking and stared at Voldy, her eyes full of glee and excitement. Voldy scratched his head. "Uhh, I dunno. I haven't really thought about it that much," he said, speaking the truth. "I don't really care where I end up, but… I dunno, I guess I'd like to be in Slytherin too. My mom was a descendant of Slytherin himself, so I think it'd be pretty cool."

Bella squeaked in excitement, making Voldy wish he had some sort of earmuffs to prevent losing his sense of hearing. "OMIGOSH I don't believe it!" she exclaimed and then flailed animatedly. "You're really a descendant of the Salazar Slytherin himself?" Voldy nodded. "That is so freaking cool!" She then turned her head sharply to the right, where she spotted somebody. She practically started jumping up and down in her seat, waving at whomever it was she had seen, and pointed at Voldy as she shouted: "Mom! Dad! This guy totally has Slytherin blood in him!"

As soon as Bella had let go of the word, several people around them either turned around, did double-takes, or glanced sneakily at Voldy, making him blush a bit. To his relief, nobody rushed up to him or was as excited about it as Bella was. He looked up to see two grown-ups, a man and a woman, walking towards the two of them. The woman walked slightly faster than the man, and as she approached Bella, shushed her.

"Bellatrix, stop this infernal yelling," she said, her voice much deeper than Voldy had expected it to sound. "This is no way to behave in public," she continued as she brushed some of Bella's hair from her face.

"But it's true, mom!" Bella yelled – seriously, could she not lower her voice level? – as her father came into view as well, looking just as unimpressed with his daughter as his wife. "He really is a descendant of Slytherin! Tell her, Voldy!"

Hearing his nickname again after all this time gave Voldy yet another tingle in his tummy. He didn't know what it was about, but it wasn't anything that drastic or feverish, so he decided not to think about it for now. He looked up at the Blacks, who were looking at him curiously, as if they didn't believe a single word Bella had said.

"Uh, yeah, so…" he began, struggling with where to begin. "My mom's name was Merope Gaunt, and—"

"What do you mean, 'was'?" Bella's father cut in, putting a hand to his chin in thought.

"Well, um, she's not exactly alive anymore…" Voldy said plainly, though still trying not to come off as rude. He had barely seen them for five minutes and already he had decided that the Blacks were very unpleasant people to be around.

"Ah, I see," Mr. Black said, still sounding quite indifferent. "Go on, then."

Voldy swallowed, and then spoke again. "And uh, my grandpa was Marvolo Gaunt—"

"Oh!" Mrs. Black suddenly exclaimed and clapped her hands together. "I know of him. I think he's also linked to the Peverell family tree, isn't that right?" she asked Voldy, who had no idea how to respond.

"Sure, yeah," he simply said, trying to not make it obvious that he had no idea who the Peverells were.

Bella squirmed about in her seat and squeaked again. She then grabbed Voldy's arm, taking him by such surprise that he let out a little "Whoa!" as she did so. "See? I told you he was a real Slytherin!" Bella exclaimed as she snuggled up to Voldy's arm. Wow, this was clearly a very big deal for her.

"Yes, yes, Bella, now let go of the boy's arm," Mrs. Black said in a much gentler tone than before. She then looked at Voldy and reached for a handshake. "I apologize if my daughter is being a nuisance to you, dear. My name is Druella, and this is my husband Cygnus."

Nuisance? What does that even mean? Voldy thought before hesitantly taking Mrs. Black's hand and shaking it. "Hi, I'm Voldemort." He paused when he noticed that the Blacks were looking at him in a suspicious way, and then laughed awkwardly. "Well, that's my nickname. My real name's Tom, but I never use it. Ever."

"Nice to meet you, Tom," said Mr. Black, which made Voldy cringe a bit. He wasn't sure why, but he hated his real first name. It just sounded so… plain.

"Voldy's starting his first year too!" Bella suddenly said, still sort of holding Voldy's arm, even though her mother had told her to let go. "So we can totally be friends!"

Bella's parents let out a small laugh before Mrs. Black took her hand and urged her to get off the bench. "I'm sure you will be," she said as Bella reluctantly hopped off. "Now come on, we have to do your shopping." Bella frowned at her mother, obviously not wanting to be parted from Voldy just yet. "Don't worry, you two will surely see each other on the platform. This isn't goodbye forever, you know."

"Aww, but I wanted to stay and talk!" Bella whined (Voldy still resisted putting his fingers into his ears). "Can't we stay just a little longer?"

"Bellatrix," Mr. Black dragged strictly and eyed his daughter.

Bella sighed. "Fine." She turned to Voldy and grinned. "See ya later, Voldy!"

"Yeah, see you," Voldy said and waved goodbye to the Blacks. As they walked away, Voldy looked on, deciding that this was one family he would never want to be a part of. They all seemed so conceited for some reason. Well, the parents did – Bella was just super active. Voldy smiled and shook his head. Maybe befriending Bella wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be.

He turned in the other direction, and noticed that Dumbledore was coming back from the vaults. His spirit lightened instantly. Finally they could go shopping for supplies! Voldy hopped off the bench and walked towards Dumbledore, who was now carrying a little sack that jingled with each step he took – it was obviously full of coins.

"So? Are we ready to go now?" Voldy asked as he and Dumbledore met each other midway.

"I suppose we are," Dumbledore said and smiled. He then tossed the coin sack in Voldy's direction, which he promptly caught. "This should be enough for at least your school supplies this year. I also put a few extra galleons in there for leisure and such, so you won't have to worry about shortage or anything."

Voldy opened the sack to have a peek. It turned out to be much larger on the inside than it seemed from the outside, and he could tell that there was a lot of money in there. He jiggled it in his hand for a moment to hear the jingle-sound before closing it again and putting it in his pocket. The then looked back up at Dumbledore and grinned widely. "Okay! I'm ready!"

"Shall we go, then?" Dumbledore said and gestured Voldy to start walking ahead.

"Yeah!" Voldy exclaimed, grabbed his trunk, and practically ran out of the bank. This was going to be so much fun. And if not, then hey, at least he could occupy himself with something while waiting for September – tomorrow, actually – to start!


	12. Chapter 12

Voldy could honestly not believe he was living a day like this. Just the thought of buying supplies for a school of magic was almost too unreal. Sure, he had known he was a wizard since he was a baby, but he had never fully grasped the fact that he would one day have to learn more about magic. And thus, everything about preparing for it made him more excited than he had been in months.

Every single store was full of young wizards and witches starting their first year at Hogwarts. There were older kids and parents there too, of course, but Voldy mainly saw hyperactive kids his age jumping around and squealing in excitement. As annoyed as he probably would have been under any other circumstances, he simply could not blame them, and ultimately ended up joining in on the noise.

Already, Voldy had bought himself a broomstick (which he didn't plan on using, but it was on the list), numerous spell books and other magic reading material, all the essential equipment like cauldrons, parchment, quills and such, but he still felt he was short on one thing. As he walked on dragging his trunk behind him, along with all of the stuff he had bought, he checked the item list one more time, his eyes opening wide when he realized just what was missing.

"Oh! Oh! Dumbledore!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I still have to go get a robe fitting! Where's that?"

The two of them had just walked out of the bookstore, and Dumbledore grinned a bit when Voldy asked. "Well, you're in luck, dear boy. If I'm not mistaken, Madam Mulkin's shop is just across the street," he replied and pointed ahead to a two-story building in front of them.

Voldy looked up at the building. It wasn't anything spectacular, but still had the old-timey, magical charm that every other house on Diagon Alley had. Dumbledore urged Voldy to go on, so he did, dragging everything along with him. A few steps later, they were at the door to the shop, and Voldy stopped to take a few breaths. This day had been oodles of fun so far, there was no denying that, but he was still very worn out from having to drag his trunk around everywhere.

"Why don't you go in? I'll look after your things while you get your robe fit," Dumbledore said as he patted Voldy on the shoulder, clearly noticing just how tired he was. Voldy smiled at him and grabbed his coin sack.

"Thanks," he said and then sprinted into the shop. "I'll be right back!"

As he walked in, he had a little look around, noticing just how many different types of cloth and sewing material was there. The walls were almost completely covered with robes of all shapes and sizes for seemingly every occasion. Below them were numerous shelves, all full of clothespins, scissors, cut-out strings of cloth, needles and threads, as well as measuring tape that moved on its own in a very snake-like fashion. On the floor in the middle of the shop were three stools, and Voldy saw that one was occupied by a fairly tall, skinny, blond-haired boy. A young woman was circling around him, her hand movements and levitating toolbox indicating that she was sewing him a robe.

Voldy looked on, and saw a relatively large counter on the other end of the shop, where an older woman was sitting, reading the paper. She looked up from her reading as she noticed that Voldy was approaching her, and bent over the counter. Voldy tightened his grasp on his coin sack nervously, unsure at first what to do.

"Um, hi," he said plainly. "I'm, uh… I'm here for a robe fitting." He mentally pinched himself for that – that was the most obvious statement ever! Why else would he have come here?

"Ah, another first-year," said the woman and stood up from the counter and stepped towards Voldy, her eyes fixed on looking him up and down. Voldy backed off a bit because her stare was giving him an uneasy feeling. "What's your name?"

"Voldemort," Voldy replied without thinking. The woman cocked an eyebrow at him, and for the second time that day, he found himself inclined to reveal his real name. "Well okay, that's just my nickname. I'm Tom." She still didn't look satisfied; Voldy sighed. "Tom Riddle…" he sighed and scrunched his face. He was just so darn used to his nickname that his real name didn't feel right anymore.

"Excellent," said the woman and put her hands together. "Now, if you would please step on one of the stools, and we'll be right with you."

Voldy almost asked "we?" but refrained from doing so because he didn't want to come off as impolite. He simply assumed that she had been referring to another employee or something. Deciding to obey, Voldy started walking towards the stools, and positioned himself on top of one of them.

It was only when the young woman tending to the blond-haired boy bumped into him that Voldy noticed that he had chosen the stool just next to the boy's. He turned his head a bit to look at the boy, noticing just how thin he was. He didn't look frail or weak or anything, just petite or something. He kept his chin up high, but Voldy couldn't tell if that was because he was trying to give the young woman room to tend to his robes, or because he felt good about himself.

"Can I help you?" the boy suddenly said, snapping Voldy out of his thoughts and making him realize just how uncomfortable he must have been making him feel.

"Oh, right, sorry," Voldy said, feeling himself blush a little bit out of embarrassment. He turned away from the boy and started staring at the robes on the walls instead, just to look at something.

"What were you looking at anyway?" the boy asked, sounding rather full of himself. Or maybe he just had a stuffy nose – Voldy wasn't sure.

"Just… you know," Voldy began, and then decided he had to cover it up with something. "You reminded me of someone I know. But, uh, you're not them, so whatever."

"Huh. Okay then," said the boy. He paused for a few seconds, and then turned to scan Voldy's face. "You know, you look pretty funky yourself. What happened?"

Voldy scratched his head and chuckled awkwardly. "I don't know, actually. I've sorta always looked like this," he said, having almost forgotten that he did, indeed, look much different than every other person he had seen. "I dunno, maybe I was born wrong or something."

The boy was just about to reply when the older woman approached the stools, holding a toolbox containing her sewing equipment as well as a large roll of black cloth. A measuring tape followed her in the air, and when she had positioned herself in front of Voldy, she waved her hand, making her sewing kit levitate as well. She then signaled the measuring tape to start working and Voldy soon found himself completely wrapped in its grasp. His shoulders, arms, wrists, legs, feet and waist all got measured at lightning-fast speed by the enchanted tape, and when it was done the woman scribbled something down on a notepad. She then waved her hand again, and scissors and clothespins started doing their duty, all the while shoving the cloth around Voldy's body.

"So anyway, is this your first year at Hogwarts?" the boy asked once the timing was appropriate and Voldy didn't have equipment floating about in his face.

"Yeah, it is," Voldy replied. "Yours?"

"Yeah, I'm doing some last-minute shopping myself," said the boy. "My mom almost forgot to get me some new robes because she was so busy thinking about all the books and stuff. It's kind of stupid, really. I mean, aren't the robes basically the school uniform? Why wouldn't she think of that first?"

Voldy chuckled a bit, although he was only trying to be polite. This boy really didn't seem that interesting at all, especially with that snobbish attitude. He kind of reminded him of the Blacks.

"What was your name, again?" the boy suddenly asked. "Tom… something?"

"No. No, never Tom," Voldy instantly said and glared sharply at the boy, sounding a bit harsher than he had intended. The boy flinched and developed a surprised expression. "My name's Voldemort. Well, it's my nickname, but I go by it. I go by Voldemort."

"Okay, okay, take it easy," said the boy, somewhat losing his snobbish attitude at seeing how ticked off Voldy seemed. "Sorry, I didn't know it was that touching."

Voldy relaxed and huffed through his nose. "Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'm sorry," he said lamely. He then stretched his arms upwards as two fully sown sleeves wrapped themselves around them. Clearly, this session was going swimmingly.

"I'm Lucius Malfoy, in case you wanted to know," the boy said. He had lowered his chin slightly, giving Voldy the impression that he either felt more comfortable around him so that he didn't have to hide behind a holier-than-thou demeanor, or was starting to feel intimidated by Voldy or something.

About the same time Lucius introduced himself, the woman tending to his robes made the final touch and smiled sweetly at him. "Well, that takes care of that," she said and snapped her fingers, putting every piece of equipment back in its place. Lucius turned his head to her sharply, having apparently forgotten that she was even there. He grabbed the collar of his robes and tugged on it slightly, looking over the rest of it with judging eyes.

"Hmm, yeah, I think this looks about right," he said and brushed himself off before hopping off the stool. He looked up at the young woman. "Thank you. My mom did pay you, didn't she?" She nodded. "Awesome. Well, I'd best be going." He started walking out of the shop, but turned around in the doorway to look back at Voldy. "I'll see you later, Voldemort."

"Yeah, bye," Voldy said just as Lucius exited the shop. He rolled his eyes. Man, this boy was really weird. Either he was disgustingly spoiled and thus thought he was better than everybody else, or he was pretending to be all high and mighty to gain respect or something. Either way, Voldy thought it was pretty pathetic.

Would it be like this with every single kid he met? They would just randomly meet, chat for a while, and then the kid would leave? Judging by the amount of first-years on Diagon Alley today, Voldy was certain that there would be a _lot_ of kids going to Hogwarts this year, and he doubted he would see either Bella or Lucius again. Still, there was something in the back of his head that kind of made him wish that he would – if only to have somebody to talk to.

Voldy shook his head to get rid of these thoughts. They were drifting towards a certain someone again, and he knew that if he dwelled on it for too long, he would feel sad like before. He looked up when he felt that some piece of equipment was sliding up his chest, preventing it from cutting into his chin. He sighed in annoyance. As exciting as having robes sown specifically for him was, it was getting a little tedious now.

"How much longer will this take?" he had to ask, even if he knew it was very rude of him.

"Just a couple of more minutes," the woman replied while still commanding her equipment to keep on sewing, cutting and adjusting. She circled around him for quite a while longer than she had said ( _typical adult talk_ , Voldy thought). She then clapped her hands, causing all her equipment to retract back to the toolbox, and the measuring tape to wrap itself around her arm.

"Alright, that should do it, I think," she said, looking Voldy up and down once more. Voldy was finally sure that he was allowed to drop his arms, and did just that. He then hopped off the stool and followed the woman towards the counter. She scribbled something on her notepad again, and then reached out her hand. "That'll be three galleons and five sickles, please."

Voldy reached into his coin sack and searched for the right amount, put it in her hand, muttered a small "thanks," and strolled out of the shop, still wearing his newly sown robe. He had just walked out of the doorway when a hand grabbed his shoulder, and he gasped in surprise.

"Dumbledore!" Voldy exclaimed as he recalled that the older wizard had been standing in front of the shop the whole time. "You scared me!"

Dumbledore still held on to Voldy's shoulder, but was now more clutching the robe than anything else. He looked at it with admiration. "Fascinating," he said, smiling. "She's really still got it. All this lovely handwork…" He let go of the fabric and put his hands behind his back. "Well, now that you've gotten your robe, is there anything else you need? Anything on the list we may have forgotten?"

Voldy reached down in his pocket, picking up said list, and then scanned it over. Everything seemed in order, and he folded the list back together, smiling up at Dumbledore. "Nope, I think I'm all set."

"Marvelous!" Dumbledore said as he grabbed some of Voldy's stuff. Voldy in turn held on to his trunk and began dragging it behind him, thankful that Dumbledore had at least offered to help. "Alright, then. We should probably get settled at the Leaky Cauldron, just over there," he said and pointed to his right to a house that vaguely resembled a guesthouse. "You should be well rested before going to the train tomorrow."

Voldy nodded in response, feeling tingles all over his body because of the excitement. Tomorrow morning, he would be travelling to Hogwarts. He could hardly wait!

\---

Voldy woke up the next day to a bright, white light. He squinted and mumbled irritably before rubbing his eyes, yawning. Once he had gotten used to the light, he opened his eyes, and jumped in surprise at seeing Dumbledore standing over him. The older wizard was holding his wand just above Voldy's face, the light emanating from the top being what had woken him up.

"Dumbledore! Seriously!" Voldy said as he sat up and slid his hair back. "Don't kill me before I even get to school." Dumbledore chuckled a bit and turned off the light. "How long have you been standing there, anyway?"

"Oh, not that long," Dumbledore replied. "I only just woke up myself, really. And I wanted to wake you up sooner than later because I realized just a couple of minutes ago that I'm going to have to get you to the train station earlier than we scheduled."

"What? Why?" Voldy asked as he threw the covers off. He shivered a bit, but got used to the cool air in the room pretty quickly. "What's going on?"

"Well, you see, I am a teacher, after all," Dumbledore said. "I must be ready at the castle once the students arrive, so naturally, I have to go earlier than you do."

Voldy's stomach tightened a bit – a feeling he hadn't had in a long time. "Wait- what? So I'm gonna be alone at the train station?" He swallowed nervously. Sure, he could very well take care of himself, but now that he was used to Dumbledore's company, he wasn't quite sure if being at the train station all by himself surrounded by dozens of people would be a good idea.

"Don't worry, Voldemort, you'll be alright," Dumbledore said, still smiling in an assuring way. "You'll have your ticket, I'll instruct you on how to get to the platform, so all you will have to do will be waiting for the train to leave." Voldy nodded. With that, Dumbledore patted him on the head and then turned to leave the room, but stopped in the doorway. "Oh, and I'd get ready to go sooner than later if I were you. We'll be leaving in a few minutes," he said just as he closed the door.

Despite being certain that he could trust Dumbledore, Voldy was a little shaky as he hopped off the bed and got dressed. Again, he was perfectly fine with taking care of himself – he had practically done so all his life – but there was a tiny fraction in his mind that didn't want to be alone. Something wanted him to have company and not get lonely. As he brushed his teeth and washed up, he could not stop thinking about being on his own. The fact that he had gone by a whole year with almost no one to talk to or hang out with (save for Dumbledore, of course) even though he had been surrounded by a whole bunch of kids every day, was pretty jarring now that he knew what having someone there meant...

Voldy shook his head vigorously and smacked his face. No, no! He was making himself feel sad again by thinking about— well, stuff. He cleared his throat and packed everything he had used during his short stay and then got ready to head out of the room, resting his knuckle on his forehead in case his head would need a good punch later on if it started thinking depressing things again.

Lucky for Voldy, Dumbledore had gotten him a room on the ground floor, so he didn't have to worry about having to drag all his things down the stairs. Instead, he only had to walk a few steps to reach the main lobby, where Dumbledore was waiting for him. Voldy rushed towards him to make sure he wouldn't be late, not even caring about the commotion he was causing around him because of the amount of luggage he had.

"So!" he huffed when he reached the older wizard. "Where do we go now?"

"Why, we're going to the train station, of course!" Dumbledore said and reached out his arm. Voldy sighed, knowing what was in store, and made sure he held on to everything he had been dragging before putting his hand on the older wizard's arm.

Just like before, Voldy felt like something from the inside sharply pulled him backwards as everything around him spun before his eyes. His internal organs practically screamed at feeling so out of place, and although he wanted to scream himself, no sound was heard.

Finally, the two wizards landed on solid ground, and Voldy wobbled about before regaining his posture again. He rubbed his temples, trying to fight back the inevitable nausea, and groaned. Dumbledore just stood beside him, obviously used to apparating by now. When Voldy was certain he didn't have to throw up or anything, he had a look around, noticing just how crowded the place was. Everywhere he looked people were either rushing somewhere or waiting for something. There was a lot of noise around them, and for a moment, Voldy wondered if he would even be able to hear himself if he spoke. Dumbledore then signaled him to start walking, and he did just that, following the older wizard to wherever they were going.

"Hey, Dumbledore?" Voldy began as he looked around some more. "Where are we?"

"Oh, nowhere important," Dumbledore replied as they walked on – he seemed to be looking for something. "Just your average muggle train station, though it has one advantage over others of its kind." He came to a halt in front of one of the platforms, stopping Voldy in his tracks. Dumbledore paused for a few seconds to look up at one of the walls separating the platforms. "It has a magic touch."

Voldy looked up at the same wall Dumbledore had been observing, but saw no signs of anything whimsical taking place. It was just a regular brick wall.

"What kind of magic?" Voldy had to ask, since he could not for the life of him see what was up with the wall.

Dumbledore looked at him, looking puzzled, until he seemed to have remembered something. "Ah, that's right! I never gave it to you! Silly me, how would you have known where to look?" he said and shook his head. He then reached for the inside of his robes and picked up a small ticket that he handed to Voldy.

Voldy took the ticket and observed it. It was definitely his train ticket – just seeing the word 'Hogwarts' assured him. It also included the time and place of the departure, but what confused Voldy was the platform number.

"Platform nine and three quarters?" he thought out loud and raised an eyebrow. He had a look around, but saw only whole numbers, no halves, thirds, or quarters. "What does that mean? Is there some secret platform around here or something?"

"Goodness, no," Dumbledore said and batted his hand. "Muggles don't really have the technology to build anything that secret. No, this is what I was talking about when I said that this place has a bit of magic in it." He gestured Voldemort to stand in front of the wall they had been looking at earlier and pointed at it. "You see this wall? It's enchanted!"

"How? I don't see anything special about it?" Voldy said as he kept staring at the wall in front of him. He looked up and down, seeing only the brownish bricks and the platform signs hung on each side: nine and ten. Wait a minute…

"On the other side of this wall is the platform you'll be going on, dear boy!" Dumbledore said happily, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When Voldy gave him a look that proved he was as confused as ever, Dumbledore explained a little further. "What you need to do is run right into it, and try to be exactly in the middle – right between platforms nine and ten. Do you think you can do that?"

Voldy just stared at the older wizard like he was completely insane. Seriously? He had to run through a wall? "But what if it doesn't work? What if I just crash into it and nothing happens?"

Dumbledore gave a little chuckle. "I doubt you'll have to worry about that. But we might have to get you something to make the ride easier." He had a look around, and then waved his hand a little, which caused a luggage cart to start rolling their way on its own.

Voldy turned his head, trying to see if any of the muggles had seen the magic, but they all seemed to be in too much of a rush to think any of it. Voldy assumed they thought that somebody had bumped into the cart or something. He decided it was safe to use it, and so he piled all his stuff on top of it, which made moving around much easier for him.

"Well then?" Dumbledore said when Voldy shakily positioned himself in front of the wall and prepared to dash.

"So… is this the part where I go to the platform and you go somewhere else?" Voldy asked just before he moved.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied. "Don't worry, though, everything will be fine. The train leaves at eleven, which means you're a little ahead of schedule, but you have your ticket, and you have all the essential equipment, so you're absolutely prepared without me."

Voldy nodded, still feeling nervous about the whole wall deal. "I guess I'll see you in school, then?" he said and grinned sheepishly.

"That you will," Dumbledore replied and flashed a wide smile. He then nodded to Voldy in a polite manner and started walking off. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Voldy said plainly as he watched the older wizard walk off into a dark corner and then disapparate. He then turned back towards the wall and glared at it determinedly. He huffed a few times, tightening his grasp on the cart, and then sprinted forward. He shut his eyes closed as he came in closer, fully prepared to crash into the wall any second.

When he didn't crash into anything and didn't seem to be going anywhere, Voldy dared to open his eyes again, and they widened once he had a look around. He was in a whole new place which was nothing like the muggle train station. Instead, he saw a single steam train standing still on rails, old-timey brick walls all around him, and every waiting bench was made of wood. Now _this_ was a magic place.

The place wasn't nearly as crowded as the muggle station, and only a few people were already there aside from Voldy. They were mostly older students and workers, so Voldy decided not to get too close to any of them. As he looked on, he saw a small sign that read _Luggage Disposal_ , and decided that it seemed legit enough, so he left his cart there. Hey, this was a magic sign on a magic platform for a magic train to a magic school. Why shouldn't he trust it?

Voldy turned from his cart and turned towards one of the benches, then sat down on it. He looked up at the large clock hanging from the ceiling. He had just about two hours to wait for the departure of the train. Voldy groaned, knowing that he would eventually get bored out of his mind. He picked up his wand from his pocket and practiced some of his old magic.

For a year, magic practicing had been his only way of occupying himself since… well, since it happened. With nobody to talk to except Dumbledore during their sessions, it eventually got pretty isolated, and Voldy had worried for a couple of weeks if he was possibly going to end up crazy. Granted, he had basically spent the last year as he had the first nine years of his life, but now that he knew what it was like to actually have company – to have a friend – it got much more depressing very fast. Back then, he had always thought of himself as a loner, but not lonely.

He smacked his face again as he realized he was making himself feel sad again. No! He wouldn't resort to that. He shouldn't think about it now. Not when the person he was thinking about in the first place didn't seem to want anything to do with him anymore. He didn't want to think about it – about _him_.

The sad thoughts kept creeping back again and again while Voldy tried to fight them back. Why wouldn't they leave him alone? Why couldn't his mind understand that thinking about this person made him feel so hollow and miserable? Why couldn't he just go on with his life like everybody else? And why oh why were his eyes starting to get glossy?

Voldy rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his new robe and sniffled, trying desperately to resist crying in public (even though there weren't that many people to see it). He needed a session with Dumbledore, badly. Everything was reverting back to that one person and everything about him, and Voldy's tummy dropped with every single thought that came to his mind. When nothing he did seemed to make the thoughts go away, he decided to just let them stay. Besides, as he used to say, this person did deserve to be thought about, even though right now it made Voldy feel so numb he could barely feel his fingers.

He couldn't deny it. Even though he had been trying to cover it up with false thoughts he simply couldn't deny it. He missed Quirrell too much to handle. He missed him so much it hurt. And the worst part was that Quirrell didn't seem to feel the same way. He had promised to write as often as he could, and Voldy was sure to get letters at least once a week just to know that his best friend still existed. Voldy would sometimes write back, of course, but compared to Quirrell's elaborate letters about what he had done since he last wrote, there wasn't much to tell about Voldy's life at the orphanage. It was always the same thing anyway. So eventually, Voldy couldn't think of anything else to write other than Imissyou, and he didn't feel like that was good enough a response to Quirrell's extensive and beautiful letters.

Over time, his best friend's letters had become less frequent, and ended up not coming at all. It was as if Quirrell had just forgotten about Voldy and gone on with his new life with his new parents. Even over the course of the whole past summer, Quirrell didn't even write once to tell Voldy about an exciting vacation or something. Not one letter. He had obviously found something or someone much more interesting than Voldy and just forgotten about him. And that pained Voldy more than he could ever dare to tell anyone, because even though he repressed these thoughts and tried not to make a big deal out of them, Quirrell still meant the world to him.

But why? Why was this so hard? Why did it affect Voldy so much that Quirrell had found new friends or something? He should be happy for him! But no, all he could think about was that he wished that _he_ could be the one to accompany Quirrell. He would never get over this.

Voldy suddenly got snapped out of his depressing thoughts when he heard the sound of somebody entering the platform. He shook his head and regained his posture, noticing just now how pathetic he looked all curled up on the bench like this. He sat back up properly and brushed himself off, pretending to have just woken up. He had a look at the clock again, and was absolutely astonished to see that he had actually been moping about missing Quirrell for an hour. His jaw dropped. _Wow, time flies when you've got a lot to think about…_

He kept waving his wand aimlessly, trying to distract himself so he could get over the sadness he had just gone through. Despite the fact that the train wouldn't leave for another hour, he saw more and more people come through the wall. Some of them were older students, some were workers at the station, and some were younger students accompanied by their parents. So far, he was the only first-year who was alone. He sighed lamely and kept to his magic.

After about twenty minutes of just sitting there and looking at various people come in through the wall, Voldy finally saw a couple of familiar faces. His heart gave a jolt as he saw the Blacks waltz into the platform, their chins up and looking as though they wanted nothing more than to judge every single person that was already there. Voldy tried to make eye contact with one of them and waved sheepishly, hoping that they would notice him. He didn't even care how unpleasant they were. As long as he could actually hang around with someone he sort of knew while he waited, he was okay with that someone being the Blacks.

They didn't notice him (as expected, since they went to leave their daughter's cart at the luggage disposal), but Voldy was determined to not be alone for much longer. It wasn't doing him any good anyway. He hopped off the bench and went up to them as they strolled back. He tried to smile at them to see if they remembered him from the day before, but they didn't even seem to notice him. Suddenly, though, as he approached them, the girl with the crazy black hair beamed up and squeaked.

"Voldy!" she exclaimed and ran towards him with her arms open, leaving her parents standing behind her, looking puzzled. Voldy could barely react before he was caught in a tight hug.

"Hey, Bella!" he said as he awkwardly hugged her back, having not at all expected this closeness.

"So good to see you again!" Bella said as she let go, smiling so wide that Voldy was sure the corners of her mouth would reach her ears soon.

"You too," Voldy replied, seeing that her parents were coming closer, apparently just not noticing who their daughter were talking to.

"How long have you been here?" Bella asked excitedly – she was clearly anxious to get on the train.

"Uh, an hour and a half, maybe?" Voldy said, which resulted in a gasp from Bella.

"All by yourself?" she said, looking more sympathetic. Voldy nodded. "Aww, you poor thing!" She grabbed his arm and led him towards her parents. "Come on, you can hang around with me now while we wait, okay?" she added almost adoringly as she tugged him towards her parents, who were now saying their goodbyes.

Voldy had no clue how to act during any of this, so he just smiled through everything, trying to be as polite as he dared (though he was honestly happy that the Blacks were leaving, he really didn't like them). Mrs. Black was especially emotional, what with having to see her daughter off like this, but Bella just shrugged it off, saying that she would be fine and that her parents didn't have to worry about her. Voldy was surprised to see how apathetic Bella was about leaving her parents. It came to a point that she seemed actually relieved when they left and disappeared through the brick wall again. She rolled her eyes and turned to Voldy.

"Man, I thought they'd never leave!" she exclaimed and let out a little laugh. "Parents, always so worried about everything!"

"Heh, yeah. I wouldn't know," Voldy said bluntly as the two of them started walking towards one of the lines that were now forming in front of the train.

"Oh! Ah, I'm so sorry!" Bella shouted as she clung to Voldy's arm. "I forgot! Ooh, I'm sorry, Voldy!"

Voldy wobbled a bit at the sudden grasp, but managed to keep his balance. "It's okay, don't worry," he said simply as they found a spot in one of the lines.

"Really?" Bella loosened her grip on Voldy's arm and looked him in the eyes. "Wow, you're amazing, do you know that?"

For some reason, Voldy's tummy tightened a bit. How did Bella do this? How did she always say something that was so familiar to him? "Heh, thanks." He honestly had no idea how to reply to that.

"Hey, I think they're letting us in!" Bella suddenly barked, making Voldy jerk his head upwards. Indeed, the lines were starting to move, and he heard the train's engine roared a bit as it got turned on. Bella tugged on his arm, urging him to move forward. "Come on! Let's get some good seats!"

Voldy was amazed at how easily Bella could switch between moods. She was nothing like him, who just moped about everything that made him sad. She was actually carefree enough to not dwell on anything for too long to make her feel down. In a way, Voldy actually admired that, and wished he could do the same.

The two of them finally reached the door and walked in, and Bella instantly pulled Voldy to the nearest compartment, slid the door open, and went inside. She then let go of Voldy and jumped on the seat, spreading her limbs. Voldy only looked at her actions, cocked an eyebrow at her and shrugged. He closed the door and hopped on the seat facing Bella's, making himself comfortable as he looked outside the cabinet at all the other students who were boarding the train. They came in streams, and were of all ages. Most were timid first-years, though.

Bella sat up once she was done stretching and bent forward, grinning admiringly at Voldy. "Soooo?" she dragged to get his attention. He turned to face her. "Excited?"

"Yeah, actually," Voldy replied and grinned as well. As annoyingly loud as Bella could be, it was so nice to have somebody to talk to again. "You?"

"I can't wait!" Bella flailed a bit in excitement and let out a small squeak. "Oh, it's going to be so much fun! I bet we're gonna have the best years ever at that school!"

Voldy just smiled at her and hoped that she was right. He couldn't think of anything to say so he just looked back outside the compartment at the stream of kids that was still going strong. Suddenly, Voldy saw another familiar face. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do so, but he waved at its owner. The person turned, and as it turned out, it was Lucius Malfoy. He looked at Voldy confusedly, and Voldy signaled him to come inside. Bella looked at them back and forth.

"Who's he?" she asked, her tone sounding a little nastier than before.

"I met him in Diagon Alley yesterday," Voldy said as Lucius slid the door open and walked in. "He's okay." He wasn't quite telling the truth – if anything, Lucius was much less interesting than Bella – but he felt like he could use some more company.

Lucius steadily walked inside the compartment and sat down next to Voldy. He waved at Bella. "Uh, hi. Are you a first-year too?" he asked sheepishly.

"Duh," Bella said and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Bella, don't be such a bore," Voldy said and hit her playfully in the shoulder. He then turned to Lucius with a slightly friendlier smile than he had intended. "Lucius Malfoy, this is Bellatrix Black," he said as he gestured to both of them, hoping that they wouldn't stay so spiteful to each other.

To Voldy's surprise, the moment he told the two their names, they instantly looked much more interested in one another. "Oh!" they both said out loud and pointed at each other. Voldy was a little confused, but still liked the fact that they seemed to have bonded over something as simple as names.

"The Black family!" Lucius exclaimed. "I've actually heard a lot about you. You're all purebloods, right?"

Bella nodded. "Uh-huh! So is the Malfoy family! Finally my parents are gonna approve of a friend I make!"

Lucius let out a small laugh. "Same here," he said and slid his blond hair back. "I know where they're going with it, I wouldn't want the pure magic blood die out either, but… Come on!"

 _So that's why the Blacks were so excited to know my family name…_ Voldy thought as the other two kept on talking about their parents' pureblood obsession. He wondered for a moment why people would make such a big deal out of that, but decided not to think about it for now, and just listened to Lucius and Bella chat along. It was only when the train suddenly started moving that either of them turned their attention to him.

"Hey, Voldy," Bella said as she scooted forward in her seat a bit so she could get a little closer. "I've been thinking. So if, just if, we get sorted into different houses, will we still hang out?"

Voldy raised his eyebrows. "What? Why not?" He was genuinely surprised at the question. Where had that even come from?

"It's just, I thought about it a lot yesterday, and I got kinda worried," Bella continued. "You know, because you're kinda the first friend I've made that's going to Hogwarts, and I don't wanna lose you to another house. 'Cause I've heard that once you get sorted, you only hang out with people in your own house."

Lucius huffed a little. "Really? Is that why they sort people based on their personalities?"

"I guess," Bella replied. "It's like, they have these qualifications for each house or something, and then just isolate the students from each other. Or whatever. I dunno," she added and shrugged.

Voldy batted his hand. "Eh, I wouldn't be that worried about it," he said carelessly. "I'm sure that whole isolation thing is just something they're making up to make us first-years more afraid of our first day."

Bella smiled sweetly. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Besides, my dad says that most purebloods make Slytherin anyway, so I think we're all covered," Lucius added, which resulted in Bella letting out a little giggle.

Voldy smirked in agreement. He then looked out the window and watched as the scenery sped by. For a day that had included him feeling more depressed than he had in months, it was turning out to be quite good. He wasn't lonely anymore, and actually had somebody to hang out with that cared about staying his friend. Maybe Hogwarts would end up being better than he thought.


	13. Chapter 13

The train moved progressively on the tracks, making the trip to Hogwarts shorter by the minute. Voldy couldn't deny that he was beginning to feel excited about finally getting there. He kept looking out the window to try and see if the school would get into view soon, but always ended up looking at either trees or lakes rush by.

He looked on at the kids sharing the compartment with him. Bella was squirming excitedly in her seat, letting out little squeaks every now and then. Lucius seemed a little more dignified, but Voldy could tell that he was looking forward to the arrival to the school just as much as the others. They had all been fairly silent for a while, and Voldy imagined that the reason was because they had already talked about everything they anticipated from Hogwarts, and were now completely consumed by excitement.

Voldy looked out the window once more, and finally saw a glimpse of a large building – no, castle – in the distance. His eyes bulged as he looked on, realizing just how immense it was; with countless towers reaching high up in the air, walls and bridges that went on for miles, not to mention how old it looked. The darkening sky gave it much more of a magical feel than it already had, and the windows almost sparkled. That and the mountains and forests surrounding it made it look like something that could have been cut out of a storybook.

"Guys, take a look at this!" Voldy exclaimed to the others as he pressed his pseudo-nose against the glass. Bella and Lucius rushed to his side and gasped.

"Wow," Lucius said in awe, his mouth hanging open for a few seconds before he spoke again. "It's… awesome. It's just like how my dad described it."

"It's so beautiful, ohmigosh!" Bella yelled and then twirled around, letting out another high-pitched squeak. "I can't believe we're actually going to that place! It's the coolest thing ever!"

Voldy had no more words. They were almost there. Hogwarts and everything it had to offer was just around the corner. The three of them stayed at the window for the remainder of the trip, all gawking at the castle, not uttering a single word. Bella was practically jumping now, and Lucius was beginning to hyperventilate. Voldy himself felt like he had a mixture of both of them: he was super excited to go to school like Bella, but in a way, he was also somewhat nervous to meet all the other students like, presumably, Lucius was.

Suddenly, he train turned in the other direction, and the castle disappeared from view again. All three kids groaned in disappointment at the same time, Voldy being the loudest.

"Hey! What gives?" he exclaimed. "It's just over there! Why can't the train get there?"

Bella pouted and folded her arms. "I dunno! Maybe they wanted to make us hope that we were close, or they're tricking us into thinking that the ride is over!" she said, frowning.

"Wait, you guys," Lucius said, a certain optimism in his voice, and raised his finger. Bella and Voldy simply stared at him in confusion and waited for him to keep talking. He let a few seconds pass, and then grinned. "Isn't the train slowing down?"

With a raised eyebrow, Voldy looked out the window again, though doubtful. To his surprise, Lucius was right. In just a few seconds, the train had started slowing down, and Voldy could see a flicker of light at the far end of the tracks. He turned and nodded accordingly, making Bella jump up and down and scream. Lucius put a finger in his ear and squinted because of Bella's obnoxious loudness, but looked happy nonetheless. For a brief moment, Voldy's tummy even twisted a little in excitement.

As the train gradually kept slowing down, Voldy heard a little DING, and then a voice echoed: "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train; it will be taken to the school separately."

The three kids looked at each other with puzzled faces. Lucius shrugged as if there was nothing to worry about, and Bella just batted her hand.

"Come on, it's a school," she said and put her arm around Voldy's shoulders. She had obviously seen how nervous Voldy looked when he thought about leaving all his belongings behind. Was it really that obvious? "I'm sure they know what they're doing. Let's go! You too, Lucius!"

With one swift movement, Bella had linked her arm with Voldy's and was now pulling him towards the compartment door. Lucius followed suit. When they opened the door, there was already a crowd of kids in the corridor, which they managed to squeeze themselves into. Voldy could feel at least five other kids pressed against him, and for the first time, he was thankful for Bella's clinginess, otherwise he would have lost her.

The train finally came to a complete halt, and the crowd starting moving forwards a bit. Still feeling squished, Voldy barely moved as the wave of kids carried him with it, until he was finally out. He gasped for air as he stepped on the tiny platform and moved away from the train door, Bella and Lucius right behind him. The night air was a little chilly, but Voldy didn't mind. He had a look around, and saw a rather big and bearded man approach the crowd, holding a lamp.

"First-years! First-years over here!" he shouted over the chattering group. "Don't be shy now! First-years!"

Voldy swallowed, and then proceeded to walk up to the man, with Bella still clinging to his arm. He looked around for Lucius, and when he saw him by his side, gestured to Bella to link arms with him too. Reluctantly, she did so. The three of them then looked up at the man who was still yelling at their peers to come to him.

"Come on, now, follow me!" he continued as the youngest kids flocked to him. "Are there any more first-years? Alright, stay together first-years. You all have a little trip ahead of you!"

Voldy, Bella and Lucius, along with the other students, all followed the man down a steep, narrow path. Somewhat tightening his grasp on Bella's arm, Voldy glanced around himself, seeing only darkness.

"Not to worry, kids," the man called. "You'll see Hogwarts just around the bend here."

He had barely let go of the last word when the crowd gasped. The path had opened slightly, and they were not all standing in front of a big lake. On the other side of the lake was the castle in all its glory, sitting on top of a large cliff, now looking even more magical than before with the night sky behind it. Voldy could hardly stop staring at it, his tummy jumping at the sight. He felt Bella's arms tightening around his as she shook gleefully.

"Now!" the man suddenly bellowed, surprising Voldy so much that he almost jumped. "Four in each boat should be more than enough. Off you go then!" He gestured towards a fleet of little boats that were sitting in the lake.

Voldy, Bella and Lucius all instantly hopped in a boat, accompanied by a rather pudgy boy. None of them bothered to try and get to know him, as they were too focused on simply staring at the castle ahead. Voldy managed to take his eyes off the school for a few seconds to see the big, bearded man step into his own boat.

"Is everyone in?" he asked. No one replied, but no one declined either. "Alright then – forward!"

The boats all started moving simultaneously, and Voldy was surprised that none of them was bumping into the other. He supposed it was because of the magic. The boats quickly reached the cliff, and the man told all of them to duck so as to not hit their heads on it as they sailed through a curtain of ivy that hid a passage under the cliff. They were now in a tunnel of some sorts, which then took them to a small harbor. The boats all came to a halt and the kids jumped to the surface, some more bewildered than others. Voldy, Bella and Lucius joined the group as they all walked up a rocky path in the dark (the only light being the big, bearded man's lamp) until they finally came out on the grass. Voldy looked up, and saw that they were just outside the castle. The group of kids went on, finally reaching a flight of stone steps that lead to a humongous, oak front door.

When everybody had gathered around in front of the door, the big, bearded man turned to face them all, scanning the group. "Alright, is everybody here? No one got left in the tunnel or anything?" Again, no one replied. The big, bearded man nodded, and then knocked on the oak door.

It opened instantly, on its own, to reveal an enormous entrance hall so big that Voldy was certain that half of the orphanage could fit in there. As the kids hurried inside, Voldy had a look around, his spirit brightening when he saw a familiar face standing inside the hall.

"Here are the first-years, Professor Dumbledore," the big, bearded man said.

"Thank you, Ogg," Dumbledore said and nodded. "I'll take it from here."

Without saying anything else, Dumbledore then gestured the group to follow him down a large hallway. As they walked, Voldy had a look around, admiring the huge stone walls that surrounded them, taking in nearly every detail before him – even the torches that hung on them to give the place some light. The group walked on until they reached a chamber at the end of the hallway. It was smaller than the entrance hall, but still relatively large. Once everybody was inside (and looking around nervously), Dumbledore spoke again.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, before you ask, don't worry, we are not going to make you take any sort of test, as I am sure some of you have heard," he said and eyed a couple of kids who Voldy thought he saw were biting their nails. "In a few moments, you will all be taking your seats with your fellow housemates, but before that happens, you have to be sorted into your houses. For the rest of your years here at Hogwarts, this house will be your home."

Bella shivered a little at that, and Voldy saw her put her hands together and start muttering hopes under her breath. Voldy looked over at Lucius, who just shrugged.

Dumbledore grinned, and then continued. "The houses are Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Each of the houses values certain traits that will be taken for evaluation for each of you as you are being sorted. Your behavior will also be graded, to use a light term, with points given for your triumphs, but taken away for any rule-breaking. Do the points amount to anything? Not necessarily. It's just a fun tradition that has pretty much grown on us teachers over the years. Plus, it's fun to see the students get stressed about it."

Voldy was apparently the only one of the bunch who knew that the last remark was only a joke; the rest of the kids gasped in horror, and Voldy could hear some of them swear to themselves never to break any rules whatsoever. Even Bella and Lucius, who had been pretty mellow compared to the other kids until now, shook nervously.

"Alright, the sorting ceremony will begin shortly, we just have to do a few final tweaks," Dumbledore continued, trying to ease the stress a little by talking very lightly. "I'll be back soon, but in the meantime, you should all try and freshen up. I can tell that you're a little worked up after the trip." He looked over the group and smiled before leaving the chamber.

There was a silence which was only broken a couple of seconds later with someone whispering. Soon, the whispers became louder and louder, and eventually, the chamber was filled with voices chatting about Hogwarts and the sorting ceremony and the points. Voldy turned to Bella and Lucius, who were both still looking pretty nervous. He let out a small chuckle.

"Relax, guys, Dumbledore was just kidding," he said and patted them both on their shoulders to reassure them.

"How do you know?" Bella asked and bit her lip. "It's a magic school. They probably have tons of stuff that is totally legit! Like trying to freak us out with points!"

Voldy's eardrums stung unexpectedly at Bella's yelling, but persisted. "Nah, I know Dumbledore," he said as he moved Lucius' hand from his face (he had been pulling on his hair for about two minutes). "He'd never make us feel bad on purpose."

"You know him?" Lucius asked, his eyes widening, as if this was something extremely important. "How? This is your first day?"

Uh-oh. The thoughts were coming back. Voldy squinted and shook his head violently to try and shoo them away, and then tried to quickly come up with a logical reply. "Uh, well, when I was at the orphanage, he helped me with some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Bella asked, her nervous demeanor fading a bit, making room for a curious yet sympathetic one.

"Just… stuff. I'll tell you later," Voldy replied. His tummy tightened as he said that. He had had this exact conversation somewhere before, only with the roles reversed. He swallowed, and tried to think of something else to say to that the thoughts and memories wouldn't make him cry again.

His efforts proved to be unneeded when someone poked him in the back. He turned around to see a skinny, dark-haired girl with a big mouth smiling at him with wide eyes. Bella glared at her, for some reason.

"Hi!" the girl said cheerfully and waved.

"Uh, hi?" Voldy said, confused at the sudden confrontation. Why was this girl talking to him?

"So, uh, couldn't help but notice that your skin is really, really white," the girl continued, gesturing to Voldy's face. The moment she said that, Voldy noticed that the other kids had started to whisper and stare. Oh great, this again.

"Yeah, so?" he replied, trying not to sound too rude, although at this point, he sort of wanted to get this girl out of his face.

The girl kept looking at him like he was some kind of statue to be examined, her eyes still open wide. "And your hair is all gray too," she said, pointing to Voldy's slicked-back hair. "And what's with your nose? It's all… snakey."

"Leave him alone!" Bella suddenly cut in just as Voldy was about to tell the girl to back off. She actually had her wand out, and was pointing it at the girl. The other kids gasped at Bella's sudden outburst, and were now completely silent as they presumable waited for her to strike.

"Whoa, hey, I was just asking," the girl said, putting her hands up in defense. "I mean, he does look kinda weird—"

"Shut up!" Bella shouted, causing everybody, including Voldy, to jump. "Who are you to talk! With your bug eyes and huge mouth! Huh?"

The girl frowned, and Voldy could tell that her eyes were getting glossy. He put a hand on Bella's to try and get her to lower her wand, to relax her. "Hey, Bella, it's fine," he lied – he just didn't want to cause any major commotion on his first day.

Bella lowered her wand, still glaring at the girl, and then huffed. The girl folded her arms and turned around, and Voldy thought he heard her mumble something about hoping never to meet 'that one' ever again. Voldy frowned, sort of hurt, since this was the first time anybody had ever actually said something about his appearance straight to his face, and then patted Bella on the back. She turned to him once the girl was out of sight, pouting.

"Hey, uh, thanks for that," Voldy said awkwardly. He wasn't quite sure how to react to something like what she had done.

"That was just _awful_ of her!" Bella exclaimed. She then turned to Lucius, who had basically been playing innocent bystander like the rest of the kids. "And you! Why didn't you do anything?"

"I- I'm sorry, okay?" Lucius said nervously, obviously just as puzzled as Voldy as to what in the world he should say.

"Look, guys!" Voldy finally exclaimed as he saw that Bella was about to keep arguing and Lucius braced himself for what was about to come. "It's fine, alright? It's fine. I'm okay, she didn't hurt me."

Bella turned to Voldy with a somewhat hurt expression, but before she could say anything, the chamber door opened again, and Dumbledore peeked inside. "Alright then, first-years!" he said happily. "Form a line, and let's get started on your sorting."

With a little gulp, Voldy joined the kids in forming a relatively crowded line; nobody wanted to be left last, and so everybody tried to cram themselves somewhere in the front. The group then followed Dumbledore out of the chamber again, back into the hall they had come from, and then through a pair of immense double doors into the Great Hall.

There was a harmony of "ooh!"s and "ahh!"s as the group walked in, and Voldy couldn't help but join in on it. The Great Hall was by far the most bizarre place he had been in so far. It was lit up with thousands upon thousands of candles that floated in mid-air high above, and Voldy could see the starry night sky just beyond the candles. To their sides were four long tables, where Voldy could see the rest of the students sitting, and in front of them was another long table where the teachers were sitting. All the tables were full of golden plates and goblets, presumably prepared for a large feast or something.

Dumbledore led the first-years towards the teachers' table, where Voldy could see that they had planted a stool and a worn-out old hat on top of it. He poked Lucius in the shoulder and asked him without words if he knew what this was about, but Lucius just shrugged and shook his head. Biting his lip, Voldy looked back up at the hat, and saw Dumbledore approach it. The older wizard reached into his robes and pulled out a rather long roll of parchment, and then picked the hat up from the stool, looking over the group.

"Now, when I call your name, you'll put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," he said and then started reading from the parchment. "Abercrombie, Peter!"

A rather frail-looking boy shakily approached the stool. He stumbled to get up on it, and then Dumbledore placed the hat on his head. Voldy wasn't sure how in the world a hat would be able to sort anybody, but was then surprised to see a rip open near the brim like a mouth, and two buttons seemed to appear out of nowhere above it, like eyes. For a short moment, nothing happened, and the Peter kid was starting to shake even more, until—

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat shouted.

The table on the far left exploded with cheers as Peter went to sit down at it.

"Aubrey, Julia!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

The table second from the left was the one to cheer now, as a plump little girl with a blonde ponytail hopped off the stool and joined them. Voldy noticed just now that he was rubbing his fingers together nervously, and bit his lip. He turned to his two friends and saw that they were doing the same thing.

"Beta, Tyler!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The table on the right joined in cheering when the small boy with huge teeth (Voldy could only imagine he had some weird genetics) sat down at it.

"Black, Bellatrix!"

Upon hearing her name, Bella jumped and squeaked, though not as loud as Voldy would have expected. She squeezed his arm and looked into his eyes just before she went up to the stool. Voldy looked on as Dumbledore put the sorting hat on her head, covering her eyes completely. He saw her squirm on the stool, obviously hoping to hear the word she knew she wanted.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Bella let out a loud scream, as did the students at the table on the far right. Voldy and Lucius eyed each other, both feeling a bit more nervous than before. They had now heard every house mentioned except for Gryffindor, and yet nobody knew just what quality each of them treasured. Voldy swallowed and then looked on.

"Callaway, Darren" and "Choudry, Chris" both went into Gryffindor, and Voldy was certain that that house was probably the loudest of the bunch. A few more names were called that Voldy didn't quite catch, but he did hear that "Derrick, Denise" became a Ravenclaw.

"Hey, Voldy," Lucius suddenly said, making Voldy lose all focus on the sorting. "D'you think you can switch houses once it's done? I mean, if you don't like it?"

Voldy raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, I don't know," he said and scratched his chin.

"Because I'm really worried that I'll either be in Hufflepuff or Gryffindor, and I don't want my dad to hear about that," Lucius said, timidly pressing his index fingers together. "I don't wanna disappoint him, ya know?"

Without knowing what to say, Voldy simply nodded and patted Lucius on the shoulder. Having never had to worry about his parents' expectations, he didn't really know how to reply to that. He hoped he had assured Lucius that there was nothing to worry about, because he didn't really want to talk that much right now.

"Griffin, Arielle!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

As "Lestrange, Rodolphus", the pudgy boy that had accompanied Voldy, Bella and Lucius in the boat earlier that night, was sorted into Slytherin, Voldy couldn't help but bite his lip. What if they were being sorted compared to how popular the first few students were, and just crammed everybody in the same house eventually? That would mean that he would be sorted into either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff! He didn't want to be in another house from Bella. As annoyingly loud as she could be, she was also entertaining, and made him forget about his troubles.

"Malfoy, Lucius!"

Lucius paled instantly, and staggered up to the stool, almost falling down in the process. Dumbledore had barely placed the hat on his head when it hollered, "SLYTHERIN!" Lucius sighed heavily, and Voldy could practically see the worry-weight being lifted off his shoulders as he ran towards the Slytherin table.

It was only then that Voldy realized that he was alone again. Since that morning, he had had Bella and Lucius' company, but now that they weren't there anymore, he felt his heart beat a little faster. Now he was really worried about being sorted into a different house than them.

He barely noticed that "Munch, Rosalie" and "Nettles, Zach" were both sorted in Hufflepuff, simply because he was so wound up in his own thoughts. Maybe if he just ran out of the castle now, he wouldn't have to worry about waiting to be sorted. The teachers would all notice, and then have him do it immediately as punishment – he would actually prefer that!

Voldy heard "Pugnite, Ember" being sorted in Gryffindor, but then his worries made him black out again. What if he was going to be sorted into Slytherin, but then the hat would randomly decide to twist things around and put him in Hufflepuff or something? He couldn't bear that; not now that he had seen what types of people generally went there. Even Gryffindor felt more plausible than that! But oh, what if before he would even get sorted, the hat would give up and just leave everybody out that came after him? Voldy was about to start twitching in fear when—

"Quirrell, Quirinus!"

Time froze completely. Whatever feeling of fear or wanting to run away Voldy had had disappeared, and he found himself standing perfectly still in the midst of the crowd. He couldn't hear anything. How could he anyway? His rampaging heartbeat banged in his ears, making it impossible for him to distinguish little whispers from loud chatters.

It was all coming back again. His tummy stung, twisted, turned, leaped and dropped; his hands shook; he could feel the heat rush to his face; his heart beat insanely fast… Voldy could barely breathe from the intensity of everything going on in his body. His short gasps were very shallow, and even though he hardly noticed anything about him, he saw that the other kids were looking at him in a concerned way. But he didn't care. It was all coming back. The fever was back.

How the heck could he have forgotten? It was one of the last things he had heard from Quirrell; that they'd go to school together. Clearly, he had repressed his feelings and memories long enough to not even remember that he and Quirrell were the same age. How stupid! But still, hadn't Quirrell forgotten about him too? Wasn't that the reason why he hadn't sent him any letters for all this time?

"RAVENCLAW!"

Voldy snapped out of his thoughts and jerked his head upwards to try and have a look. How could he not have noticed Quirrell on the train? He still had his signature brown, scruffy hair, his rather large nose, and relatively thin body (although it was hard to tell because of the robe). In a way, he was still recognizable, and even though Voldy hadn't seen him in almost a year, he still remembered everything about him.

Just as quickly as time had frozen, it went back to normal again, and Voldy was aware of the fact that there were people around him. His darn fever was still making his body almost ache, but at least he didn't have to worry about it for now. Still, just hearing the name had really given him a hard time. He wondered if he should somehow approach Quirrell some time, just to see if he really had forgotten about him.

With his attention back on the sorting (though the fever was still present and the image of Quirrell still engraved in his mind), Voldy heard a couple of names being uttered. There was a "Randall, Seymour", "Ray, Elanor", "Redding, Harriet", and finally—

"Riddle, Tom!"

Voldy cringed at hearing his name once again, and then shook his head to try and snap himself back into reality. He rushed towards the stool and hurriedly planted himself on it, wanting to get everything over with as soon as possible. Dumbledore placed the hat on his head, and it only just fit him, so he was able to glance over the tables in front of him. He eyed the Ravenclaw table, and saw Quirrell with his back turned towards him, talking to a blonde girl (what was her name? Something… Denise? Whatever), obviously not paying attention. Yup, he had forgotten about him. Voldy sighed.

"Hmm," a voice suddenly said in his ear, making him jump. "Not bad, not bad at all. I see you're quite the clever tyke – ooh, and a good sense of loyalty, very nice – and what do we have here? Loads of cunning behavior. Oh, and a descendant of the man himself too! Well then, let's not waste any time. SLYTHERIN!"

The amount of relief Voldy felt was indescribable, and he couldn't help but smile. The Slytherin table cheered, and Voldy felt Dumbledore take the hat off him. He sprinted towards his housemates, looking for Bella and Lucius. As expected, Bella was jumping up and down and screaming, trying to get Voldy's attention, while Lucius just sat next to her and waved patiently. Voldy grinned and sat down next to him. Various students shook his hand and welcomed him to the house, though most simply just nodded in his direction as a sign of approval.

Bella clung to Voldy's arm as he had made himself comfortable and giggled. "Yay! We all made the same house!" she shouted gleefully, resulting in the others shushing her in order to hear the rest of the ceremony.

Lucius fanned his face, pretending to still be completely overwhelmed. "I'm just glad I don't have to face my dad and tell him I didn't make Slytherin," he whispered. "He'd freak out!"

Voldy was just about to reply when Bella yanked on his arm and pulled him closer to her. "Oh, look," she hissed angrily. "There's that girl who called you weird."

Voldy looked up, noticing that "Samuels, Meredith" had just been sorted into Ravenclaw. He looked back at Bella, who was still glaring hatefully at the girl. He put his free hand on her shoulder to try and calm her down.

"Relax, will you?" he said as he rubbed her back. "She's not in the same house as us. Stop worrying about it."

Bella sighed and (finally!) let go of Voldy's arm. "I know, I know," she admitted. "It's just… I don't like to see her make fun of you and stuff. Because I don't care that you look different, ya know?"

_We can be d- different together now._

Voldy shook his head violently as a familiar voice rang in his head. For some reason, Bella had this odd way of constantly reminding him of Quirrell. Why was that? She couldn't possibly know him, so how was she able to reference their conversations over and over again? Besides, anything that reminded him of Quirrell now made him feel even worse than it would have over the last year, now that he knew that Quirrell didn't even remember him. No, Bella couldn't possibly know. She wouldn't purposely make him feel bad. Or would she?

"Hey, Voldy, you okay?"

Lucius' voice snapped Voldy back to reality, and he saw that he had been looking at him in a concerned way. "Uh, yeah," he replied. "Yeah, I'm just, uh… thankful for… for Bella standing up for me." He had no idea what he was even talking about, but he hoped it would get by as a valid excuse.

Bella gave him a quick hug and smiled wide. "You're welcome," she said sweetly. "I just think you're too amazing to be made fun of."

Voldy sighed. If she kept doing this, it would be pretty difficult for him to try and forget Quirrell like he apparently had. But still, at least he wasn't alone anymore. He had Bella and Lucius now, so he wouldn't have to worry about being lonely for at least the remainder of the school year.

He looked up at where the sorting had taken place, and saw that Dumbledore was now taking both the hat and the stool back to where he had taken it. Behind the teachers' table, an elderly man (even more so than Dumbledore) in blue and yellow robes stood up, his arms raised.

"Let the feast begin."


	14. Chapter 14

When it all came down to it, the very first day – well, night – of school actually went pretty well for Voldy. The sorting hadn't gone nearly as badly as he had expected; everybody seemed to fit and like their houses very much; the feast had been scrumptious; it had just overall gone very smoothly. The only real setback was that one quarrel with the Meredith girl, but even that felt like it was way in the past now. Well, that and the fact that a certain someone seemed to have forgotten about Voldy, but he was determined to put that behind him. It was too painful to think about anyway.

After the feast, a couple of kids called prefects (older kids that served some kind of authority responsibilities, Voldy heard) had led the first years into their dormitories. There, they would spend most of their free time and be expected to do their homework. Voldy felt a bit iffy about the placement of the Slytherin dormitory, though. Of all places, they had to have chosen a dungeon.

Once they were inside the dorm, even more spookiness greeted them: a large, low-ceilinged dungeon-like common room, lit only by greenish lamps that hung on the walls. Although it looked sort of cold and spooky, what with the lack of light and the eerie green that spread throughout it, the common room looked rather cozy. Voldy assumed it was because of the black and dark green leather sofas that were spread throughout the room. The moment the first-years stepped inside, Voldy could tell that the Slytherin dorm had a very grand but cold atmosphere. It would definitely take some time getting used to.

The prefects then told the first-years about the respective sleeping halls for boys and girls, each on the opposite end of the common room. Once everybody was inside, the prefects told everybody to go up to the sleeping halls to get some rest for the morning. After all, school would officially start then.

Voldy and Lucius bid goodnight to Bella, who waved sweetly at them both before joining the other girls in the girls' room, and then stormed into the boys' room to tuck in for the night. Just like the common room, the sleeping hall had a cold atmosphere, culminated by the green light coming from the silver lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Against the walls, there were a bunch of four-posters with green silk hangings, and Voldy saw that everybody's trunks and extra luggage had already been brought into the room and placed beside a specific bed. He looked for his own stuff and then promptly plumped down on his assigned bed. Luckily, Lucius had gotten the one just beside him.

To be honest, Voldy really didn't feel like getting ready for bed, and just lay there for a while, fully clothed and his shoes still on. Lucius, along with most of the other boys, was more sensible and got ready right away. He then hopped into bed and lay on his back, hands behind his head. Voldy rolled over to the side to face him, suddenly feeling very tired.

"This is so weird," Lucius half-whispered. "I mean, I knew I'd come here, but… Actually being here? Knowing I'm gonna study magic? And I made Slytherin? This is just so unreal."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Voldy replied simply and nodded. "I was kinda nervous when we first got here. Ya know, since we're first-years and all, but now it's kinda cool." He looked up at the ceiling and then around the room, taking in the atmosphere. "Literally."

Lucius chuckled and then gave out a little yawn. "Well, I think I'm gonna go to sleep," he said as he crawled under the covers. "First day of school tomorrow. Gotta wake up early to get our schedules and stuff."

"Yeah, guess I'll hit the hay too," Voldy replied and then lazily stood up again to get ready. His pajamas and toothbrush had (thankfully!) been packed fairly late in the process, so they were some of the first things to come out of his trunk. When he was ready, he hopped into bed again, glad to finally be able to relax a bit.

"G'night Voldy, see you tomorrow," he heard Lucius say from the other bed just before he draped the little curtains on his bed to get some privacy.

"Yeah, g'night," Voldy replied and did the same thing to his bed. He then wrapped himself in his covers and lay on his back for a few minutes. Lucius was right. This was pretty unreal, now that he thought about it. In almost a year, his life had changed completely. He had finally moved to a different environment; he was actually surrounded by kids his age for once; he had made new friends over the course of a few days; and he had even been sorted into the house that was named after his ancestor.

But still. Even though everything seemed to be going swimmingly for the young wizard, Voldy couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. Because there was. As much as he didn't want to think about it, the most crucial thing to make his stay at Hogwarts almost perfect wasn't there. And if things kept going like they had done over the last year, it would never be there.

Voldy rolled over to his side and curled up into a more comfortable position. Why wouldn't Quirrell even look at his sorting? Was it because Dumbledore had used his real name instead of 'Voldemort'? Was that it? He had never actually told Quirrell his real name, so maybe that was it. But at the same time, everybody watched every single sorting, regardless of name or gender or age or anything. That, and Voldy did look very different from everybody else, so he kind of stood out. So why would Quirrell look away?

A slight shiver went down Voldy's spine as he came to the realization that maybe Quirrell had simply moved on. That he had found new friends and a new life with his new parents and Voldy was just a thing of the past for him. He would talk about Voldy to his new friends as just some kid who helped him realize that he was capable of communication. Like all their times together meant nothing. Clearly, they didn't. Clearly, Quirrell had forgotten about him, or at least didn't care about him anymore.

It was only when he felt the tears start rolling down his face that Voldy realized just how tightly he was clutching onto his sheets.

\---

"Okay, Hogwarts is officially awesome!" Bellatrix exclaimed as she, Voldy and Lucius walked out of their fourth class of the day, Potions. "Everything's awesome! The books, the stuff, the classes… Even the teachers are awesome! Just wow!"

Refraining from telling Bella to relax because the castle walls made her loud voice echo more than usual, Voldy simply grinned enthusiastically. "Yeah! It's like they always pick the perfect person to teach these things. And they're actually pretty good at it too."

"I dunno, I still think the Charms teacher is kinda weird," Lucius added skeptically. "He's just so… small, ya know? It's really hard to focus when he's prancing around all old but somehow short enough to be a first-year or something."

"Hey, speaking of first-years, have you two decided on what you're gonna do with that empty period on Wednesdays?" Voldy asked the others. Apparently, on Wednesdays, all first-years had a gap in third period which could be filled with any kind of activity they chose. Sports, arts, clubs, anything the school had to offer was saved for that one timeslot.

Bella put a finger to her chin in thought. "Uh, not really," she said, looking upwards as she kept pondering. "But I was kinda thinking of joining the dueling club. Ya know, just to get some practice with my spells and stuff."

"Huh. Not bad, Bella. You'll probably knock 'em all dead," Lucius said and hit Bella playfully in the shoulder, chuckling – Bella failed to hide her not-so-amused expression. "What about you, Voldy?"

At first, Voldy was sort of caught off guard and wasn't sure how to reply. He had only really asked that question to see what the others had wanted. He wasn't expecting to have to answer for himself. After all, his main interest was in something that he, since he was just a little kid, was certain was the one thing that set him apart from every single boy in the world. Sure, he knew that Bella and Lucius were his friends and that he could and should be able to trust them, but still. It felt kind of dubious to just admit it right then and there with no build-up or anything.

Voldy sighed. Oh well. If there was ever a moment to prove if these two were worthy of being friends with, it was now: "I was actually thinking about the dancing club." The sentence was short, simple, and to the point. If the others found it funny, it was all right there, so they could start laughing at any time. However, much to Voldy's surprise, they didn't. In fact, if anything, they both seemed to like his choice.

"Ooh! That's a _great_ pick, Voldy!" Bella exclaimed excitedly, skipping a little as they walked. Clearly, it was genuine, and Voldy was relieved to see it.

"Ya know, I was actually thinking about that too," Lucius cut in, causing Voldy to sharply turn to him in surprise. Did he really just say that? No, scratch that. Did he really mean that? Lucius paused and tightened his lips and narrowed his eyebrows, a hint of a blush appearing in his cheeks. "What? What are you looking at? I just said the same thing you did."

"Yes. Yes you did," Voldy replied, still just staring at Lucius, unable to believe that this was true. "I'm just kinda, uh… Really? You like dancing?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Lucius said, looking a little less protective now. He too seemed to be realizing that they were both actually serious. They both then abruptly stopped in the middle of a crowded hallway (Bella of course doing the same) and glared at each other for a couple of seconds before Lucius spoke again. "Where, and when?"

"Wool's Wizard orphanage, six years ago," Voldy replied hastily, his eyes still peering into Lucius'. "I found a muggle radio that I hexed into working and liked the music coming out of it and started to move to the beat. What about you?"

"My back yard, three years ago," Lucius said just as hurriedly as Voldy had, also not breaking the intense stare. "Some show dance group was advertising their latest thing on the street and I really enjoyed watching them and wanted to do the same thing."

The two of them now backed away slightly, still not breaking eye contact. From the corner of his eye, Voldy could see that Bella, as well as several students that passed them in the hallways, was now looking rather freaked out by all this. Deciding that they had had enough shenanigans for today, Voldy simply pointed at Lucius with a smirk. "Did we just become dance buddies?" he said in a sort of sing-song tone.

"Yup!" Lucius exclaimed, and the two boys then shared a long-anticipated laugh after all that. They patted each other on the back accordingly and then kept walking, Bella following suit, raising an eyebrow at them.

"You guys are so weird," she said and shook her head. "Now come on, we're gonna be late for our next class!"

As they all proceeded to skip ahead so as to not miss any vital information in their upcoming class, Voldy replayed the whole scene with Lucius again in his mind. After all these years of thinking he was silly and stupid for liking dancing, he had finally found another boy with the same interest. At this point, he didn't even care about Lucius' other hobbies or anything. He actually liked dancing. That was enough to make his friendship worth it.

Voldy, Bella and Lucius quickly reached the outside of the school, and Voldy was relieved to see that there were first-years who were much more nervous and lost than he had felt that morning. Before he could focus on other students for much longer, though, he felt Bella yank on his arm and he continued walking along with them. The three friends finally reached the place they were searching for: gigantic, ancient-looking greenhouses. Bella took out her timetable and examined it, then looked back up at the greenhouses.

"I think this is it, guys," she said lamely, obviously not intrigued in the slightest.

"Greenhouses? What could they possibly teach us in greenhouses?" Lucius asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"What else?" said Bella and shoved her timetable in Lucius' face. "Herbology."

At the exact same time Lucius let out a disappointed groan, Voldy – for some reason – felt his tummy jump. Was this really an appropriate time for that to start? Why get feverish over that? "Wait, Herbology?" he had to ask as they all approached the door to one of the greenhouses. "As in, herbs? Plants? And stuff?" He wasn't quite sure why, but the thought of being around plants was somehow unsettling to Voldy.

Bella let out a small giggle and put her head on Voldy's shoulder. "Duh, Voldy. We're in a greenhouse," she said and expanded her arm to put emphasis on her words. She then dragged him along, with Lucius following behind, as they reached their supposed classroom.

Just as one would expect, the greenhouse was filled with all kinds of plants, but they were unlike anything Voldy had ever seen. Some had leaves that were bigger than their pots, others actually looked sentient and ready to either attack or let out a defensive shriek once they passed them. The greenhouse itself showed numerous signs of being very old, including vines and weeds stretching out on the glass, moss growing in various corners, and even the muddy surface beneath their feet had been stepped on so much that it more resembled a floor than anything else.

As they walked on, Voldy was surprised to see that there were actual tables that resembled desks inside. Each table held two students, and Voldy saw that some of them were already being used. While trying to get a glimpse on which one of the houses would accompany them for this class (each class so far had been shared with two houses), Bella yanked on Voldy's arm yet again, trying to get him to a table in the center of the classroom.

"It's the only one that's actually clean and not all fungusy!" she yelled as she pulled him along. Unfortunately for her, Lucius had already beaten her to it and was now sitting comfortably in one of the chairs, grinning triumphantly at her. Bella stopped in front of the table and looked around, scrunching her face in disgust at the other tables. "Lucius! We wanted to sit there!" she whined, and Voldy half-expected her to stop her feet in aggression.

"Sorry, but there's no way I'm sitting anywhere else but here," Lucius said as he folded his arms, clearly determined not to go anywhere. "Besides, my mom paid lots of money for this robe, and there's no way I'm messing it up on my first day."

"Aw, come on, Lucius," Bella said and did a little twirl. "Look, my robe is just as new as yours! I wanna sit at the clean table!"

"Okay, guys! Wow!" Voldy had to butt into this little rich-kids problem argument. The others silenced instantly and just waited for him to continue. "Look, okay. There's a table right next to this one. I'll sit there, and you two can sit at the 'clean' table. Everyone happy?"

"Well, I—" Bella began hesitantly, but Lucius interrupted before she could say anything else.

"Sure!" he exclaimed and then pulled a very disappointed-looking Bella into the chair next to him.

"Great. Wow, you guys can argue about the weirdest things," Voldy said as he sat down on the table that was next to Bella and Lucius'. It was much dirtier and more ill-kept than theirs, but he decided he didn't want to be as picky about where he sat in class as the other two. That was just being stupid.

Voldy threw his schoolbag on the table and then rested his head on it, waiting for the class to start. Compared to how long the walk had been, they had arrived surprisingly early. Soon, though, he began hearing more voices and chatter, indicating that more students had come into the greenhouse. Among those voices was a very peculiar, nasally voice that seemed to dominate the noise (though it wasn't nearly as loud as Bella's).

"Look! Over there in the center! There's some room! Come on!" she shouted, and then Voldy heard a few people run towards the place where he was sitting. "I'll sit with my cutie over here, and you can find your spots right there!"

Wow, that girl's voice was really irritating for some reason. She sounded so dumb and weak. Voldy rolled his eyes as he heard chairs being dragged on the ground just behind him, already deciding that if he had to share a class with both Bella and this girl, this would quickly turn into his least favorite.

"Oh no. Do I have to sit next to him?" a somewhat familiar voice complained. Why was it familiar?

"Kinda, there's no other spot left," said the nasally-voiced girl.

"Ugh, fine," the familiar voice said, and then Voldy felt someone sit down next to him and saw a schoolbag being thrown on the table, right next to his. This prompted him to sit up and look at whoever had sat down next to him, and his previous thoughts about Herbology being his least favorite class gained even more weight.

It was the Meredith girl. And she did not look pleased about having ended up next to him.

Trying to at least be polite after their last encounter, Voldy sheepishly did a little wave and smiled awkwardly. "Uh, hey."

Meredith looked at him for about a millisecond and then quickly turned away again, frowning. "Hi," she spat out harshly, as if she knew nothing more annoying than having to sit where she was.

Voldy cocked an eyebrow at her and then turned away as well. _Fine, be that way. I was trying to be nice…_ he thought as his dislike for both the class and Meredith rose in his mind. He absentmindedly looked over to Bella and Lucius, and noticed that Bella (who was sitting in the chair further away from him) was glaring at his tablemate, fists clenched. Lucius seemed to think nothing of it all, and just shrugged, as if to say that they were just being typical girls. Voldy couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.

Suddenly, as he heard someone – presumably the teacher – shout "Good afternoon, everyone," Voldy came to a realization that made his tummy drop. He was sitting next to the Meredith girl. Meredith was a Ravenclaw. That meant that the house Slytherin shared Herbology with was Ravenclaw. And that also meant—

Oh no. No, no, no. Not in Herbology. _Anything_ but stinking Herbology. Potions, he could have handled. Transfiguration would have been iffy, but probably manageable. Charms maybe would have slid on the difficulty scale. But Herbology? No. Oh no, this could not be happening.

With his head still on his schoolbag, Voldy slowly turned to look behind him, to check if he was able to see the people sitting at the tables there. The first one only had two girls he had never seen before, but the one behind them was populated by the blonde girl from the sorting night (what was it, Denise?) and, of course, Quirinus Quirrell. The moment Voldy saw his former best friend's face, he turned away immediately and dug his face into his schoolbag again. After the sorting night, he just couldn't bear to look at the boy. And just as he had expected, the darn fever was crawling back. Not only did his tummy drop until he felt like there were no insides left, but he could feel himself starting to tremble and shake. He squinted as he tried to fight back the inevitable fever-inducing memories and thoughts, and bit his lip to try and focus on something else. This honestly could not be happening. Not here. Not like this.

Before he could wallow more into his own pity, however, Meredith elbowed him in the side, which caused him to let out a yelp. He sat up straight and rubbed the spot where she had hurt him, and frowned at her.

"Pay attention, _Riddle_ ," she hissed, glaring at him.

"Thanks for the tip, _Samuels_ ," Voldy hissed back behind gritted teeth. He then looked up at the teacher (who had written his name, Herbert Beery, with floating, glowing letters in the air) and tried to concentrate on the actual class. But with Meredith as his tablemate and Quirrell somewhere in the room, he imagined that it would take more effort than usual to pay attention.

Oh yes. Herbology would definitely be Voldy's least favorite class.

\---

Later that day, the three friends were signing up for their Wednesday activities. Voldy and Lucius of course picked the dancing club (giving each other little smirks as they did so) while Bella signed up for the dueling club. She did so very roughly and almost tore the parchment when she wrote her name. For that matter, she had barely said anything since they had exited the greenhouses and seemed to be in total rage-mode. As she, Lucius and Voldy walked back to the dungeons, she was actually starting to pant through her nose like some kind of madwoman. Voldy looked at Lucius who simply shrugged and raised his eyebrow, clearly having no idea what was up with their friend.

"Password?" the painting on the entrance to the common room whimsically asked as they approached it, only to have half of the word drowned by Bella's shout.

" _Magorum Fidem_ , now let us in!"

The door opened slowly, but Bella promptly pushed it so it would open faster, and then stormed inside. Voldy and Lucius followed, both feeling very cautious about their actions. What on earth was up with Bella all of a sudden? As the door closed behind them, Bella plumped down in a chair, arms folded, and pouted. Lucius approached her carefully, though Voldy could definitely tell that he was legitimately concerned about his own wellbeing.

"Uh, Bella?" he said, slowly stepping closer to her. "What's up?"

Bella let out a loud huff and threw her hands in the air in frustration. "Ugh! I just can't believe that girl!" she shouted, and Voldy hoped that nobody was trying to nap in the sleeping rooms or something. "Can you? I mean, wow! She hit Voldy, she wouldn't look at him, she barely let him do anything in the project, and just ugh! How can you stand her?"

"That's what you're upset about?" Voldy said, trying to hold back a snicker. Really? That was why she had been so angry for the past hours? In a way, Voldy found that strangely amusing, because honestly, he didn't really care at all about the Meredith girl. "Why does she bug you so much? It's not like she kept frowning at you every time she decided to look."

"Yeah, well—" Bella began, and then hesitated, her angry expression melting off the moment she noticed how calm Voldy was about the whole thing. Just as quickly as her temper had risen, it went back down again, and Lucius was more comfortable next to her – he even dared to rub her arm a bit. "It's just- I… I just can't stand her because I know she doesn't like you because you're different. You heard what she said before the sorting. And now she's acting like you're… like you're owl-droppings or something!"

With those final words, the boys noticed that the semi-rage was back, and Lucius backed off again. Voldy just stared at Bella, unable to think of anything to reply with. He was just so surprised that Bella actually cared that much about Meredith odd hatred against him, even if it didn't bother him in the slightest. Cautiously, he approached Bella and sat down next to her, so she was sitting between the two boys now. Only now did he notice how heavily she was breathing – was she feverish?

"I just really, really don't like that girl…" she whispered, frowning, and her teeth gritted.

"Hey, uh, listen," he began in an attempt to calm her down. "Thanks, I really appreciate that. But you don't have to take it _that_ personally, ya know? It's fine. I don't care. She's the owl-droppings."

"Yeah!" Lucius cut in, and Bella turned to him. "Besides, I'm pretty sure she'd be really afraid of you if you ever started talking to her. I mean, you _really_ handed it to her last night! Did you see how she backed away? She was so scared!"

For something so stupid as that, Voldy was surprised to see that Bella actually smiled when Lucius finished talking. She then nuzzled his shoulder as (Voldy guessed) a way of saying 'thank you', then turned around to hug Voldy's arm for seemingly the same reason. While Voldy did feel a small tingle in his tummy for some reason, he was certain that it was only because he was relieved that Bella was finally at ease.

Wow. First the Meredith girl had been really, really mean to Voldy for no reason, and now Bella seemed to absolutely loathe her for a very generic reason. And not only that, but it took less than a minute to get Bella out of her rage fest and calm down again. Voldy, having not had that much contact with other kids his age, wasn't sure if this was normal girl behavior or not, but he was fairly certain that boys would seldom, if ever, act this way.

As Bella snuggled closer to him (cooing some nonsense he didn't hear), Voldy decided that on the whole, girls were just _bizarre_.


	15. Chapter 15

"Think in boxes, it'll make it easier to memorize! No, no, it's three beats, Miss Finley. _Three_. Girls in the corner, move your arms a little higher. Don't look at your feet, Mister Dorris! Ah, Riddle! Malfoy! Excellent footwork, both of you!"

It was official. Wednesdays were Voldy's favorite days, if only because of third period. It only ever lasted for about two hours, sometimes even less, but the dancing club was Voldy's absolute favorite thing about Hogwarts (aside from the fact that it was a magic school, of course).

He had been relieved to find out that among the dozens upon dozens of girls, he and Lucius weren't the only boys in the club. Voldy wasn't sure if it was because there were no open slots in other clubs or because their parents had pressured them into it, but he liked knowing that there were more boys at this school who liked to dance. They had no sense of rhythm or direction, but it was at least nice to know.

The group was learning a basic waltz right now, and because it was such an easy starting point, Voldy felt he actually had to hold back a bit because his partner (a relatively petite Asian girl) had obviously never danced before. She was very clumsy and kept messing up her steps, but when Voldy had finally told her to let him lead, she had started to get more comfortable with it.

Voldy glanced over the room, and saw that Lucius was having similar problems with his partner. He also noted that Lucius himself was having problems with it. Voldy couldn't help but grin at that for some reason. Lucius had always seemed so elegant, so seeing him stumble a little every two circles or so was pretty amusing. Voldy snapped back into reality when his partner let out a little yelp as she almost fell over after twisting her foot a bit too far.

"I'm sorry!" she shouted and winced, her hold on Voldy tightening so as to not collapse on the floor. "I'm just, um- I'm not very good at this…"

"It's okay, I've got you," Voldy said, trying to be reassuring – her momentary stutter had distracted him for a second. He shook his head when an image was threatening to enter his mind, and carried on. Now Bella wasn't the only one who reminded him of… _that_.

After a couple of minutes, Voldy heard someone clap their hands loudly, and then a voice echoed through the room (amplified by magic, Voldy guessed). "Alright everyone, great job today," said the instructor, Madam Coleman. "Some of you have improved since last week which is of course fantastic, but I want you to think about the rhythm next time because I will be bringing some music for you. So your homework for this week will be to figure out not just how to count the beat, but to _feel_ the beat." She pressed her hand to her chest to emphasize her final words, and then grinned enthusiastically at the group. "Okay then. I'll see you all next week!"

Voldy nodded in her direction and then let go of his partner, who bowed awkwardly before dashing away to where her friends were. Not even bothering with names, this one, Voldy gathered. Oh well. In a group as large as this, Voldy supposed he would never be able to remember any names aside from maybe Lucius' and Madam Coleman's, so he didn't really mind. He shook his body a little before striding towards the benches where everybody kept their schoolbags during the lessons. Lucius was already there, smiling stupidly. Voldy gave him an odd look, which only made his face look even more sheepish.

"I forgot to practice this week," Lucius admitted and shrugged in defeat. "Was it obvious?"

With a snort, Voldy swung his schoolbag over his shoulder. "Probably not to everyone else, but I can tell when someone loses a beat in a waltz. You know that," he said and shoved Lucius lightly, trying to get him to wipe that ridiculous expression off his face. Lucius laughed.

"Yeah well, you had three more years to practice all this, so don't rub it in," he said as the two of them started walking towards the Great Hall. The dance club met in a room a couple of hallways away from it, on the ground floor, so it didn't take them long to get there for lunch. Good thing, too, because Voldy imagined that the classes would get progressively more difficult with each week and he did not want to resort to climbing stairs for that.

"I don't get why we're still doing all those old dances, though. Like waltzes and salsas and stuff," Lucius continued as they walked on, passing several third-years as they did so. "When will we start making up our own dances? With swoosh and swash and all that!" he added, whirling his hands in the air and stretching one leg outwards.

"Come on, we're just in our first year and we've only been in that club for like two months," Voldy said, patting Lucius on the back to urge him to keep walking so he didn't choke on the laughter he was holding back. "I don't think we get to make anything up until next year. Maybe even later, I dunno."

Lucius groaned playfully as they turned at the last corner, the entrance to the Great Hall now visible. "But still! I have tons of ideas for new dances we could do, and I don't wanna forget them yet!" Lucius exclaimed excitedly. "Don't get me wrong, I love the old stuff because without it, we wouldn't even be dancing in the first place. But I just wanna try something new, ya know?"

"Okay, dancing queen," Voldy said and rolled his eyes, earning a punch in the arm from a laughing Lucius.

The two of them entered the Great Hall, and the smell wafting through the air reminded Voldy of how little he had eaten for breakfast that morning. They turned towards the Slytherin table, and Voldy tried to see if Bella was already there. She wasn't, so he simply pulled Lucius to the first available seats he saw. The plates filled themselves with food instantly (as they usually did, Voldy had learned), and he and Lucius started stuffing their faces greedily, neither of them caring about the sideways glances they were both receiving from their peers.

Finishing an entire glass of pumpkin juice in one gulp, Voldy let out a satisfied sigh and put down the cutlery for a second. He looked at Lucius, who was too busy trying to cut a line of fat off his piece of steak to even notice that Voldy had taken a break. It was odd, seeing someone so comfortable in his presence again. Oh yes, they had been friends for a while now, but it still baffled Voldy how well acquainted he and Lucius had become after this short time. After thinking that he would never befriend anyone ever again.

All of a sudden, both Voldy and Lucius were greeted with pats (well, more like shoves) on the back and someone pushed their way between them and hopped into the space, ignoring the surprised glare from Lucius.

"Hi, boys!" Bella said, linking both her arms with theirs. Lucius dropped his fork and huffed, looking to the side, obviously annoyed by the interruption. "Ooh, dueling club was awesome today! We learned this new spell, and I was the first one to get it right! And! And I even got to show how to do it in front of the others!"

Voldy was about to say congratulations and then ask Bella to let go when Lucius interrupted. "This is like the third time in a row you've done that," he said, all annoyance suddenly erased from his face as if it had never been there. Bella nodded enthusiastically, her hold tightening. Voldy wondered if she would ever let go now. "You must be the best witch in the group!"

"I sorta am," Bella said, finally releasing her grip, and leaned into Voldy's shoulder. "Well, there's one boy who's _almost_ as good as I am, but he always gets it second. I think he's a bit of an overachiever or something, because he always looks so jealous when I get the spells right before he does." She giggled. "It's actually pretty funny sometimes."

Lucius looked as though he had been trying to hold in a comment for a while now, and when Bella stopped talking, he finally broke. " _Please_ tell me he's a Gryffindor, because that would make it even funnier!" he said giddily, and Voldy couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. Another thing he had learned during his first couple of months at school was the house rivalries, particularly between Slytherin and Gryffindor. He found it amusing, of course, but he felt like Lucius and Bella always made a deal of noticing everything that Slytherin did better than Gryffindor. It got very tiresome very fast.

"Sadly no, but he's a Ravenclaw, which makes me feel even better about myself," Bella replied. "Because, ya know, Ravenclaws always have to be smarter than everybody, so it's really funny to be better than they are."

Voldy had practically jumped at the word 'Ravenclaw', but tried not to show any signs of the fact that his mind was racing. As Bella and Lucius continued discussing the particular Ravenclaw in question (who according to Bella always tried to be especially close to her in order to prove himself or something), Voldy shut his eyes tight in order not to start thinking about another person from the same house. This was getting very annoying, especially considering the fact that Bella constantly did this, either by talking about some random nonsense or by being very close. Was she actively trying to do this all the time? Could she read his mind and was trying to constantly remind him because she knew how torturous it was?

While lost in his mind, Voldy must have either pulled a strange expression or made a sound, because soon he felt Bella softly running her hand up and down his arm. He opened his eyes and turned towards her, and suddenly Bella's face had changed completely. Her eyes were wide and curious, but at the same time concerned, and her excited little smile had morphed into a worried look that Voldy had never seen on her. It was very bizarre, and Voldy could have sworn he felt his breath hitch a bit when he looked her over.

"What is it, Voldy?" she asked in a tone that Voldy had never heard either. He swallowed and looked over at Lucius, who seemed surprisingly concerned as well. "You've been doing this a lot lately, is everything okay?" Bella continued, running her hand down to meet Voldy's. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought he had felt a small spark when they touched. But that would have been silly.

"Does it have something to do with that thing you said you'd tell me later?" Lucius asked, sounding genuinely curious, as he scooted a bit closer. "About that 'stuff' Dumbledore helped you with at the orphanage?"

Voldy just stared at Lucius for a moment. How in the world did he still remember that? Voldy had only mentioned any kind of 'stuff' once to Lucius and Bella, and even then it had just been something he had thrown out there to keep them from asking questions. The more his two friends looked at him expectantly, the more Voldy felt like maybe he should tell them. On one hand, it was something very private, and something that he didn't really want to spread out like any other kind of information about himself. But on the other hand, these two had definitely proven themselves to be very trustworthy, so maybe it was time to finally let them know what – or rather, who – was constantly on his mind.

He had a look around, and even though most of the students were too occupied with either finishing their lunch or talking to their friends to even consider listening in on what he was about to say, Voldy still didn't want to risk completely exposing himself. He looked back at Bella and Lucius. "Yeah, it's that," he admitted, and instantly, Bella's hold on his hand tightened. What was that about?

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bella offered, and even though she tried to be discreet about it, Voldy saw that she lightly elbowed Lucius so that he would back her up.

Voldy shook his head. "No, not right now anyway," he said. At that, Bella simply nodded understandingly, and then slowly let go of his hand.

"Okay," she said softly. "Just- Whenever you do want to talk about it, we're here to listen. Because, well, you kinda need to tell us about this sooner or later, or you're just going to explode."

Despite the obvious disappointment in Bella's tone (and Lucius' face), Voldy smiled at both of them. Yes, one day, when they weren't in the crowded Great Hall, and he had planned what he was going to say beforehand, he would tell them all about it. He wouldn't name any names, of course, but they deserved to at least know what was bothering him. _That's what friends do, right?_

\---

Two more months passed, and Voldy still hadn't said a thing about the 'stuff'. He knew that both Lucius and Bella were very curious about it (especially Bella), but they didn't push him, thank goodness. It wasn't until the holidays that Voldy was finally able to find both the right moment and the right words to convey his thoughts. The main reason why it took so long for him was that half the time, he wasn't even sure how he was going to start. From the beginning? Or from the time the fever had started driving him crazy? Or maybe somewhere in between? Should he mention details, or just tell them that they were always accidentally reminding him of someone from his past?

Finally, he had decided that it would probably be best to just tell them the basics, keep it short and simple, but still tell them why it all hurt so much. Because it did. Every time. It had been four months since school started, and Voldy still wasn't able to forget Quirrell. Yes, he had made new friends, and yes, school was an excellent distraction, but it just wasn't enough. He couldn't move on or forget this easily.

It was the day before students could be sent home for the holidays, in case they wanted to celebrate with their families. Bella and Lucius were among the bunch that was leaving, but Voldy had no business going back to the orphanage, so he decided to stay at the school. Since this was the last day that he would be seeing his two friends for a while, he decided that now would be the perfect timing. Other students were busy either packing or preparing for the ride home, and the ones who stayed at school like Voldy weren't thinking much of what was happening with others. So really, it couldn't have been a better timing.

Voldy had arranged to meet with Bella and Lucius in the Slytherin common room after dinner, where he knew that they wouldn't be disturbed for at least a couple of minutes. They had both agreed, and soon the three of them were huddled close, just in case the other students would barge in or out or start listening in. Voldy really wished he knew some kind of spell that would make it so no one could hear what they were saying. Either way, there they were, Bella and Lucius looking as concerned as ever, and Bella holding Voldy's hand like she always did when she could tell that something was wrong (which, admittedly, wasn't often, and Voldy was starting to think that she just liked to hold it, but he appreciated it all the same).

"So, Voldy?" Bella urged when Voldy had taken a few too many deep breaths to prepare. He honestly hadn't expected this to be this difficult, really. "Can you tell us?"

Voldy nodded slowly, and repositioned himself before clearing his throat. This was it. "Right. So, you both know I was at this wizard orphanage, that's nothing new. But this one time, there was a new kid, and he looked kinda lonely, so I went and talked to him. He was really shy at first, and didn't really trust me or anything, but we started getting along. He was a good wizard too, really good with spells and stuff.

"Anyway, he'd been through a lot, and so Dumbledore was helping him out – that's how I got to know him first – and then I started helping him too. You know, to cope with it and not be afraid all the time. And so we were best friends, and he's the first friend I ever made, and I cared for him a lot." Still do, actually, he didn't say, but the thought was there.

Even though Voldy knew that he was pretty much rambling and that what he was saying didn't really make sense, Bella and Lucius seemed to understand, and that made him feel much better. What helped even more was the fact that Bella was softly running her thumb across the top of Voldy's hand, which was unbelievably soothing.

"So yeah, we were really close," Voldy continued. "And we did everything together, and I always looked forward to seeing him every day and it was just… amazing. He was amazing. And he made me feel good, as a friend." _But also a bit weird and tingly and warm. But that's a stupid thing to say so I won't tell you that._ "And so when he got adopted, it was tough for me, because I was losing my best and only friend in the world." At this point, Bella had stopped her thumb movement and had tightened her hold, as if to reassure Voldy that she was still there. Lucius just nodded in understanding – Voldy wondered for a moment if he had been through something similar. Probably not, though.

"He promised that he'd always remember me and that he would write me, but I think he just forgot me, because I stopped getting letters from him one day, and I haven't heard from him since. Then Dumbledore showed up and got me into Hogwarts, and that's when I saw him again. During the sorting. And he wouldn't even look at me, like I was invisible." Oh no, Voldy's voice was cracking at remembering that day. He felt like it had happened yesterday, and it hurt just as much now as it had done when it had happened. "We even share a class with him, and he just keeps ignoring me like I'm nothing to him. Like he doesn't even remember that we used to be so close." Voldy stopped talking for a second, but regretted it instantly when he started speaking again, because his voice sounded so broken and hoarse. "I just really, really miss him," he managed to croak, and right then and there he allowed his previously unshed tears to fall. There were simply too many memories and emotions and sensations, and he couldn't take it.

"Oh, Voldy!" Bella exclaimed once Voldy had finished, and then flung her arms around him, holding him tight. "I'm so, so, so sorry about this," she said softly as she rubbed soothing circles along Voldy's back. She really did sound sorry, and that was more than enough proof for Voldy that she accepted how pathetic he was for still being this worked up about all of this. Even Lucius had stood up to put a supportive hand on Voldy's shoulder. Voldy would have wanted a hug from him, but this was just fine. Lucius was never one for that much touching anyway.

"I'm sorry too, Voldy," he said reassuringly. "Really, I am. Even if I don't know what it's like. It's gotta be tough."

'Tough' was certainly an understatement, but Voldy was glad that Lucius at least got it. They both did. They understood, and they didn't judge. Voldy held Bella closer. It wasn't anything like Quirrell's warm embraces, but it definitely sufficed. Bella's hold was warm and tender, and something he hadn't experienced in quite a while. And that was more than comforting enough. For the moment, at least.

\---

To Voldy's surprise, New Year's Eve wasn't exactly a spectacular celebration over at Hogwarts. Sure, the place was decorated, and there was a big feast that evening, as well as fireworks, but other than that, nobody seemed too keen on celebrating it. It made Voldy feel a bit better about not being overly excited about it either. At least he wasn't the only one in the castle not jumping up and down with joy of a new year coming up.

Dumbledore had of course been the first to remind Voldy of the other apparent reason to celebrate the day. The first thing that Voldy saw when he had woken up that morning was a small piece of parchment hanging above his face, which only read:

_I am not going to wish you a happy birthday, as I know that you do not wish to be reminded of the occasion. But do accept my best wishes regardless. I hope you are doing well._

APWB Dumbledore

It was such a silly and stupid thing, but it had definitely laid a groundwork for a good day for Voldy, even though he was pretty much all on his own during the holidays. Then there was the fact that he had actually gotten a few more letters wishing him a happy birthday: one from the orphanage, one from Lucius, and one from Bella. Voldy wasn't exactly sure why, but the fact that the two of them had remembered made his heart swell a bit, and he couldn't help but smile at the letters. He didn't exactly feel very feverish, but there was something so sweet about receiving these letters.

That night, when the fireworks were up and about (made with magic, which only made them more extraordinary and grand), Voldy simply sat in the Great Hall and looked up at the enchanted ceiling instead of going outside with the rest of the students. He waved his wand aimlessly, trying to remember the kind of flower spells Quirrell had used to do when they were younger, but was only able to produce a few twigs and weeds. He sighed and looked up again. The fireworks were decreasing just slightly, and he could hear footsteps in the distance, meaning that the students were gradually coming back inside. Voldy smiled sadly, and then whispered to no one: "Happy new year, Quirrell. I'm still missing you…"

\---

"That's not how it goes! Turn it- No, that way!"

"I know what I'm doing, shut up!"

"No, clearly you don't! Just look at it! It's going back in the soil! Gimme that."

"Hey! This is supposed to be a partner thing!"

"Yeah, but they didn't count on your partner being an absolute idiot!"

"You take that back!"

"Riddle! Samuels!" The moment Professor Beery bellowed out over the class to Voldy and Meredith's table, they both silenced instantly, having been bickering loudly for almost ten minutes straight. "Keep your voices down, please. And I'm not listening to any excuses about who started anything this time," he added when he saw that they were both about to point and blame the other.

Meredith sunk back in her seat and folded her arms, pouting. "I'm still gonna do most of the work, you know," she spat at Voldy, who was still struggling to get the spell right. "We're not gonna get a bad grade for this just because you don't know how plants work."

Refraining from responding with something equally nasty, Voldy simply clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, not wanting to draw any more attention to the two of them. He knew plenty about how plants worked, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was always horribly distracted in this class, and that he had never been able to quite master any kind of spell that was good for flowers and plants. Not to mention that trying to get said spells to work reminded him of his and Quirrell's days at the orphanage when they would teach each other about their own skills.

"Fine, you do it, then," Voldy finally said when Meredith had let out at least four annoyed grunts. She seemed genuinely surprised at that, and rose back up to focus on the plant in front of them. "If you're so smart," Voldy had to add, wanting to spite Meredith a little bit.

Meredith huffed, put her chin up, and waved her wand. Sure enough, the spell worked much better for her than it had done for Voldy, and she looked at him with an arrogant sort of pride in her eyes. He frowned, and was about to say something when Professor Beery walked by their table, looking intrigued.

"Hm, very nice display, Miss Samuels," he said and nodded, observing the plant. "A definite improvement from the last time, although I must say that I don't think the poor thing would last very long. Ah!" he then suddenly exclaimed, causing both Voldy and Meredith to jerk their heads up. He was looking at someone sitting behind them, and without even having to check, Voldy knew exactly what was up. "Mister Quirrell, Miss Derrick! Excellent as always! Ten points to Ravenclaw!"

At that point, Voldy had already slammed his forehead down on his table. Not because Ravenclaw had bested Slytherin in Herbology again, but because of the person who had done it. Meredith looked on, however, smiling. Voldy was glad that he would only have to endure this for a couple of more weeks.

The last day of school was just as grand as the first one had been. Every student was sitting at their respective house's table, eating the last feast of the school year (Voldy could have sworn that he had seen several students eating with more ferocity than any time before). Throughout the year, the houses had been rewarded points for good behavior or doing exceptionally well, and that had of course been building up to this moment. As it turned out, the house with the most points won the House Cup, which was apparently something that the house that won (in this case, Gryffindor, much to Slytherin's dismay) would pride themselves in until the next year. But really, Voldy didn't care all that much about that. He didn't really care much about anything that was happening.

The only thing that stuck in his mind throughout the day, and especially the evening, was the fact that once it was all done, the school year was over. He would have to go back to the orphanage and live through at least three months of boredom and loneliness, and possibly go back to being the sad, numb wreck he had been the summer before.

Though, to be fair, this time he knew that at least someone would be thinking of him. If Bella's large, beaming smile and Lucius' excited grin when they had all exchanged addresses were any indications, Voldy was sure to get a lot of letters over the course of the summer. And he was perfectly okay with that.


	16. Chapter 16

Surprisingly, summer had passed fairly quickly. Because of the year that had gone by between Quirrell's adoption and Voldy going to Hogwarts, Voldy had expected it to be lonely and excruciatingly slow, but it had turned out alright. As he had expected, he had received tons of letters from both Bella and Lucius, who both told him about their separate vacations. Voldy had always written little in response since he was stuck at the orphanage, but it felt alright this time around, because even though his letters weren't long or detailed, Bella and Lucius still kept writing.

Dumbledore had written him as well, even though he did occasionally show up in person to check on Voldy and see if he was alright. Good old Dumbledore; still ever the therapist. He must have quickly gotten the idea that Voldy was perfectly okay, because both his letters and his visits eventually became less frequent over the summer. That was just fine. Voldy had two other friends he was still in contact with, and he felt like he didn't need the therapy as much as he had before his first year.

Eventually, as if someone had rushed time to make it go faster, August was coming to an end, and sure enough, Dumbledore came to pick Voldy up for his shopping. Just like last time, the first stop was the bank, where Dumbledore again had to be the one to withdraw the money needed for the supplies. Also like last time, Dumbledore added a few coins that Voldy could use while at school.

And so there they were, walking around Diagon Alley with Dumbledore surveying their surroundings, and Voldy pulling his trunk and supplies along, burying his nose in his shopping list. Most of the equipment could be reused from last year, but some of the books had to be updated to match the second-years' schedule. Already, Voldy could tell that his schoolbag was going to be heavy.

"Will we ever get to choose which classes we take?" he asked Dumbledore, who had been eyeing a knitting shop for a few seconds. "I mean, will the schedules always be so…" he made a small face in thought, "clogged?"

Dumbledore just chuckled. "Of course not," he replied, still not taking his eyes off the knitting shop. "In the third year, it is possible to either add or subtract classes from your schedule, but it has to fit with your major. But sometimes, students will actually want to take a little bit of everything just to see what they're into. And some are simply so into everything that they want to show off." He paused and turned to Voldy, who was looking at him curiously. "But the simple answers to your questions would be 'yes' and 'no', respectively."

"Major?" Voldy repeated, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "Like how?"

"Oh, every student has their interest in one field or another," Dumbledore replied, almost dreamily. "Some go for Potions, others for Ancient Runes, and even a few go for Transfiguration," he added with a sly smile, subtly pointing to himself. So subtly, in fact, that Voldy barely even caught the reference. "It all has to do with your preference, and thus you can sign up for advanced levels. It's all very basic when you think about it."

Voldy perked at that, and looked up from his list. "So could I major in dancing?" he asked excitedly. "Because that would be super awesome."

At that, Dumbledore's smile faded a bit. "Well… Technically all majors have to be in something academic," he said, which made Voldy's excitement vanish completely. "But I'm sure you can use it for extra credit, especially if you keep signing up for the club every year."

There wasn't much else to say about this, so Voldy looked back at his list, though he had stopped reading it. How typical. The one thing he was seriously passionate about was apparently the only subject he couldn't major in. That was stupid. In Voldy's opinion, every subject should be applicable for majoring, no matter how silly it seemed. Besides, dancing may not be especially magical, but it was the one thing Voldy was especially good at.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't even see that Dumbledore was signaling him to look in another direction. Voldy looked up from the list again and up at Dumbledore, who simply nodded towards something across the street. If he hadn't looked, Voldy probably would have missed it, but now it was clear as day; someone with a mop of curly dark hair was waving to him giddily, jumping up and down in excitement. Voldy's mood brightened instantly, and he smiled and waved back.

"Bella!" he called happily, almost wanting to run over, but then remembered the amount of weight he was dragging, so he decided against it. He then figured it wouldn't matter anyway, because Bella instantly came dashing towards him, dismissing her parents who had been accompanying her.

"Voldy, hi!" she loudly exclaimed as she ran, and expanded her arms to wrap them firmly around Voldy once she reached him. She let go quickly, but held on to his hands as she smiled at him. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you!" she continued, completely ignoring Dumbledore, it seemed.

Voldy chuckled at her excitement, having sort of missed it over the summer – even if it did get a little annoying if you were overexposed. "It's great to see you too," he replied with a wide smile of his own, now almost wishing that the hug had lasted longer. "Have you done all your shopping?"

Bella shook her head and pointed towards the store where her parents were still standing. "Nuh-uh, still have to get a few books and stuff," she told Voldy, and then rolled her eyes. "Well, that, and my sister's going to Hogwarts now, so we have to drag her along too."

"Sister?" Voldy said, and looked over to the parents again. Sure enough, there was a third person there with them. She was very small, and hiding behind her parents' large, black robes, but clearly there. "I didn't know you have a sister."

"Yeah, I don't talk about her much," Bella said with a shrug. "She's really shy and all, and she's a first-year, so she's really nervous and scared." She let out a small laugh. "Hey, remember when we were like that?"

Voldy grinned. "Well, yeah, it was only a year ago," he replied, already certain that his day had gotten infinitely better by meeting Bella.

Suddenly, as if he had materialized out of nowhere, Dumbledore leaned down to Voldy and smiled. "I'll tell you what, Voldemort," he said, "why don't you finish your shopping with Miss Black, and I'll get you a room at the Leaky Cauldron for tonight?"

The initial embarrassment of Voldy having almost forgotten that Dumbledore was even there vanished when he mentioned his offer. "Really? That'd be great!" Voldy replied excitedly, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bella jump a bit in glee as well. "I mean, we don't have that much left, so…"

"All in due time, Voldemort," Dumbledore said with a raised hand. "Now go on and do what you need to do. I'm going to see if I can make a couple of arrangements." He smiled, and nodded towards Bella, tipping his hat in farewell. "Miss Black." He turned towards Voldy, "I'll see you later, then."

"Okay, bye!" Voldy said, and before he knew it, Dumbledore was gone, just like that. Voldy heard Bella gasp, and turned towards her, grinning. "Yeah, he does that. So hey, what about those books, huh?"

Bella almost hopped with excitement, and grabbed Voldy's hand to drag him across the street again. It probably would have been a better idea if Voldy hadn't had this much luggage, though, but regardless, Bella kept tugging him on as Voldy dragged his stuff behind him. Once they were across, Voldy greeted the Blacks with a polite nod, which they returned in their own high and mighty way. They then both looked at Bella with a slight frown, but she ignored them in favor of presenting her sister.

"Voldy, this is my sister, Narcissa. Or just Cissy, because that's what I call her anyway," she said as he gestured towards her sister, who was still cowering behind her parents. Cissy's posture made her look even smaller than she already was, but perhaps the fact that she was so light compared to everyone else in the family, it shouldn't have been all that surprising.

Voldy would have reached out his hand to greet the girl, but since Bella was still holding it, it wasn't an option. And he didn't want to drop his supplies, so using the other wouldn't do much either. So instead, he just smiled. "Hey there, I'm Voldy," he greeted, but got no response from the girl. He looked over to Bella, who just shrugged.

"Told ya she was shy," she said pointedly, as if Cissy was always so timid. From what Voldy could gather, she probably was. "Anyway, now that you've seen her, how about we get those books! And then maybe we can hang out while Cissy gets a robe fitting!"

Voldy only smiled wide, and gave Bella's hand a small squeeze. "I'd like that," he said, prompting Bella to give out one of her giddy squeaks. Surprisingly, for once, it didn't annoy Voldy. "Let's go!" And with that, the two set out to spend the day together. And honestly, Voldy was just fine with that.

\---

It wasn't until the two of them were on the train that they were finally reunited with Lucius, who had even more to say about his vacations than he had written about. All the way, Bella and Voldy listened intently as he told them about his travels to Bulgaria to see a professional Quidditch match, and to Romania, where he got to see real dragons up close. While Lucius spoke, Voldy could have sworn that he and Bella kept moving closer towards each other, but thought nothing of it. Still, it was still pretty weird to get a flash of a feverish tummy sting when their shoulders bumped. Strange.

Unlike their first year, where they had gone to the castle by boat, this year they went by carriages. Enchanted carriages, apparently, because even though nothing was pulling them, they moved on their own, carrying their passengers towards the castle. Voldy looked on as they approached it, a sense of familiarity swelling inside him the closer they got to it. Even in the fog, Hogwarts castle looked just as majestic as ever.

Once everyone was out of their carriages – which seemed to be the custom way of traveling to the school for everyone except first-years – the students started walking through the school's main gates. Voldy had to crane his neck upwards to see the top of it, and momentarily wondered why everything in Hogwarts was so huge. Still, he kept going with the flow, keeping Lucius and the always-excited Bella close at hand as always. He briefly heard Bella mentioning how she was looking forward to the sorting because of Cissy, but his only response was to smile and huff a small laugh.

The students rushed to the doors to get inside, and were instantly guided to the Great Hall, where the sorting and the evening feast would be held. Voldy, Bella and Lucius ran towards the Slytherin table to get good seats, although they did have to settle for mediocre ones since the older students were able to push them aside like they were dust. They were still able to see the stool, though, so it wasn't that bad.

It was strange not having Dumbledore to guide them through everything this year, but Voldy figured he would have to get used to this eventually, since the first-years were the only ones to get any kind of introduction to the place. As he thought this, he could feel Lucius poking him in the arm, so he turned towards him.

"D'you think the first-years will be as scared as we were last year?" he asked Voldy and Bella. "You know, all worried about which house they get sorted into and stuff?"

Bella scoffed. "Duh! Everyone's worried about their houses!" she exclaimed, possibly a bit too loud, as other students started to shush her.

"I just hope we get a bunch of Slytherins this year," Voldy said as he glanced over the table for a moment. "You can never have too many, right?"

"Right!" Bella responded with a giggle, and then very characteristically clung onto Voldy's arm. He still had no idea why she kept doing that, but found that he was actually starting to like it. Just a little bit, of course. Nothing too much.

As if on cue, the doors to the Great Hall opened, and in came Dumbledore with his herd of first-years. Voldy almost stood up to see if he could pick out any potential housemates, but no one seemed all that fit to be a Slytherin. Shame.

All the students watched as the first-years came to a halt in front of the stool, and Dumbledore explained how the sorting worked. He lifted the sorting hat, and called the first name, and the sorting had officially begun.

Most of the first names turned out to be Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws, which greatly disappointed Voldy. He was actually starting to get bored. It wasn't until Dumbledore called: "Black, Narcissa!" that he perked and actually started paying attention. If it wasn't the name that caused it, it was Bella momentarily tightening her hold on his arm. They all watched as Cissy tentatively walked towards the stool, her already pale face even whiter now that she was so nervous. Dumbledore placed the hat on her head, and—

"SLYTHERIN!"

Bella's relief was all but visible as she sighed and relaxed considerably. Cissy's face brightened up, and she happily ran towards the Slytherin table, where she nudged her way through sitting next to her. Voldy looked on with a small smile, glad to see that Cissy was actually able to display some expression other than nervousness.

Cissy had only just made herself comfortable next to Bella when Voldy perked again: "Black, Sirius!" He watched as a scrawny looking boy ran excitedly towards the stage, but was turned away from it by Bella and Cissy's low groans.

"You have a brother too?" Lucius asked, looking both very curious and very confused.

"Nooo," Bella drawled and rolled her eyes. "That's our cousin. Ugh, he's such a _dweeb_!"

Voldy snorted, unsure what to make of that, and almost missed the sorting hat bellowing "GRYFFINDOR!" although the loud cheering from the Gryffindor table should have given him a clue. Bella scoffed again, and looked both disappointed and somewhat disgusted. "Gryffindor? Are you serious?" both she and Cissy whispered to each other. It was obvious to Voldy now that the Black family was completely obsessed with their name and reputation.

Honestly, Gryffindor seemed to be the most popular house tonight. Voldy could only remember a handful (there was an "Evans, Lily", a "Lupin, Remus", a "Pettigrew, Peter", and a "Potter, James", which were some of the silliest that had remained in his mind), but it was like there was no tomorrow for Gryffindor. Only a fair few went to Hufflepuff (Voldy recalled a "Ringler, Joseph" and a "Brannigan, Clark") and Ravenclaw (the only name Voldy remembered was "Lackadaisy, Lauren" because it sounded so silly), but there weren't nearly enough Slytherins. Ironically, only when the names started to begin with S did the Slytherin table pick up its pace, starting with a ghostly boy, "Snape, Severus".

"He doesn't look so good," Lucius said to Voldy when they watched the Snape boy walk towards the Slytherin table. And he was right too. Snape looked even more miserable than Voldy had felt during his sorting. Not just because of his pale face and black hair, though that certainly didn't help. No, also because his eyes were distant and black, and he walked almost like a spirit of some sort. It was actually kind of scary. What made it even scarier was the fact that he actually managed to squeeze in to sit next to Lucius, who instantly shivered.

"I'm not sure I'm gonna like this year…" he said, obviously freaked out by the boy. Voldy couldn't blame him either.

The sorting finished relatively quickly after that, and Voldy was thankful to get at least a few more Slytherins than they had gotten so far. Right as everything was settled, headmaster Dippet stood up from behind the teachers' table and raised his arms to greet the students.

"Everyone, please, eat your stomachs out."

\---

There were two things that Voldy had already decided would make his second year far better than his first. One, he could join the dance club again, which was just awesome because they actually met up twice a week now. He was also very thankful to see that Lucius still hadn't gotten bored of it, so they still had this extra activity together. And two, they no longer had to take Herbology with Ravenclaw, and instead shared it with Hufflepuff. The moment Voldy walked into the greenhouse and saw no trace of blue crests or stripes, he remembered almost falling over in relief. Finally, this class would be bearable.

It was early in the first week when Voldy, Bella and Lucius were walking towards the now familiar dungeons to go to their first Potions class of the semester. Lucius was sort of iffy about it, and kept talking about how he was going to cross out Potions in his third year because he stunk at it.

"It's too complicated!" he exclaimed as they waited in front of the classroom, slightly cold from being so far underground. "It's like, you have all these ingredients, but you have to be super precise or everything just blows up!"

Voldy only shrugged. "It's not _that_ hard," he said plainly. "I always think of it like cooking or baking or something like that. You have your ingredients, and your measurements, and your cauldron on a good heat, and then you have a potion. Simple as that."

"Oh Voldy, that's brilliant!" Bella said happily, clasping her hands together. "You always know how to make the best comparisons!"

Her comment made Voldy tilt his head a bit, since it was about the only time he had ever made a comparison like this. It was like Bella was looking for a chance to compliment him for some reason – and about the silliest things too. He was about to reply with a sheepish 'thank you' when more of their fellow Slytherins arrived, accompanied by the teacher. He was a slightly plump man, but wore a happy grin on his face all the way to the classroom where he opened it and let the students in. Voldy was a bit confused. Were there only Slytherins in this class?

Unlike any other classroom, there weren't double desks, but instead rows where up to eight students could sit together. On those rows were little stoves and cutting boards, along with other equipment they would no doubt have to use. Bella and Lucius of course immediately rushed towards the finest looking seats, while Voldy just had a look around to see if he could squeeze in anywhere. A lot of students followed Bella and Lucius' move, so their respective row was full by the time Voldy reached them. Bella pouted, and gestured for Voldy to take the row below, so he could at least be close to them. He nodded, and took a seat.

For the longest time, no one dared to sit next to him. Which was fine, really. All the more reason to lean back and have a little chat with Bella and Lucius. The teacher was now unpacking his bag by his desk, picking up the book they would be using, as well as a cauldron. He had a look around, his face both looking surprised and a bit sad.

"Oh," he breathed. "I could have sworn there were more students in this period…" he then said, more to himself than anyone else. "Oh well, no matter, no matter. It's always nice to teach your own house anyway."

As soon as he had let go of the last word, the door to the classroom flew open, and inside came a wave of students all too eager to get inside. "Sorry we're late, professor!" a blonde girl leading the group exclaimed. "Professor Flitwick held us up."

Voldy stared as the group of students rushed inside, and then made a realization that made him shrink down in his seat and hide his face. _Ravenclaws_ , he thought bitterly, and then bent forward so that he wouldn't have to look at anyone. Gosh, if he had to suffer through another year sitting next to Meredith Samuels, he was going to explode. Or worse yet, if he had to suffer seeing _him_ all the time... Almost instantly, he could feel his fever acting up again. Oh how he wished it had stopped already!

"Is this seat taken?" a high-pitched voice suddenly asked, which made Voldy snap out of his thoughts and look up from his minor sulk. The blonde girl from before was towering over him, smiling far too wide for anyone in the Potions classroom. Voldy tried to remember her name, but ended up drawing a complete blank.

"No…" he said sadly, scooting over a bit so that she would have more room to unpack her things. All through her process, Voldy kept staring at her, trying to piece together where he had seen her before, and why she was so familiar to him. He distinctly remembered her overly happy face from somewhere, but couldn't quite place her name.

When she had everything in front of her, she turned to Voldy, her smile now a bit stiffer when before. "Looks like I'm gonna be stuck with you for a while, huh?" she said, and then looked Voldy over before continuing: "So maybe you should know my name. I'm Denise."

 _Denise_. That's right. "Yeah, hi, I'm Vo—"

"Voldemort, I know," Denise interrupted and rolled her eyes. "I know you. My b- I mean, Meredith talked about you a lot last year. We had Herbology together, right? Oh, she was always so mad at you. Like, all the time."

Voldy just stared, unsure of what to say. He knew for a fact that Meredith was always mad at him for some reason. Not that he really cared why, he always just assumed it was because of their very first night before the sorting. But the fact that she and this Denise girl were apparently friends couldn't be good. At least not in the long run, if she was anything like her friend. So far, though, she seemed to be a bit more polite, so that was at least a plus.

After a moment, Voldy turned around to have a look at Bella and Lucius to see their reactions. Just like last year, Lucius just shrugged like he had no idea what was going on – which was probably true, seeing as he knew nothing about this whole Ravenclaw mess. Bella, on the other hand, looked like she was boiling. She wasn't looking at Voldy, but frowning madly at Denise. Voldy was certain that if Bella had been holding anything, it would have already snapped in half. He wondered why she always acted this way. Was it because she hated Meredith, and could hear Denise talk about being her friend? Why couldn't she see that Denise was much nicer, then? Weird.

"There you are! Hiii!" Denise suddenly called to someone and waved to the bottom of the classroom. Curiosity overtook Voldy, and he had a look down. In the bottom row, he could see Meredith, one other girl he had no idea who was, and – oh no – _Quirrell_. Voldy almost cowered, backed off, or fell out of his chair, but he wouldn't move. He just gaped, his eyes wide, as the three kids waved back to Denise. Meredith then seemed to gasp, and whispered something to the other girl, who passed it on to Quirrell. Voldy gulped, wondering why he still hadn't looked away.

And then they locked eyes.

Quirrell was actually looking at him. That alone sent Voldy's fever into frenzy. The longer he stared, the less he could hear of the noises around him, as everything was becoming a blur. He felt as though his insides were curling, slithering all about in a twist until they tangled together. If anyone was speaking, he couldn't hear it, because he was only aware of his rapid heartbeat banging in his ears. His breathing became erratic, and he could have sworn that for a second, he felt faint.

He wanted to say something, signal something, do something; anything! But it was like the fever had completely frozen him, and all he could do was keep staring. Thoughts spiraled around in his mind, both memories and potential scenarios, as well as a voice that kept urging him to tell Quirrell that he missed him. Just something. But nothing happened. His body wouldn't move, and his voice wasn't working. He was completely frozen, and even wondered for a moment if someone had used petrificus totalus on him.

Quirrell just stared as well, though he seemed to be taking this first contact in years much better than Voldy was. And then, in a flash so quick that Voldy might have missed it, Quirrell's mouth quirked up into a small smile. A smile so small that it was barely recognizable, and Voldy felt incredibly sad because of it. Not just because it was a smile that he had never seen on Quirrell's face – not even during his most awful times – but also because it made Quirrell look so unlike himself. Like he didn't even want to show Voldy a pure smile, or even a forced one.

Just as quickly as he had turned around, Quirrell turned back towards the teacher, and only then was Voldy able to calm down. His heart was still pounding hard and his breathing still fast, but it was nothing like the shock his fever had given him just now. He ran a hand down his face, knowing that it was stupidly red, and had to stifle a groan. Even if he had desperately wanted to get some kind of glance from Quirrell for ages, this was not what he had had in mind. This was pure torture. Voldy wondered if he was ever going to be able to talk to Quirrell again; it was so obvious now that the boy hated him and had moved on.

"Are you okay?" Voldy heard Denise ask, and she sounded surprisingly concerned. Voldy looked up at her, and saw that she looked genuinely so. Huh. That was unexpected.

He nodded slowly and swallowed, trying to make the fever stop. "Y- yeah, I'm fine, just… nervous, I guess," he said, which wasn't exactly a lie, but he didn't want to tell Denise about the fever. That would be stupid.

Denise nodded. "Good. 'Cause, like, it'd really stink if you got sick on the first day of school," she said with a small smile. Voldy didn't know what to say. If facing Quirrell would be the biggest torture of the year, then having Denise sitting next to him would be the perfect compromise. At least it all balanced out now.

Voldy turned back to his friends, only to see Lucius looking slightly concerned, but relieved when he saw that Voldy was okay; and Bella still glaring at Denise like she was expecting her to disintegrate under her stare. Once again, Voldy's theory that girls were bizarre were confirmed.

\---

A few weeks later, during Charms class, Bella finally spoke up about her behavior. She and Voldy had been doing some writing about the new spells they had learned, when she suddenly stopped and sighed. She then leaned over to Voldy and whispered: "Do you like Denise?"

Voldy looked up from his paper and at Bella, completely confused. "What do you mean?" he asked, wondering what in the world she was talking about.

Bella pursed her lips and squirmed a bit in her seat. "I mean, do you… _like_ her?" she repeated. "'Cause, um… I- I've seen the way you two work together in Potions, and I was just… wondering."

Hm. Hesitations, awkward pauses, and Voldy could even see a bit of red in Bella's dark cheeks. Apparently the strangest things made people feverish. He hadn't seen this kind of case since- No, best not think about that now. "Uh, I don't really know what you mean, but if you're talking about her being my friend or something, then no," Voldy replied simply, and then went back to his writing.

"But she's so nice to you!" Bella continued, grabbing Voldy's arm and forcing him to look back up at her. "And- and I don't want it all to be a trick and for you to be hurt like with your orphan friend."

The fact that Bella remembered his story from last year so well struck a little chord with Voldy, and he felt his cheeks heat up ever so slightly. He smiled at Bella to try and convey how much he appreciated her apparent concern. "Well… you're nice to me," he responded. "And you're not tricking me, are you?"

Bella blinked, and swallowed, and if Voldy wasn't mistaken, she blushed deeper. "No. Absolutely not," she replied.

"So it's okay then," Voldy told her, hopefully in a reassuring manner. "And don't worry about Denise. We just have Potions together, that's all. And even if it is all a trick, I still have you and Lucius, right?"

With a nod, Bella's nervousness seemed to subside, and her familiar, sweet smile returned. "Right, yeah. I dunno what I was thinking," she said, and then continued her writing.

Voldy was still completely confused, though, and turned to Lucius, who was sitting by his side. He poked him in the arm, making Lucius look up from his writing (which he was apparently struggling with), and whispered: "You think Bella's okay? She's been acting weirder than usual lately."

To Voldy's surprise, Lucius didn't put up his usual, confused expression, and instead giggled softly. "Yeah, she's fine," he whispered back. "I think she's just got a bunch of stuff on her mind. Ya know, probably something not school related."

Voldy thought that over for a second. "The dueling club?" he guessed, since it seemed the only possible answer. After all, there was that one kid who was always trying to top her.

Lucius looked as though he was weighing Voldy's question in his mind before he replied. "Yeah, probably," he said and shrugged, and then continued fussing over his writing as if the conversation had never taken place.

It seemed reasonable enough. Bella was probably under a bit of stress because of the dueling club, and was worried that Voldy didn't want to be her friend anymore or something. Voldy couldn't blame her. Losing a friend really hurt, so he completely understood her worries. Nevertheless, he was confused as to why Lucius was acting so strange about it. Probably because he didn't know what Bella was going through was like.

Still, this was weird. Bella's behavior was weird. This whole Denise business was weird. Lucius' reply was weird. Voldy would seriously have to gather up the nerve to talk to Bella about this in a better setting. He only hoped it would go better than that time at the orphanage, where it had taken him ages to do so. Voldy ignored the small sting in his tummy as he thought about it, and continued writing.

So far, the second year of Hogwarts was turning out to be a lot better than the first, but so much more confusing. This must have been what growing up felt like.


	17. Chapter 17

The funny thing about wanting to ask Bella what was bothering her, was that Voldy didn’t feel nearly as nervous as he should have. Sure, he knew it would be awkward and weird, but he wasn’t worried about sounding stupid or anything like that. Not even the fever held him back, which was a big plus. But even then, it was eerily similar to all those times at the orphanage when he had wanted to ask about something, and ended up holding back out of fear of sounding dumb. So the fact that he didn’t feel like that at all now came off as very strange to him.

Regardless of all that, he still didn’t know how to approach Bella with this. Should he just come up to her and ask right away? Should he give her hints and build up the question? Or maybe he could pretend he didn’t notice anything and just wait for her to fess up. That seemed like the least plausible option, though, especially since it really didn’t look like Bella wanted to talk about this at all.

What was up with that, tough? If there was something bothering her, shouldn’t she talk about it to her friends? And for that matter, what was up with Lucius’ constant ambiguous replies whenever Voldy asked him about it? Sometimes, he acted like he knew nothing, and then other times, it was like he knew exactly what was going on, but wouldn’t tell Voldy about it. How did that even make sense? Maybe this was something Voldy just didn’t understand because he had never had more than one friend before. 

Then again, he had kept his questions a secret from Quirrell back at the orphanage, so maybe that was the case with Bella. Maybe she was just worried that her thoughts would make her look stupid. As he thought all this over, Voldy made a mental note to somehow reassure her that it didn’t matter what she said; he would never think she was stupid. After all, it couldn’t be as silly as asking about what love was. 

So at the first opportunity, Voldy approached Bella to at least try to give her the impression that he was okay with anything that was on her mind. Especially if it had something to do with him, though that probably wasn’t the case anyway. During breakfast one morning, Voldy sat down next to Bella and, for probably the first time, was the one to touch her arm to get her attention. 

To Voldy’s surprise, she didn’t jump or gasp in surprise, but actually looked like she was shivering for some reason. She turned to him with an excited, but still sweet, smile. “Morning, Voldy,” she said, her eyes momentarily darting towards Voldy’s hand on her arm before looking up at him again. “What’s up?”

“Just saying hi,” Voldy replied somewhat sheepishly as he sat down next to her to get his own breakfast. He gave Bella’s arm a small squeeze before letting go. “And wondering, uh… how you’re doing?” 

Bella giggled, and this time, Voldy could definitely tell she was blushing. “I’m okay,” she replied, fidgeting a bit in her seat. “Bit tired ‘cause of all the homework, but okay. Wh- what about you?” 

This was getting so weird. Bella really had a knack for mimicking Quirrell perfectly, even though she had never even met him. How did she do that? Voldy swallowed, trying to drown his fever which was starting to act up. “Uh, I’m good. Homework, yeah. Getting a bit tough, huh? Second year,” he stammered, wishing his stomach would untangle itself so he could focus. He then cleared his throat to try at get to the point. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said, rubbing his hands together nervously. Okay, this should not be this difficult. 

“Yeah?” Bella said curiously, her eyes practically lighting up as she looked at Voldy expectantly. “What is it?”

Voldy stared, unable to take his eyes off Bella’s. Something about the way she was looking at him, and how she looked like she was waiting for him to say something really awesome made him almost forget what he was trying to say. It wasn’t the worst case he had gotten of the stomach turns, but it was still enough to be distracting. He shook his head to try and get rid of it (to no avail, of course), and then spoke again. “It’s about the thing in Charms,” he said and bit his lip. “Y’know, when you asked me about Denise?”

At that, Bella looked away a bit, and let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, that,” she said, and Voldy wondered if she knew how much she was blushing at this point. “That- Oh, Voldy, that was ages ago! Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Voldy replied. “Not like that. Not really. It’s just… Well, I just wanted to let you know that if there’s anything that, y’know, you want to talk to me about, that’s okay. Like, um, if there’s something on your mind, you can tell me. Okay?” Wow. Voldy could have run a mile and not feel his heart pounding as hard as it was right now. How was it that he always managed to be the more nervous one when it came to something like this? 

Bella looked back at Voldy, and this time looked less awkward and more intrigued, as if Voldy had said something that had changed her view on the world. She raised one hand and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, and then hesitantly brought it closer to Voldy’s on the table. “Well…” she began, and Voldy could almost feel how much she was trying not to shake. Her fingers brushed against his – Voldy became very aware that there was a lot of touching involved in this conversation. “There is one thing I--”

“Hey guys!” came a voice from behind them, and they both jumped in their seats. Bella instantly retracted her hand as Lucius patted them on the shoulder before sitting down next to Voldy and helping himself to some food. “Sorry I’m late, had to look for my quill. Anything interesting going on?”

“No!” Bella exclaimed, surprising both Lucius and Voldy. She had tensed considerably, and was now glaring at her toast like she was trying to burn it with her eyes. “No, there’s nothing going on. Absolutely nothing. You didn’t miss a thing.”

Voldy raised an eyebrow, noting that Bella was back to being her awkward, sheltered self she had been the past weeks. Why? He thought Lucius knew something about all of this. He turned to Lucius, who looked more shocked than interested. “We were just talking about--” 

“My dueling club!” Bella cut in, abruptly looking over at Lucius as well, her eyes extremely wide. “And the stress! And- and the Ravenclaw boy who keeps trying to be better than me. Just- stuff. Nothing more.” She was now glaring at Lucius, and even Voldy could tell that she was trying to make him stop asking questions. Jeez. Hadn’t he done a good enough job to convince her that everything was fine? Or was she more worried about Lucius now?

Lucius just nodded, obviously a bit freaked out by Bella’s outburst. He slowly turned away from her and instead focused on his food. “Alright, just checking,” he said quietly, shooting Bella a quick glance as he did so. 

Sitting between them, Voldy looked at Bella and Lucius as they ate, wondering what he had gotten himself into. He had hoped that telling Bella that everything was okay would somehow make things better, but now he wasn’t so sure. If anything, he was even more confused now. He had been convinced Lucius knew something about all of this, but now it appeared that he either didn’t or wasn’t supposed to know a thing, if Bella’s reaction was anything to go by. 

Maybe Voldy should just give it some time. Let things cool down a bit before bringing it all up again. That seemed like a good idea. At least, he hoped so.

\---

Tango. Why on earth did second-years have to learn how to tango? Shouldn’t that be reserved for later years? Or at least when most of the kids knew what it was supposed to be about? This was just silly. And too simplistic to Voldy. On the bright side, his partner knew what she was doing this time, unlike the Asian girl from the waltz classes in his first year. 

“Girls, girls! Just because the boys are leading doesn’t mean you can let them take charge!” Madam Coleman instructed as the group twirled around, waving her arms in a circular motion. “Just like with any other dance, you have to feel it! Let it take you over!”

Voldy closed his eyes as he danced, trying to let the music speak for itself and to move along with feeling just like he used to do at the orphanage. His partner held onto him tighter at first, but Voldy quickly felt her grip loosen as he went on, and even let out an impressed huff.

“Wow, you’re really good!” she whispered when she was close enough for him to hear, and Voldy grinned, opening his eyes so he could see her expression. 

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” he replied as he dipped her a bit, which made her let out a small giggle. “And besides, these steps are really easy.”

Voldy brought the girl back up, and she patted his shoulder with the hand she had on it. “Well then, I’m really glad I got you as a partner,” she said before Voldy made her twirl. “Some of the other boys can get really clunky when they’re dancing, and it’s hard to follow.”

Before Voldy could respond, Madam Coleman clapped her hands together and brought her wand to her throat so everyone could hear her. “Alright, excellent progress, especially for you, Miss Monka,” she said, and one girl in the room did a little curtsy. “You’re all doing a great job with this one. Just a few minor tweaks, and you’ll have mastered a basic tango. Maybe one day I’ll teach you the proper passion!” She emphasized the last word by posing theatrically, making a few kids chuckle. “I hope to see even more improvement next week. Until then, tango on!”

As soon as Madam Coleman stopped talking, Voldy’s partner let go of him and bowed politely, flashing a small smile in his direction. He did the same out of courtesy, and then hurried off to the benches, where the students were gathering their things together. Voldy scanned the group for any signs of Lucius, and quickly found him standing by the door and waving to him. Voldy picked up his schoolbag and dashed over to join him, and the two began walking towards the Great Hall. 

“Was I good? Did you see me?” Lucius asked excitedly as they walked, a large smile spread across his face. “I didn’t have the best partner, but I still did really well, right?”

“Yeah, you were pretty good,” Voldy replied, patting Lucius on the back. “Definitely better than the waltz thing. You totally screwed that up.”

“Hey! That’s only because waltzes are silly,” Lucius responded and pointed at Voldy. “And not that interesting. At least not nearly as interesting as tangos!” With that, Lucius struck a pose, not unlike the one Madam Coleman had pulled just moments before. Voldy chuckled. 

“It’ll probably get even better when we get older,” Voldy said hopefully as he wrapped one arm around Lucius’ shoulders. “Just think. Ballets, freestyle, tap dancing!” he said as if he was presenting a show. “It’ll be awesome!”

Lucius squirmed, and then let out a giggle. “Gah! I can’t wait!” 

The two boys laughed at their own silliness and then kept walking. Voldy could tell that Lucius was hurrying to get some lunch, and honestly, Voldy was excited to hear about Bella’s newest achievements in her dueling club. And just excited in general, because he really wanted her to be better after the time that had passed since that awkward breakfast they had had a while back. She hadn’t brought it up again, but wasn’t as sheltered as she had been that day, which made Voldy feel a bit better about it all. But still.

It then hit him like a ton of bricks. He hadn’t properly talked to Lucius about it. Just as the two of them were about to reach the doors to the Great Hall, Voldy stopped in his tracks and grabbed Lucius’ arm. “Wait a second,” he said as his friend came to a halt as well. 

“What? We’re not skipping lunch, are we?” Lucius said, seemingly a bit irritated that Voldy had stopped him. 

Voldy pursed his lips and let go of Lucius. He then had a look around the hallway they were standing in. It was a bit crowded, but then that was probably a bit better, since they would be able to blend in. “I need to talk to you about something,” he said, and gestured for Lucius to follow him to the nearest windowsill. Looking slightly confused, Lucius did just that, and the two boys sat down on it, dropping their schoolbags on the ground. 

Lucius looked at Voldy for a moment before he spoke again. “Okay, what is it?” he asked warily. “Is it the waltz thing? I can’t help it if I don’t like waltz, I’m sorry!”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Voldy said, a bit puzzled as to how Lucius had even come to that conclusion. He looked down on the floor beneath the window, wondering how to begin. Should he ask about Bella’s issue in general, or the breakfast scenario? “Remember that Charms class we had a couple of months ago, and I asked you what was wrong with Bella?”

“Uhh…” Lucius put a hand to his chin in thought. “I think so. Why? What about it?”

“Well, I talked to her about it a few weeks ago, and she got really weird for some reason,” Voldy continued, trying to sound as neutral as he could. “Like, I thought she had some issues because she had something on her mind or something she wanted to tell me, so I told her it was all fine. That she could say anything. And then you showed up, and she suddenly got really cold and… glary.” Voldy looked back up at Lucius with raised eyebrows. “Do you know what’s up with that?”

Lucius looked up, still thinking, and clearly trying to recall what it was Voldy was talking about. He then gasped as he remembered. “Ooh, you mean that weird breakfast we had?” he asked, and Voldy nodded. Lucius scrunched his face. “That’s what you were talking about? I thought it was something really, really personal. Because yeah, she was going really weird when I showed up.”

“Yeah, but until then, she was really… soft,” Voldy said, the last word the only one he could think of to describe Bella during that moment. “She was blushing and fidgeting and all kinds of stuff. But when you joined us, it’s like she became a different person or something, and she didn’t even want to tell you what we were talking about. Even though it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

But that was the thing. It had obviously been a huge deal for Bella since she hadn’t even wanted to mention anything about it to Lucius. Which was why, when Lucius pulled a face, Voldy was certain that he knew more than he let on. Lucius bit his lip, and looked up at the ceiling and to the side, basically everywhere but directly at Voldy. He tapped his fingers against the windowsill and glanced down the hallway and to the doors to the Great Hall, as if he wanted nothing more than to run from this conversation as soon as possible. Because of this, Voldy was convinced that he was keeping something from him. He folded his arms and frowned, not liking being left out like this – by his friends!

“Okay, Lucius, this is just stupid,” he deadpanned, scooting a bit closer. “You need to tell me what’s going on, because this is getting really annoying. You’re both acting super weird about everything! Why won’t either of you tell me what--”

“Bella likes you!” Lucius suddenly blurted, looking at Voldy with wide eyes and gripping the windowsill. He then clamped his mouth shut equally fast, and groaned, taking his head in his hands. 

Voldy just looked at him, both surprised and completely confused. Well, of course Bella liked him. They were friends; it was kind of a part of the whole thing. Why was that such a big reveal that Lucius looked like he regretted ever having been born? Voldy watched as he bent over and put his elbows on his knees, his head still in his hands. He ruffled his hair and let out another groan before sitting back up again, looking far more miserable than anyone in his situation should. “Oh, she is going to kill me!”

“Why? What’s so horrible about this?” Voldy asked, genuinely not having a clue what the problem was. 

That seemed to snap Lucius out of his sudden misery, and his distraught expression morphed into a curious but suspicious one. He slowly brought his hands down and narrowed his eyes at Voldy, which made Voldy lean back a bit. “You really don’t know?” he asked cautiously, as if he expected Voldy to reveal that he was joking any minute now. Voldy shook his head. “You really, truly, honestly don’t know what the deal is?” he asked.

“No, I don’t!” Voldy exclaimed, getting a bit frustrated with all this cryptic nonsense. Why wouldn’t Lucius just tell him why this was such an issue? 

Lucius huffed, relaxing considerably after all that. “Voldy, she likes you,” he said, apparently thinking that would explain things. “She has the biggest crush on you. You really haven’t noticed?”

Voldy bit back his reply of ‘what does that mean?’ and instead just tilted his head in confusion. He narrowed his eyes, trying to read from Lucius’ face what he was talking about. He thought back to the past months to try and see if there had been any differences in Bella’s behavior, aside from the obvious sheltering stuff. To be fair, she had been touching him a bit more than usual, and always got really excited whenever she saw him. That is, really excited, even by her standards. Then there was the blushing, which was happening a lot more now than before. And just the overall fever symptoms all over the place; the shivers, the stammers, and she was clearly having the stomach problems as well, if her constant squirming and fidgeting was anything to go by. Was that what this was about? 

“Ah, so you have noticed,” Lucius said, his expression softening as his mouth quirked up into a small grin. “See? That’s why she’s been so weird lately. She likes you, and she doesn’t want you to know yet. I mean, why d’you think she got so upset when she thought you liked that girl in Potions?”

Voldy perked. “You knew about that?” He thought back to that day, remembering how fuming mad Bella had looked the moment Denise had started talking to him. He had always assumed it was because she didn’t want to have the Herbology mess repeated. She had even explicitly told him that she didn’t want him to get hurt because of Denise. “I told her it wasn’t anything to get worried about. I’m not even friends with that girl. Why would she be upset?”

Lucius’ grin widened, and Voldy was getting a bit suspicious of his suddenly triumphant stance. “Because she thought you liked her!” he said a bit too enthusiastically. “See? That’s probably why she didn’t want to tell me what the two of you were talking about. You told her she could tell you anything, so she was going to tell you she liked you, and then I ruined it!” Lucius’ face melted back into his horror face, and his eyes widened. “Wow, no wonder she was mad at me the whole day.”

That was it. Voldy had to reveal his cluelessness. “But what does it even mean?” he asked, expanding his arms in frustration. “So she likes me. I know that. She’s my friend!”

“No, no, it’s more than friend-like,” Lucius replied, his expression back to normal. “She like-likes you.” He smiled widely, making it clear to Voldy that he was trying to hint at something, but Voldy still had no idea what he was on about. When Voldy didn’t reply, Lucius’ smile dropped and he started thinking again. “It’s… It’s, uh… It means that she… Hm.” He put a hand to his chin again, frowning. 

“Yes?” Voldy urged, getting more and more annoyed with each second. “It means she what?”

Lucius thought for a few more seconds, and then simply said: “It means she wants to be with you!” Voldy just looked at him, and so Lucius let out another groan. “Oh come on, Voldy, work with me here! I can’t explain it!” 

At this point, Voldy didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Either Lucius was trying to be especially cryptic now, or he really didn’t know what he was even saying. Either way, Voldy had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting any more out of the boy even if they stayed there for another hour. He stood up from the windowsill and signaled for Lucius to do so as well. “Okay, fine, don’t beat yourself up about it,” he said as he picked up his schoolbag. 

“Really?” Lucius said curiously as he stood up next to Voldy. “Because I can probably figure out how to tell you if you give me a few days.”

“No, it’s fine,” Voldy said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Now come on, we’re already late for lunch.”

Lucius sighed in relief and began walking towards the Great Hall once more, followed by Voldy. “Alright, great!” he said happily. “Just… don’t tell Bella I told you, okay? I don’t want her to get too mad at me.”

This time, Voldy did roll his eyes, if only because both his friends were being complete idiots about this mess. Bella didn’t want to tell him; Lucius didn’t know how to tell him. At this rate, he would have to find someone else completely to ask about this. Someone who could tell him about it as a bystander, or preferably just someone he didn’t know that well. And ask them what ‘like-liking’ someone meant. Now the problem was to find that someone.

\---

As much as Voldy liked Potions, the more the year went on, it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus. Not because the assignments were difficult or anything, but because he was always so aware of Quirrell being in the same room. It wasn’t as bad as Herbology had been the year before, but still really annoying, especially since he knew for certain that Quirrell knew about him as well. That was the main problem. It wasn’t just Quirrell and the fever that were making things difficult, it was also the fact that Voldy was constantly wondering if Quirrell was thinking the same things he was. If he had Voldy on his mind too. If he wanted to say something too. Or, worse, if he had completely moved on and didn’t care in the slightest. Voldy was afraid of that the most, and the way things were, it seemed the most likely option.

The only upside to all this was that at least this year, his seatmate wasn’t mean and annoying. Well, Denise could be a bit annoying with how loud she could be, and sometimes her cheerfulness got a little tiresome, but she was different from Meredith in the sense that she could actually talk to Voldy without starting some kind of argument. In fact, aside from Bella and Lucius, she was probably the only person in school he talked to a lot, if only because they shared this one class. The fact that she was pretty talkative helped matters too, of course. 

It wasn’t until early spring that Voldy finally figured out how to solve his dilemma. He had been thinking about it a whole lot, of course, but always chickened out eventually, or simply didn’t know whom to approach with his questions. But this was perfect. Since Denise didn’t really know anything about him, but was still nice enough to talk to, he could ask her about all of this. Immediately after realizing this, Voldy wondered why he hadn’t done so sooner. It was so obvious now that he thought about it! 

So, one time after class, when everyone was still packing up, Voldy turned to Denise as she stuffed her book into her schoolbag. “Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

Denise quickly looked up from what she was doing, a curious but interested look on her face. “Um, sure,” she said simply while she finished packing, and then leaned a bit closer to Voldy. “What about?”

Voldy had a look around, wondering if he should use the noise in the room to block out what he would ask, but decided not to. “Not here,” he replied and shook his head. “Come on.” He walked from his seat and to the main door, Denise following shortly. Voldy led her to the corridor closest to the classroom, but furthest away from the Slytherin common room just in case someone would see them. When he had found a suitable spot, he noticed that he didn’t feel nervous about finding the right words at all. That was pretty stupid to him. 

“Alright, what is it?” Denise asked, glancing around herself, obviously a bit freaked out by the dungeons. “And can we make it quick? I really need to meet up with Julia and my- Meredith.”

For a moment, Voldy considered asking her why she always referred to Meredith as ‘my Meredith’, or if she was correcting herself, but figured it didn’t matter right now. “Sure, sure, I just have a simple question,” Voldy said, and then just asked: “What does it mean to like someone? As in, have a crush on someone?” Huh. That was incredibly easy. Wow.

Denise looked like she was having trouble containing a wide smile, but was quick to reply. “Is that it? Oh, pssh, that’s easy,” she said and batted her hand. “It means having feelings for someone, and wanting to be with them. Really, really simple.”

Simple? “No, I think I know that, but what does it mean?” Voldy repeated, willing for Denise not to be as cryptic as Lucius. 

“Hm… Well, okay, it’s like this,” Denise began positioning herself in front of Voldy like she was giving a presentation. “You see a person, and you feel really, really good all over. It’s like, they always brighten your day whenever they’re around. And- and they make you laugh, and they have the sweetest touch, and when you’re around them, you get all warm and fuzzy inside.” She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked to her sides, a big smile on her face. “And you just want to spend all day with them and want to be with them like boyfriend and girlfriend with kisses and hugs and cuddles and oh! It’s just the best!” 

Throughout Denise’s speech, Voldy could have sworn she was basically describing how having a fever was like, so this intrigued him. He thought about correcting her, but she seemed so into what she was saying that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The more she spoke, the more sense Bella’s behavior around him made, especially all the touches recently. And suddenly everything about Bella as a person made sense to him. She didn’t just want to be his friend, she wanted to do all those things Denise just said with him. She wanted to be with him. That still didn’t really click in Voldy’s mind, but if it meant all those things, then he was fine with that explanation. 

After a few seconds, Denise snapped out of her little trance and giggled, blushing a bit. Maybe she liked someone too, and that was why she could explain it so well. Ah, yes, that made sense. “So? Was that good enough? Do you get it now?” she said excitedly.

Voldy grinned. “Yeah. I do,” he replied, and then set off to go to his next class. “Thanks, you helped a lot!”

“No problem! Just make sure they know!” Denise replied and waved to him. Voldy almost began wondering why she looked so happy, but figured it was just because she was glad to help. That must have been it. 

\---

If Voldy had thought that being clueless about Bella’s feelings was annoying enough, knowing about them but not being able to tell her was even more frustrating. Suddenly, everything was really awkward, and even he could feel it. Every time he saw her, he wanted her to tell her that he knew, and that she could stop being so anxious all the time. That everything was okay, just like he had told her. But something always held him back, and he was never sure what it was. Something told him it would be rude of him to say that he knew because someone told him, but another part of him told him that it was because he was having minor fever fits every time he saw her. 

It was so weird. Normally, his fever only acted up when something extreme was going on, but this was different somehow. It wasn’t anything major. Just a few extra heartbeats and a tiny stomach sting, and that was it. Nothing more. Did that mean that he liked Bella too? Was that what this was? It didn’t sound too ridiculous, now that he thought about it. And to be fair, Bella was fun to be around, and also very pretty, and they had spent almost two years together now, so it did look like the only reasonable explanation. 

Maybe he should be the one to tell her first, just to make things interesting. And not to scare her with telling her he knew about her feelings first. Yes. He would do that. He would approach her, and tell her that he liked her too. She would be happy to know that. And honestly, Voldy really wanted Bella to be her happy self again.


	18. Chapter 18

There was really nothing new about waiting for school to start again. Voldy was still at the orphanage, Bella and Lucius still had their respective family vacations and wrote to Voldy about them, while letters from Quirrell were nowhere to be seen. Overall, it was a pretty basic summer. 

All except for one thing. Curiously enough, Voldy’s crush on Bella seemed to have grown over time since they had said their goodbyes at the train station at the end of their second year. Now, each time he got a new letter from her, he got these tickly little tingles in his chest. He didn’t feel particularly feverish, but he was still very aware that this only happened when he got a letter from Bella. Or, sometimes, just when he thought about her. That was probably the weirdest part. But he sort of liked it too, particularly because it didn’t hurt.

Voldy would reply to Bella’s letters with more enthusiasm than Lucius’, although he wasn’t quite sure how to bring up any specific topics for them to discuss in their letters. But Bella didn’t seem to mind. She always had something to say about her days and how she was doing, and that was what made it all okay. This all made Voldy even more determined to tell her how he felt about her. After all this, he was convinced that the tingles had to mean that. He was certain that once he told her, she would be happier than he had ever seen her.

Not surprisingly, by the end of the summer, Dumbledore was the one who picked Voldy up in order to shop for new school supplies. Voldy was sort of getting the hang of the apparations, but still always felt a bit queasy once they passed. He had stopped falling down, though, which was an improvement. As per usual, their first stop was Gringotts and take out a few galleons for the shopping as well as some extra change for the year. Voldy was starting to like this little routine of theirs, even though the waiting could get a bit tedious at times. 

Once the money had been taken care of, the two of them walked down Diagon Alley in search for the proper things. Voldy knew for a fact that he needed new spell books as well as a few updated editions of the ones he was already using. Perhaps the most surprising thing was that he also needed a new robe, as his own one was starting to feel a bit snug. 

With this much to do, it was surprising to Voldy that he wasn’t as excited about this shopping trip as he probably should have been. The thing was, though, he wasn’t really thinking about how much he had to buy or how he was looking forward to going back to Hogwarts. Not that he wasn’t eager about it; he just didn’t feel it as much as usual. 

Dumbledore must have noticed this, because by the time Voldy had taken care of essentially everything, he patted Voldy on the back and said: “You’ve been a bit quiet. Is there something on your mind?”

At first, Voldy was a bit surprised at the direct question, as he had been so engrossed in his own thoughts that he had almost forgotten Dumbledore was even there. He wasn’t sure how to respond, because he doubted that Dumbledore would even understand. “Yeah, a bit,” he replied simply. “Preparing for some stuff.”

“I see,” Dumbledore said with a nod. “And I assume it has to do with something other than school? Or perhaps something only in relation to it?” 

For a split second, Voldy wondered if Dumbledore was able to read his mind. He looked down, and felt a familiar heat creep into his cheeks. Darn. Now it would be obvious. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “I dunno, it’s a bit weird.” He couldn’t be sure if Dumbledore was pulling one of his therapy moves, or if he was actually curious. But Voldy didn’t want to take the chance. 

To Voldy’s surprise, Dumbledore neither laughed, nor pressured him any further. “Alright,” he just said with another nod, smiling reassuringly. “Well, I’m sure whatever it is, you’ll do quite alright.” 

Voldy looked up and nodded back, somehow feeling like Dumbledore knew more than he was letting on. That was sort of a theme with Dumbledore, though, so he didn’t question it. At least not for now. Instead, he kept walking forward, dragging his trunk and supplies along. There was nothing more to be done for now, and Dumbledore had stopped talking, so Voldy went back to his thoughts. 

He wondered what telling Bella he liked her would be like. And how he would do it. For once, he wasn’t afraid of the fever getting the better of him. Judging by how he had managed over the summer while reading her letters, he was certain that he wasn’t affected by it as much as before. That was a big step, and one he was very proud of himself for having gotten over. He grinned as he walked, already eager to see how it would all happen.

\---

The next day, Voldy and Dumbledore hurried to the train station in order for Dumbledore to be able to prepare for the day as well. Before Dumbledore left, he gave Voldy another one of his all-knowing smiles and a pat on the head. It was as if Dumbledore was trying to show some kind of support, and Voldy began thinking that he somehow knew about the whole Bella business. That must have been it, which made Voldy feel more encouraged to go through with it. He smiled back and waved when Dumbledore left, and once he had put his luggage at the disposal, went to sit on one of the benches at the station to wait for the Hogwarts train.

Voldy picked up his wand and began practicing some light magic as he let his mind wander. He thought up all kinds of moments where he could tell Bella how he felt; in the Great Hall, in the Slytherin common room, or maybe somewhere quiet and private. He wondered what it would be like to be around her and not have to worry about her acting strange. He even came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t have to think about the fever anymore, because when it came to Bella, it didn’t hurt nearly as much. 

Still, there was one thing he wasn’t sure about. What would he do afterwards? He only had a vague idea of how this sort of thing worked from what Denise had told him the year before, so he didn’t know. He assumed there would be more touching and stuff, but what else was there? Bella probably knew. He could just ask her. It’d probably be a bit odd to do that, but she would understand. Hopefully. 

Suddenly, Voldy felt a light shiver go down his spine, and he squirmed in his seat. He was just so darn excited about all of this. It would be a completely new experience, and one he was so ready to go through. He looked up, and noticed that without him knowing, his wand had been shooting a few stray sparkles every now and then. He grinned, realizing exactly what it meant. 

After an hour or so of sitting alone with his thoughts, Voldy finally began to see more and more families come through the wall to the station. He perked up every time, just to see if either the Black or the Malfoy families were showing up. Finally, he saw a few familiar faces, and instantly sprinted towards them. He would recognize Bella’s crazy black hair anywhere.

“Bella!” he called as the family entered, expanding his arms excitedly.

Bella gasped and then started running towards him as well, her face practically lighting up as she did so. “Voldy!” she exclaimed rather loudly. The two of them then all but crashed into one another in a messy hug, and Voldy could have sworn that Bella was about to squeeze all the air out of him when she finally let go. “It’s so great to see you!” she then said, running her hands down his arms as she stepped away.

“You too,” Voldy said, smiling, feeling a bit ticklish under Bella’s touch. He looked over at the Blacks, who were staring at them like they were some kind of weirdoes. “I see your parents are as happy as ever.”

“Yeah, they’re always like that,” Bella said with a giggle. “They probably just think it’s weird that we’re acting like this ‘cause we’ve been writing each other all summer. But we haven’t seen each other! They just don’t understand!”

Voldy wasn’t entirely sure what it was that Bella’s parents were supposed to understand, but assumed it had something to do with their friendship. Which was weird seeing how they had been friends for two years. Oh well. The Blacks were always pretty weird about other people. 

“Has Lucius showed up yet?” Bella suddenly asked, snapping Voldy out of his thoughts.

“Uh, no, haven’t seen him,” he replied sheepishly, and then looked down to Bella’s hand, feeling a few tiny tingles. Would a now crowded train station be too inappropriate?

“Oh well, I’m sure we’ll find him,” Bella said with a shrug, and then actually linked her arm with Voldy’s as if nothing was more normal. He stared at her for a few seconds, constantly weighing his options. If he told her now, he would get it over with even before they reached the school. But at the same time, her parents were here, and it was getting rather busy at the station. This was proving to be more difficult than he had thought.

Bella and her sister said their goodbyes to their folks and soon all three of them were walking towards the train. All the while, Voldy was completely lost in his thoughts, mostly because Bella had barely even acknowledged that she was walking arm in arm with him so casually. Not even Cissy said anything about it. 

As the three of them stepped aboard the train, Voldy’s thoughts came to a complete halt. What if Bella had already figured it out? She probably knew loads more about this kind of stuff than he did, so maybe she had sensed it somehow and was just making things easier. Or maybe Lucius had told her in a letter. Well that certainly wasn’t fair. Voldy had actually wanted to be the one to tell her. It wasn’t his fault that he was a bit slow in this whole feelings department. 

Cissy left Voldy and Bella to find her friends, which left the two of them on their own for a while. Bella quickly found an empty compartment, and led Voldy inside. It wasn’t until she sat down that she seemed to notice that she was still clinging on to Voldy’s arm, and she let go, letting out a small giggle. Voldy smiled back at her, scooting a bit closer as they waited. He looked down into his lap and fidgeted a bit with his fingers, wondering if this was a good place. They were alone, after all, so it wouldn’t be too out of place. Right?

“Voldy? Are you okay?” Bella asked softly. She tentatively lifted her hand as if she wanted to cover Voldy’s with it, but kept hesitating. Voldy glanced up at her, and seeing the sincerity and concern in her face was enough to convince him that she didn’t know. And that she had to know. 

Finding a bit of courage, Voldy reached out his own hand and took Bella’s, which made her let out a small gasp. Voldy swallowed, just now realizing that he really didn’t have any idea of how to go about this. “I… no. No, I’m not okay,” he admitted. He saw Bella’s expression turn into a sad one, so continued before she could say anything. “I- I mean, I’ve just been thinking a lot lately. About… some stuff. And I know it’s sorta weird to say but I know more than I should and I want you to know about it too.” There was a loud thumping in his ears, and Voldy was a bit worried that he would actually end up screaming at Bella if this kept up.

“Yes?” Bella urged him, and Voldy could tell that she was expecting to hear something grand. Her eyes were practically sparkling, and it was a bit distracting because Voldy couldn’t stop staring at them. “What are you trying to say?” 

Voldy could feel his cheeks begin to heat up, and he became very aware of how sweaty his palms were getting. At this point he wasn’t sure if he preferred the fever or not. “Bella,” he began, and then took a deep breath. “I- I wanted to… to tell you, that I… I--” 

Before Voldy could even begin to think about how he was going to finish that sentence, the compartment door flew open, revealing a very happy-looking Lucius. Instantly, Voldy let go of Bella’s hand and backed away from her a bit, and Bella noticeably tensed as she scooted further as well. They both watched as Lucius made his way inside, a wide grin planted on his face the whole time. 

“Hi guys!” he greeted as he took his seat opposite the two of them. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. How is everything? Excited for third year?” 

For a moment, Voldy just stared at his friend, but quickly thought that he should at least reply in order to break the tension. “Yeah, yeah it’s great,” he said and smiled at Lucius, the other boy’s smile somehow managing to be contagious. “Been a while since we saw you, how’ve you been?” he then asked, wondering if it was the right thing to do.

Lucius shrugged. “Okay, I guess,” he said. “I mean, that trip to Australia was great fun, but my parents got a bit snooty about the weather. What about you Bella?” he then asked, turning towards Bella, who was still as tense as ever.

“Fine,” she all but hissed through gritted teeth. “Everything’s just fine. Peachy. Freaking fantastic.”

Both Voldy and Lucius looked Bella over and then at each other. Lucius made a questioning face, to which Voldy just shrugged. Even though he now knew what the issue was, he still didn’t really understand why Bella always got so icy with Lucius when he did something like this. True, he had interrupted a moment, but there would be another chance. And Lucius didn’t know what had been going on, so why blame him for it? This was all so very, very weird. 

\---

One of the many things Voldy had come to love about Hogwarts was the sorting ceremony. Not that it was that much different from any other dinner at the school, but it was just so much fun to see the large group of first-years slowly dissolve and join with the four houses. He was of course always thrilled to see more and more Slytherins gather around their table, though he didn’t really bother remembering any names this time. Mostly because his mind was still occupied with how he was going to tell Bella. After the incident in the train, he was absolutely sure that she needed to know now more than ever. If this kept up, Bella might end up exploding from some kind of tensing ailment or something. 

Once the ceremony was over, as well as the feast, Voldy, Bella and Lucius made their way towards the common room to tuck in for the night. Voldy almost stopped Bella from going up to the girls’ dormitory because he wanted to talk to her, but chickened out at the last second, and instead just bid her goodnight. If he hadn’t known better, he would have said that she looked a bit disappointed. But he was probably imagining things. 

Voldy quickly made his way up to the boys’ dorm, where Lucius was already going through his trunk. Voldy collapsed on his usual bed, ignoring the commotion around them as the other students settled down as well. Once Lucius had lain down as well, Voldy turned towards him, ever thankful that their beds were still right next to each other’s. “Hey, Lucius…” he began, which prompted Lucius to bring his attention to him. “Have you ever… y’know, had a crush?”

Something about Lucius’ face lit up, and it was as if he had to bite his lip to contain himself. “Not really, no,” he replied, and Voldy could tell that there was some kind of restraint in his voice. “Maybe a like or two, but never a crush. Why d’you ask?” 

At that, Voldy closed his eyes for a bit and sighed. “I think I have one, and I don’t know what to do about it,” he admitted, just now realizing that he never told Lucius about his feelings for Bella either. “I want to tell her, but I don’t know how. Or what to say. Or what to do.” 

Voldy heard a bit of movement, and opened his eyes to see what had happened. He almost jumped out of his skin when he found that Lucius was actually crouching down on the floor right in front of his face, grinning wide. “I didn’t know you were such a romantic type, Voldy,” he whispered excitedly. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

Romantic? Voldy almost asked, but stopped himself in favor of answering the question. He smiled shyly and looked down, not willing to look directly at Lucius as he told him this. “It’s, uh… it’s Bellatrix, actually,” he said, once again feeling a little sting in his cheeks. 

“Really?” Lucius practically squeaked. “So- so I didn’t ruin anything when I told you last year? You really like her back?” Voldy nodded, and if it was even physically possible, Lucius’ grin widened even more. “That’s great! Have you told her yet?”

Voldy could feel a small tickle in his stomach at that, and pursed his lips. “That’s the thing. I have no idea how I’m even supposed to do that,” he told Lucius. “I mean, I was sort of really going for it in the train before you showed up, but now I don’t know if I should do it right away or let it wait or something.”

Lucius’ eyes widened, and his grin disappeared. “I interrupted you guys again?” he said. “Why don’t either of you ever say anything? Oh man, I’m sorry.” He ran his hand through his blond hair and shook his head. “Okay. Alright, look. I know what you can do. After class or after dinner or just after some kind of activity, tell her to have a word somewhere private. Oh, and you should probably make it a warm, cozy place. So the common room’s out. Maybe do it by a fire or something, or some place with a great view! Just somewhere that you know she’s gonna feel really special.”

As Lucius spoke, Voldy ruled out a few places. Any place close to the dungeons, any particularly crowded place like the school grounds, the Great Hall, any corridor… Wow, he was really running out of options. “Is there any place that’d fit for this?” he asked Lucius, hoping that he would have some ideas.

“I dunno, but I guess anything goes when it comes to Bella,” Lucius replied. “But I think she’d appreciate it if you picked a place that she likes.”

“But what kind of--” Voldy began, but was interrupted by someone groaning in an irritated manner in the bed next to his, and sitting up. 

“Will you guys knock it off? Some of us are trying to sleep here,” Snape, the boy with a ghostly face, grumbled. “And talk about girls some other place, jeez…” With that, he lay back down with a huff, leaving the other two boys to stare at each other, completely unsure of what to do.

With a hint of fright in his face, Lucius slowly crawled back into his own bed. “Later,” he quickly whispered to Voldy before he turned to his side and went to sleep. Meanwhile, Voldy just kept lying on his back, fully dressed, unsure of what to even do with himself. So apparently setting did matter. Well, that stunk. How on earth was he supposed to pull this off? Bella would want to know, and he still had no clue how to do it! This was starting to get a bit frustrating. Maybe if he slept on it, he’d get some ideas.

\---

Regardless of anything that happened at Hogwarts, there was always a certain thing that Voldy dreaded, and that was the reveal of which class Slytherin would be sharing with Ravenclaw. It would be so much easier if it wasn’t for him, though. Then Voldy would at least be able to concentrate. 

This year, it was Transfiguration, and honestly, Voldy wasn’t sure what to think of that. On one hand, he knew it wouldn’t be too distracting, since the spells wouldn’t send his mind on a rampage, but on the other hand, Dumbledore was teaching it. That hadn’t really been an issue during his first two years, but given the history both Voldy and he had with Dumbledore, this would probably end up being a bit awkward. 

Even with his mind currently preoccupied with his Bella issue, Voldy still couldn’t help but constantly look around the classroom once he had sat down. Even when Bella sat down next to him, he didn’t stop. There was no chance that anything would happen other than massive fever attacks, but he still wanted to know where Quirrell would end up sitting. 

“Voldy,” he heard Bella say, and so finally turned towards her. “Lucius is sitting right behind us, if that’s what you’re looking for,” she said with a small smile. 

“Oh, right, yeah, of course,” Voldy replied, trying to cover up his curiosity by looking behind him, and smiling at Lucius, who was in fact sitting there. While that was nice to know and all, he still hadn’t gotten an answer to the real puzzle. Where was Quirrell and his girl friends? 

Voldy was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a soft touch on his hand, and he looked back at Bella. She was still smiling, though it was a bit wary, like she was worried about him for whatever reason. He smiled back in what he hoped was a confident look, and settled back in his seat. At this point, he didn’t want to bother.

Almost instantly, the door to the classroom opened up, and in came Dumbledore, along with a few more third-year Ravenclaws. Voldy perked, and could feel a clench in his stomach when he saw that Denise, Meredith and Quirrell were among the students that Dumbledore had brought in. What was all that about? Voldy tried to be a little discreet when he watched the kids take their seats, relieved to see that Quirrell didn’t notice that he was watching him. He and some girl Voldy had never noticed before sat together almost at the back of the class. That was good, as Voldy and Bella were at the front. Voldy let out a sigh of relief. At least this time he didn’t have to worry too much about the fever attacks. 

Before he could think any further about anything, Dumbledore tapped his wand against his desk, causing everyone to look up at him. “Welcome, all of you,” he greeted them. “I’m glad to see how many of you have decided to stay in this class, as it does tend to bore people. But that’s probably because they never advance to the next level and get to the fun parts. Like learning how to make yourself an animagus, for example.” A few giggles and murmurs spread throughout the classroom, and Dumbledore chuckled. “But that’s for another day.”

As Dumbledore spoke, Voldy could feel Bella’s hand brushing against his again, and so he looked down on them. He linked his pinky with hers, wondering if he was doing the right thing. She didn’t seem to mind, and even scooted a bit closer to him. Voldy swallowed, and thought back to what Lucius had told him earlier that week. With his free hand (which was thankfully his writing one), he took out his quill and scribbled down a little note on a piece of parchment: can we talk? Someplace where no one’ll barge in? He slid the note over to Bella, and cautiously waited for a reaction. 

Bella quickly glanced over the note, and then squirmed a bit as she covered her mouth with her free hand. She let go of Voldy’s so she could pick up her quill, and then hurriedly wrote down a response. She pushed the note over, all the while nodding excitedly. Voldy took the note, and read it over:

Yes. I know exactly the place. Meet me on the fifth floor by the statue of Boris the bewildered after Charms.

Whoa. Bella was actually prepared. Voldy swallowed nervously and nodded to her, now mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen. There was no way he would be able to concentrate on this class now. Even without Quirrell’s presence, he would still be insanely distracted because of the Bella issue.

\---

Charms just so happened to be the last class before lunch, so Voldy had a feeling that Bella knew exactly what she was doing. As everyone made their way to the Great Hall, Voldy went up several staircases in order to reach the fifth floor. He had just missed Bella as she had rushed out of the classroom before he had had a chance to speak to her about this meeting of theirs. 

Voldy quickly reached the statue as he came up to the fifth floor, and immediately found it odd that Bella would choose this of all places to meet. He had a look around, momentarily thinking that he had gotten something wrong. “Bella?” he whispered out, hoping that only she would hear him. “Bella, are you around here somewhere?”

Just has he had let go of the last word, he heard a door creak open in the distance, and quickly turned on his heel to see where the sound had come from. Voldy felt a small chill as he thought that maybe someone had caught him, but relaxed when he saw that Bella was peeking from behind the door that had opened, and was signaling for him to come in. Voldy dashed across the floor, and hurried inside the room, half-expecting it to be a broom closet. 

What he saw instead was the biggest, grandest bathroom he had ever seen in his entire life. Not only was everything made of marble, but it was actually lit by a chandelier that hung from the ceiling. Even the stalls were intimidatingly huge. But what mostly caught Voldy’s attention was the enormous tub that sunk into the floor, of course made of marble as well. Dozens upon dozens of golden taps were strewn all around it, and there was even a diving board on one end. It baffled Voldy that he had never known about this place before.

“What...?” he began, but ended up only huffing a small breath. He tried again, pointing at the tub and looking over at Bella. “Is that a swimming pool?” 

Bella giggled, locking the door behind her as she approached Voldy. “Some people think it is,” she replied simply. “It’s actually supposed to be a bathtub, believe it or not. But yeah, I think most prefects use it as a swimming pool more than anything.” 

“Prefects? This is the prefects’ bathroom?” Voldy said and scoffed. “How did you even know how to get in here? You’re not a prefect.” 

“No, but my cousin is, and he told me the password. Anyway, that’s not the point,” Bella said as she put her hands behind her back and took slow, careful steps towards Voldy. “What, um… What’s this all about? Why the privacy?” she asked, biting her lip nervously after she spoke. 

It was only now that Voldy even remembered why they were here in the first place. His mouth quirked a bit and he felt a hint of a blush in his face. He sheepishly began rubbing his arm and huffed again. “Uh, yeah, about that, um…” he began, noticing that with every second that passed, Bella was getting closer. “Listen, it’s- it’s, gah, I wanna just- um… Look, it- it’s about the whole… the train thing,” he finally stammered, surprised that he was even able to get the words out, simple as they were. “I mean, what we were talking about. On the train. When we were, y’know, coming back to school,” Voldy replied, now feeling more awkward than he had expected to. “You know. How I was thinking about some stuff? And, uh… and how I wanted you to know about it too?”

At this point, Bella was pretty much right in front of him, and was looking at him expectantly. Voldy could see that her cheeks were starting to redden, and was a bit surprised that his own weren’t burning yet. “Yeah, I remember,” Bella said quietly, but there was a bit of a waver in her voice, like she was trying not to shout or something.

Voldy was finally able to let go of his arm, and instead offered his hand to Bella. She quickly took it, and Voldy felt a bit more confident. Especially since his stomach still wasn’t going into fever mode. He looked into Bella’s eyes, managing to smile a bit. “So, do you want to know what it is?” he asked.

Bella’s breath hitched, and Voldy could tell she was doing her best not to start jumping up and down. Did she already know? “Y- yes, I think I do,” she practically hissed. 

Carefully, Voldy took Bella’s other hand in his and then put them together, stepping a little bit closer to her. He took a few deep breaths, proud of himself for being able to keep both his heart and his stomach under control, and simply said: “Bella, I like you. I like you a lot. As in, I _like_ -like you.” He paused for a second, just taking in the wide-eyed expression Bella had on her face. Voldy smacked his lips and smiled. “So yeah. That, uh… that was it.”

For a moment, nothing happened, and Voldy actually started to worry that he had gone about this all wrong somehow. It wasn’t until Bella started to jump up and down and finally let out the loudest scream of joy that Voldy realized he had, in fact, done everything right. Bella let go of Voldy’s hands and let her arms flail about as she continued squealing with happiness. The noise echoed around the room, and hurt Voldy’s ears a little, but he didn’t silence her. He had never seen her so happy, and there was no way he was going to ruin that for her.

“Oh Voldy!” she finally exclaimed as she jumped him, clumsily wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. Voldy staggered a bit, but was able to keep his balance as he held her as well, quickly noticing that her hold on him was a bit tighter than he would have appreciated. “You have no idea how happy this makes me! I- I like you too! Oh gosh, Voldy I like you so much!”

Voldy let out a small laugh at that, realizing how silly the two of them were acting. But hey, Bella was happy, so he was happy. He loosened his grip on her a bit, thankful that she did as well so that he could breathe properly again. Once they had let go of each other, Voldy lingered a bit on her arms, and smiled at her. And honestly, he got stuck. He had absolutely no clue as to how to move forward from this point. He awkwardly looked to the side and then back at Bella, and grinned stupidly. 

“So, uh… what do we do now?” he had to ask, even though he knew it made him look like a complete idiot. 

Again Bella just giggled, and to Voldy’s surprise, she patted his cheek. Well. That was new. “Now we make it all official,” she said, and closed her eyes as if she was about to do some kind of magic. 

Nothing happened, so Voldy had to ask again. “Make what official?” 

Bella opened her eyes, and gave Voldy an amused, but condescending look. “You know, all of it,” she replied. “The fact that we’re together. That you’re my boyfriend and I’m your girlfriend. That’s how it works.”

“Oh, okay,” Voldy said lamely, still somewhat at a loss as to what Bella was talking about. “How do we do that?”

“We kiss, silly,” Bella said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Voldy just tilted his head in confusion, which made Bella let out another giggle. “Oh, you are just the cutest thing, Voldy! We kiss, which means that we put our lips together. You really don’t know how that works?”

“Well, no, I’ve never actually tried it myself,” Voldy replied awkwardly, finding it a bit odd that someone would find his cluelessness ‘cute’. “Is that… all you do?”

Bella’s hand on Voldy’s cheek softened a bit, and she pulled him a bit closer. So close that he could practically count her eyelashes at this point. Voldy swallowed nervously, and for some reason, the only thing he could think of was that if he had a proper nose, it would probably be touching Bella’s right now. “Just close your eyes, Voldy,” she practically whispered as she did just that. “And I’ll show you everything.”

Voldy obeyed, closing his eyes shut as he could tell that Bella was coming in even closer. Wow, he could actually feel her breath on his lips now. Wasn’t that weird. Before he could think on that any further, he felt something warm press against his lips, and figured it was Bella’s. As soon as it happened, Voldy realized that he didn’t even know what to do, so he just stood still, waiting for Bella to do something. She pulled away after a few seconds, but then pressed their lips together again, and again, and again, pecking him as if she was taste-testing or something. 

In time, Voldy gathered that he was actually supposed to pucker his lips, so he did just that, resulting in a small, approving sound from Bella. He felt her other hand on the other side of his face now, and it was like she was trying to go for more. Well, what more was there? Voldy got his answer almost as quickly as his mind raised the question, as Bella steadily began to open her mouth a bit, almost pushing him into doing the same. He did, and now things were really getting weird. Bella’s mouth kept opening and closing against Voldy’s and her full lips pressed against his continuously. If Voldy didn’t know better, he would have thought that she was preparing to eat him. 

Soon enough, Bella pulled back, and slowly opened her eyes, seemingly having to catch her breath. She let go of Voldy’s face, running her hands down his neck and to his shoulders, where they stayed. “How… h- how was that?” she asked, and licked her lips slyly. 

Voldy just looked at her, unsure of what to say. “Um… new, I guess,” was all he could think of. Thankfully, it seemed to be appropriate, because it made Bella chuckle.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” she said. “It was my first one too. But hey, it’s all sorted now. We’re officially together, so there’ll be loads of times where we can practice and do things better.” She sighed dreamily, and then gave Voldy one last peck before letting go of his shoulders as well. “This’ll be the first of many, Voldy. Because now you’re my boyfriend.” She flashed him a smile and then turned towards the door to the bathroom, unlocking it as she spoke. “Now come on. We need to tell everyone! Especially Lucius. He’s gonna love this!” And with that, she sprinted out the door. 

Voldy followed her a bit slowly, once again wrapped in his thoughts. This could be the start of something really cool. All this stuff about being together and kisses and stuff, and not once had he gotten a fever attack. This was brilliant! Perhaps this would finally help him get rid of the stupid thing once and for all.

Boyfriend. Voldy grinned to himself. He liked that.


	19. this is not an update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry

Hi.

  
This is the author. Frecleface, TheRavingRedhead, whatever. Uh. I‘m here to tell you that this fic is dead.

  
There‘s a reason it hasn‘t been updated in over four years. It‘s not just because I‘ve been stuck in a writer’s block for fics in like five of them, although I would like to emphasize that that is 100 percent still a factor.

  
No, it’s because I’ve just completely lost interest.

  
I failed the quintessential writer protocol when starting to write this fic. While I did have ideas on how and when I wanted some scenes to turn out, and had planned certain events (i.e. Quirrell’s past, the two friends’ reunion, Voldy’s New Year’s moment, etc.), there is nothing compelling me to write anything. Hell, I have drafts of moments that I wanted to throw in the fic somewhere during their later years but now I can’t do it because this fic is completely lost on me. It’s gone. It’s dead.

  
I am so genuinely sorry. I hate to be one of those writers who just gives up. Who leaves their writers hanging. Who leaves fics unupdated for months and now years. But that’s what’s happened now. And I hate that. I hate that I’ve had to left you all hanging for so long, after so much teasing and so much buildup.

  
So as some condolences, here are factors that I meant to implement to the fic but never got around to (this might be edited later when I remember):

  
\- The reason Meredith was so hostile to Voldy was because after befriending Quirrell, she assumed that Voldy was all to blame, and that he had been ignoring Quirrell deliberately this whole time. Later chapters were planned where their interactions would’ve softened and he would learn about all of this, and the two would not think of each other as enemies anymore

  
\- Denise was planned to have a crush on one of the cameo boys introduced during the sorting segment (I think it might’ve been Chris or Tyler, I can’t even remember anymore)

  
\- Voldy was supposed to learn about what his “fever” meant through either Bella or Snape

  
\- Snape was supposed to be a foil, and the fact that he had a crush on his childhood friend as well but was having trouble with someone else was supposed to have Voldy on edge with Quirrell during their later years

  
\- Bella and Voldy were supposed to have sex for the first time in the prefects’ bath at some point

  
\- Darren, who Quirrell had a crush on, was meant to reject his advances (politely bc the former recognized how huge of a step that was for the latter) and that was supposed to break Quirrell’s heart.

  
\- Bella and Voldy would break up, because she would notice how he’s not really thinking of her the way she wants him to, and would rather spend time with either Lucius or Quirrell than her.

  
\- I THINK I meant for Bella and Quirrell to have dueled at some point? And for him to be hurt by her? And him telling Voldy about that? I can’t even remember at this point. Maybe I teased at it and never picked it up. Then that was this.

  
\- At some point I meant for the two boys to have a “Harry And Hermione” (name of a song on the HBP soundtrack) moment where they reflect on how none of their crushes or relationships have worked out. It would be a huge moment for Volds to reflect on himself and how his love for Quirrell never really went away

  
\- Of course I wanted to have a dance – kind of akin to the Yule Ball in the books – where both our boys would go stag, but end up just going with each other because fuck it, right? And then they would eventually dance with each other and it would end with a kiss between the two (those who spoke to me during the inception of Fever know that the inspiration for this was the song “Fireworks” from the OotP OST)

  
\- Something would happen between the two - Quirrell would be overwhelmed and not take it seriously at first, thinking it’s just a surge of feelings

  
\- And then they would have an outside meeting of sorts, truly reconciling and admitting their feelings. Holding each other’s hands. And I wanted this scene to end with Quirrell repeating his line from when he first got adopted, but with a much more emotional meaning now that Voldy truly understands. “I love you, Voldy. I always have.”

  
\- Then there was to be an epilogue of them being dads and getting ready for Wang Mu’s first day at Hogwarts.

  
So yeah. I truly have no excuses. I really don’t. I can literally only plead for apologies. And for my readers to listen to a few HP OST tracks to try and figure out how I would’ve pictured a scene based on that.

  
I am so sorry to leave you all hanging like this. But I truly have no inspiration to finish this. Maybe sometime. Maybe when I’m retired in like 70 years. Maybe never. I don’t know. But I hope these points give you an idea of what I was thinking, and can fill in the blanks.

  
I am truly sorry for disappointing you.


End file.
